RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
MICHAEL JACKSON’S MOTHER LOSES CONTROL OF ESTATE
By Rhapee Kanasta, Ass. Press Reporter
Today at the Neverland Ranch, Michael Jackson’s pet German Sheppard, Estate, slipped his leash and knocked down a child, shocking fans and paparazzi alike.
“It all happened so fast,” said Jackson’s mother, Katherine, who was out walking the dog when the incident occurred. “Michael’s Estate was behaving just fine, but when he saw that little boy, he got all excited, broke free, ran over, and began humping his leg.”
“Estate is a dog who loves children,” said Vinny Slimp, spokesperson for Estate. “It is believed that he is compensating for his deep feelings of not experiencing a happy puppyhood. He has been trying to make up for that ever since.”
“I am not sure what the humping is all about,” Slimp continued, “but I am sure it can be traced to trauma Estate experienced when, as a puppy, Joe Jackson – Michael’s father – forced Estate to perform tricks and left him alone for long periods of time with adult men.”
The dog is scheduled to be euthanized on July 8, 2009.
July 7, 2009 at 2:49 am
If this was England, ‘losing control of estate’ would have meant ‘crashing station wagon into tree’.
July 7, 2009 at 3:42 am
ROFLMAO! Great work.
I notice that a “possibly related post” is titled “Michael’s Will has Been Filed”. So it went to a manicurist?
Sorry. I’ll get me coat.