HEADLINE – 2 ACCIDENTALLY SHOT AT GUN SHOW
Bought a gun at a gun show without a background check.
WACO, Texas – 2 people were injured at a gun show, completely baffling gun rights activists.
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Inbred redneck gun owner contemplating the causes of gun violence.
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“It is a complete mystery to me how on earth these two people could be accidentally shot a gun show,” said Skip Henderson, gun enthusiast, misogynist, homophobe, racist and sociopath.
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Skip Anderson can buy this gun at a gun show without a background check.
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At gun shows Americans – or anyone – can purchase automatic weapons without any background check being conducted.
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“Hello, my name is Joe, and that is my real name. It is not a made up name. I am Joe. And I am interested in purchasing your AK-47 in a cash transaction. Oooo! Are those high-capacity ammunition magazine clips I see in that bag?”
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“I bet Obama snuck in here and shot those 2 people to make gun owners look bad so that he and his Negro Army can come and take away our guns” Henderson said.
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“Guns are not responsible for these injuries and it is completely irresponsible to imply that guns have any connection to gun violence whatsoever anywhere in the world especially at a gun show,” said Tripp Wightman, a gun rights activist,”doomsday prepper” and paranoid schizophrenic who buys guns at gun shows without any background checks and makes methane from his own excrement.
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Mentally unfit to purchase a gun, but passed a background check because no court had ever declared him mentally unfit. So, like hundreds of thousands of people who should not ever own a gun, he was allowed to purchase one. And then he went to a political rally.
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“I will shoot anyone in the head multiple times using a semi automatic weapon with a fucking huge ammo clip,” Wightman said. “I’m sorry, I lost my train of thought. Oh yeah, the point I am trying to make is to make it very clear that I will shoot and kill anyone who argues that gun violence – the epidemic of gun violence that is sweeping across our nation and tearing apart the fabric of our society. Hell, it happened again. I totally lost my train of thought.”
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He purchased two hand guns, a shot gun, and a semi automatic rifle and passed all three background checks. No court had ever declared him mentally unfit. Consequently he was not in the federal database that is used to perform background checks of people buying guns.
After purchasing these guns, he went to the cinema.
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“Where was I? Oh yeah, I will brutally murder anyone who so much as implies that guns have anything to do with gun violence or attempts in any way to improve mental health care for background checks to prevent someone like me from buying all the guns I want. And then I will mutilate their bodies. And if possible, I will sell the body parts – including fluids – to raise money so I can buy more guns. That is how much I love America. That is how much I love the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution that protects my rights to own and use weapons that are designed to kill people. Lots and lots of people. Lots and lots of smelly, anti-American sinners who are building socialist agnostic, atheist, and Catholic robots that steal my luggage, violate my rights and infringe on my personal freedoms,” said Wightman.
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He bought this gun at a gun show without a background check. And now he is watching your children walk to school.
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“No one loves America more than me. Or guns,” said Wightman. “Did I tell you that I make methane from my own poop? I do it to stop the government from reading my thoughts.”
“The only option I will consider to remedy what is arguably an epidemic of gun related deaths in the United States is what the NRA proposed, and that is posting armed guards in every school in the country. But I do not want any taxpayer money to pay for it. I want these armed guards to be volunteers.”
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Eager to volunteer.
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”In other words, people like me,” Wightman concluded before adjusting the aluminum foil cap covering his head.
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Gun owners are willing to kill in order to maintain unrestrained access to assault weapons and the lack of background checks for those buying automatic weapons.
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UPDATE: subsequent to the posting of this story, 5 additional people were accidentally shot at gun shows in the United States.
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January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Paul, Paul, Paul. As a lawyer you should know the importance of getting your facts straight. There were FIVE (5) people accidentally shot at gun shows on Gun Appreciation Day – at least that’s all that have been reported so far.
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
After all, some may have been too embarrassed to report it while others may not have noticed yet, due to their less efficient nervous systems.
No doubt you saw the legitimate protester at a J C Penny’s involving an unloaded AR-15 strapped to his back, to defend against “criminals, cartels, drug lords” and other “evil men.” Perhaps you could explain to an ignorant Australian how this would work?
If a panicky shopkeeper pulled out a shotgun or Saturday Night Special and shot the heavily armed Mr Kelly, would he be within his rights under “Stand Your Ground” laws? Or if a passing Drug Lord thought “Egad, what a nice AR-15. I must possess it!”, what would stop him from shooting Mr Kelly in the back and taking both the rifle and the Glock?
It seems to me that Mr Kelly and his ilk must form armed bands (militias if you will) and do their shopping with men on point and rear guard to protect against the theft of their weapons by gang members. Also, an unloaded weapon is clearly useless so they’d better have them loaded and cocked at all times, while scanning passers-by for signs they may be “evil men”. Of course the passers-by will also be exercising their constitutional rights to form heavily armed bands of shoppers or, for example, to go to the bank.
I cannot see how these trends can do aught but benefit your once-great nation and I look forward with interest to the results of your latest noble social experiment.
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
“I cannot see how these trends can do aught but benefit your once-great nation and I look forward with interest to the results of your latest noble social experiment.”
I sense your sincere good wishes, Greg, but there is a part of me that suspects you are laughing at us.
Not that I blame you, of course.
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
But isn’t that the normal frequency of gun injury in US? It’s nothing unusual is it?
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Michael – are you talking about the graph or are you talking about the number of people killed or injured while attending gun shows? Or are you simply being facetious in that charming Antipodean way?
[Incidentally, (as I think you know) I am using DragonDictate to do a lot of my writing these days. Compared with my former keyboard prowess, dictation and subsequent correction is painstakingly and abrogating way slow. Although the program often disappoints me (inexplicable spelling, punctuation and grammar errors, and limits on editing functions) it often utterly surprises me. For example, even though it often cannot understand my voice for the simplest words, it nevertheless understood and properly spelled “antipodean.”]
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Big laughs. Real funny. Violence is justified to defend the Constitution. The enemies of the Constitution aren’t armed.
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
I did laugh while reading this although I’m not sure that’s what you intended.
I think it might be a psychological defence mechanism … or perhaps I’m as crazy as they are but just not as heavily armed.
I have nail scissors. And I’m prepared to use them …
January 20, 2013 at 12:46 p01
I will defend to the death your right to have nail scissors, my dear. If nail scissors existed in the days of the American Revolutionary War, surely the American founding fathers would have inserted into the Constitution an inalienable and unrestricted right to wield nail scissors as part of maintaining a militia.
Got to have trimmed nails to effectively load, aim and shoot a musket at a pommy bastard Redcoat. And, in a more modern context, well-manicured fingernails are a plus when attaching a high-volume ammunition magazine to an automatic weapon and then killing a bunch of children in a school. Or a bunch of people in a movie theater. Or a bunch of people in a Hindu temple in Wisconsin. Whatever. The point is that proper fingernail hygiene is arguably essential to the free exercise of the right to bear arms in these United States and anyone arguing in favor of a statute or regulation that in any way inhibit that right should be threatened with violence. That is the American way.
January 21, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Paul, why do you hate freedom?
January 21, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Because freedom here means the right to be free from responsibility for the consequences of personal stupidity and intentional ignorance. That version o freedom is uniquely American.
January 21, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Clearly not enough gun related deaths at guns shows.
January 21, 2013 at 12:46 p01
We can’t be far behind then Paul. Abrogation of personal responsibility is fast becoming a national sport hereabouts.
January 21, 2013 at 12:46 p01
Perhaps it is cultural, then. Here, we approach sport in the same manner we approach automatic weapons – i.e., as neurotic obsessions.
January 22, 2013 at 12:46 p01
You were of course correct PNB, as ever. I was tongue in cheek. Also I discovered on the US Gun Appreciation Day! it sounds like it’s been a phenomenal success.
•In Raleigh, NC, three people, including a sheriff’s deputy, were wounded when a shotgun gun accidentally discharged at the show’s safety check-in booth.
•In Medina, OH, a gun dealer was checking out a semi-automatic pistol he had just bought shooting an old friend if his in the leg and arm.
•In Indianapolis, IN, a man was loading .45 he had just purchased when ha accidentally shot himself in the hand.
•In Tupelo, MI, an accidental discharge grazed one man and injured a four year-old child with bullet fragments after hitting a wall.
•In Marietta, GA, an man was shot in the ankle by a friend who was showing it to a third person.
Stay Safe PNB.
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