EXCLUSIVE!! INTERVIEW WITH SCHRODINGER’S CAT

.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Thank you for agreeing to speak with us.

SCHRODINGER’S CAT:  My pleasure Paul.  I’m a big fan of your blog.
.

.

POE:  Thank you. Let’s get right to it: you are  Erwin Schrödinger‘s cat, correct?

CAT:  Yes, I belong to that mother fucker.

.

Erwin Schrödinger – total mother fucker.

.

POE:  I beg your pardon?

CAT:  You heard me.  A total mother fucker.  Do you know about his famous experiment?

POE:  In broad terms, yes, but not in detail.

CAT:  Well, let me tell you all about it.  That asshole Erwin came up with this experiment to prove something or other dealing with quantum theory.  Are you following me?

POE:  I’m following you.

CAT:  Okay, well, in this experiment, he puts me in a box that contains a deadly poison, the poison is released and supposedly the person looking at the box can’t tell if I am alive or dead.

.

.

POE:  He tried this?

CAT:  Yeah.

POE:  So what happened?

CAT:  What happened is I busted the hell out of that fucking box!  Screw the experiment.

.

.

NEXT – INTERVIEW WITH PAVLOV’S DOG

.

.

.

A SHORT CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE

.

Last night in a taxi on our way back from dinner, my wife said to me:

“You know those guys who are charming when they are intoxicated?  That isn’t you.”

I will wait a day or so before I ask what exactly I did or said that I don’t remember.  I hope it wasn’t any ethnic slurs.

.

Sean Hannity George Zimmerman Interview: Fox News Host Gets First Sitdown With Trayvon Martin Shooter

No, I don’t think it is important to you, and you are free to be proud of whatever you have, or lack.

My country is infested with a plague of people who champion ignorance, are suspicious of education, and rely on jingoism and dogma over reason – and I think you just proved my point.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

HEADLINE – NASA DEVELOPING MENU FOR MARS MISSION

.

NASA recently revealed for the first time that NASA is working on a menu for a mission to Mars (the “Red Planet”) envisioned for “sometime in the 2030′s.”

NASA’s Director of Space Food Science, Reginald Quince, agreed to discuss this exciting news with PEOPLE OF EARTH.

Reginald Quince

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Director Quince, thank you for agreeing to speak with us today to discuss this new Mars menu that NASA recently announced.

REGINALD QUINCE:  No, thank you for the opportunity to let the world know about the amazing work we are doing to make sure that the first people on Mars have the very best food available to celebrate their great achievement.

POE:  I don’t want to misrepresent the reach of this forum. My blog is somewhat exclusively read.

QUINCE:  How exclusive?

POE:  If this interview is read at all, it will be read primarily by people in Australia, New Zealand and isolated rural parts of the Orkney Islands.

QUINCE:  I was under the impression that your blog communicated to all of the people of earth.

POE:  Theoretically yes, but in practice, unfortunately not.

QUINCE: Well…. I’m here, we might as well talk.

POE:  Thank you.

QUINCE: Better than nothing.

POE:  Well let’s get right to it.  Tell me more about this menu NASA has announced.

QUINCE:  My pleasure, Paul.  After months and months of meetings and reading endless positions papers, it was finally decided that it will be a tasting menu.

POE:  Tasting menu?

QUINCE:  Yes!  NASA has worked diligently to create the finest, most flavorful dishes made from the best ingredients from around the world paired with the perfect wines!

.

.

.

POE:  Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse?

.

.

.

QUINCE:  If by that you mean have we put the cart of culinary excellence before the horse of gastronomical delight, then yes, that is what we did, what we are doing and what we are striving to achieve!!

.

.

POE:  Let me approach this problem from a different direction.  Before you start spending money to plan what astronauts on Mars will be eating, don’t you think you first have to figure out how to get there and how to pay for it?

[At that point, Director Quince left our recording studios and would not return our calls.]

.

.

.

“PUT THAT BACK! YOU KNOW WE CAN’T AFFORD NO TANG!

.

OBAMA VS ROMNEY – THE TRUE DIFFERENCE

.

.

I’m betting on the Professor.  For obvious reasons.

.

HEADLINE – WHAT IS ROMNEY HIDING BY WITHHOLDING HIS TAX RETURNS?

.

.

Money.

.

.

He’s hiding money.

.

.

Lots and lots of money.

.

.

A shit load of money.

.

.

So much money he can play with it – literally.

.

.

Enough money for Romney to buy another small country.

.

.

Ours.

.

.

.

BONUS PICS: 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER TEXT

.

.

.
.

Downeaster Alexa

.

The American Century was defined by optimism. And we Americans sold that optimism to a world hungry to feel optimism either directly or vicariously through us.  We sold our optimism through art – film, music, literature, clothing.  Everything and anything that touched us was left cleaner, healthier, younger and stronger.  

Or so it seemed to the world because that is the impression we sold, and everyone from the movie moguls to the guy selling black market Levis in a Moscow alley during the Soviet era got rich selling that impression because there was, at its heart, some truth to it – or at least enough truth to allow the willing suspension of disbelief.

The American Century is over, and a nation facing massive unemployment, declining literacy, declining life expectancy, increasing infant morality, increasing racism, bigotry and blind religious dogma snuffing out reason and the Life of the Mind cannot sell optimism any longer.

I wonder how the world will embrace Recession/Depression Rock.  I wonder if there will be any money in it?

Downeaseter Alexa

Well I’m on the Downeaster Alexa
And I’m cruising through Block Island Sound
I have charted a course to the Vineyard
But tonight I am Nantucket bound

We took on diesel back in Montauk yesterday
And left this morning from the bell in Gardiner’s Bay
Like all the locals here I’ve had to sell my home
Too proud to leave I worked my fingers to the bone

So I could own my Downeaster Alexa
And I go where the ocean is deep
There are giants out there in the canyons
And a good captain can’t fall asleep

I’ve got bills to pay and children who need clothes
I know there’s fish out there but where God only knows
They say these waters aren’t what they used to be
But I’ve got people back on land who count on me

So if you see my Downeaster Alexa
And if you work with the rod and the reel
Tell my wife I am trawling Atlantis
And I still have my hands on the wheel

Now I drive my Downeaster Alexa
More and more miles from shore every year
Since they tell me I can’t sell no stripers
And there’s no luck in swordfishing here.

I was a Bayman like my father was before
Can’t make a living as a Bayman anymore
There ain’t much future for a man who works the sea
There ain’t no island left for Islanders like me.

.

.

But there is a silver lining to every cloud, and in this case America’s loss is Australia’s gain as someone (maybe even Americans) steps into the void left by the American Decline to sell Australian optimism to a world still willing to pay for just the scent of it.  I predict an explosion of media selling Australian images, sounds and objects dusted with Australian optimism.