Archive for the פיצה Category

THERE IS A REASON WHY GEORGE BUSH PAINTS HIMSELF IN THE NUDE

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Artists Rights, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Captain America, closeted gay Republican misogynists, космическая девушка, Fashion Forward, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, lächerlich, love, Money and Power, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of Khan, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, פיצה, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on February 12, 2013 by paulboylan

aasmokie

So I am sitting on the couch in my family room watching my son watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when I comment on the recent news articles revealing that former POTUS George Herbert Walker Bush is an accomplished painter with a penchant for painting himself in the nude.

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Opening Of New U.S. Embassy

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“You mean he stood there looking at himself in a mirror?” My son asked.

“Yes, I suppose he did,” I responded.

After a short silence my son opined:

“Well, that makes sense.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Okay, let’s say you are a former conservative Republican President who likes to paint nudes,” my son says.

“Okay,” I respond. “let’s say that.”

“Well, then your possibilities are limited,” my son concludes.

“How so?” I ask.

“Have you seen Barbara Bush?” my son asks.

“His wife?”

“Yes.”

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Barbara-Bush

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“Oh,” I said, granting the point.

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UPDATE:

I found out later that it is was recently revealed that it is George Bush the Younger (the one who started two long wars but didn’t pay for them and very nearly brought down the global economy), not George Bush the Elder (the one who scoffed at his critics’ complaints that he lacked foresight by referring to it as “that vision thing”) who painted and presumably still paints himself nude.

I didn’t inform my son of my error.  I value any exercise in critical thinking and, based on even invalid data his conclusion was admirable.

And it is very likely that the younger Bush paints himself nude because his daddy did it, too, and the younger Bush is competing with him artistically.

The following photo is of a painting obtained by hackers of the younger Bush’s painting efforts. It is a bit creepy because it is clearly derived from a photograph, which means George has a collaborator who takes pictures of him in the nude:

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The elder Bush was a better president (he fought Gulf War I, neutralized Saddam Hussein without creating a quagmire the US could not exit from).  The odds are the elder Bush is a better painter.

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Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, bacon, bilim adamları, buffo, пицца, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, gülen yüz, health care, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, lächerlich, Money and Power, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, ученые, pork, public outrage over the waste of public money, Scarlett Johansson naked, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, urinary tract infections, مصارعه, Viva Mitt!!, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, פיצה, سكارليت جوهانسون on October 14, 2012 by paulboylan

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If you haven’t done so yet, visit http://www.marriedtothesea.com.  No matter what your lot in life is, Married to the Sea can only make it better.

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IT IS ALL OVER FOR OBAMA

Posted in American Decline, amusant, And now the snorting starts, buffo, dada, космическая девушка, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, gülen yüz, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, I think you are a social parasite but I want you to vote for me anyway, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Politics, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Viva Mitt!!, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, פיצה, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on October 12, 2012 by paulboylan

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An entire demographic of Obama supporters has switch its allegiance – and their votes.

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HEADLINE – ROMNEY PANDERS TO MAINLAND CHINESE FOR CAMPAIGN CASH

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Captain America, Cowboys and Aliens, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, космическая девушка, gülen yüz, Geopolitical Insults, good guys and bad guys, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, health care, I think you are a social parasite but I want you to vote for me anyway, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mad Men, Money and Power, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Occupy Mordor, photograph, Photography, Politics, Right Wing, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Travel, مصارعه, Viva Mitt!!, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, Wilhelm Reich, טילים, פיצה, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة with tags , , , , , , , on September 27, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE – After declaring China the “main enemy” of the United States and promising to start a trade war if elected, Mitt Romney announced plans to ask  Chinese nationals to contribute money to his campaign.

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“I don’t see anything inconsistent or hypocritical about this at all,” Romney said as he attempted to open a window in his private jet flying to Hong Kong to attend a fund raising dinner. “Darned thing is broken,” Romney complained when he failed to find a handle to “roll down” the jet window.

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“When Mitt was in charge of Bain Capital, he oversaw the export of thousands and thousands of American jobs to China,” said Romney Spokesman Trip Whiteman. “The least they can do is toss some cash at him in repayment,” Whiteman added.

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“I love the Chinese,” Romney said. “They are all the right height.  And their workers are grateful for their jobs, they don’t have health insurance, it is very, very difficult to escape poverty, and they like me – which is what I want for America,” Romney concluded.

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He has a vision.

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Most Americans Oppose Obama’s Health Care Reforms, but Likes What it Does

Posted in American Decline, Corruption, Crazy People, пицца, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, GOP, Headline, Headlines, health care, Human Sacrifice, ανόητο άτομα, lächerlich, Mad Men, Money and Power, Mordor, News, Politics, presidential candidate, Pycho-Social Trauma, Racism in America, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Science, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, transvaginal ultrasound sonogram, USA! USA! USA!, פיצה, سياسة policy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2012 by paulboylan

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No joke: it’s real -

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A Reuters/Ipsos poll showed on Sunday that most Americans oppose President Barack Obama’s healthcare reform even though they strongly support its provisions.

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Medicare is a government run health care program.

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This seems, well, sort of stupid, if not crazy, so People of Earth: Attention located an average American to interview and find out what is going on.

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The average American voter.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Thank you for speaking with me today to clear up how you, the average American voter, feels about President Obama’s reforms of the American medical care system.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  It’s simple, Paul.  Like most Americans, I vehemently oppose the President’s plan while strongly supporting the reforms within that plan.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Let me ask you a different question.  Do you like cheese?

AVERAGE AMERICAN: I love cheese.

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Loves cheese.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Do you like mozzarella?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  You bet. I love mozzarella.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Do you like tomato sauce?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  I sure do.

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Loves tomato sauce.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Do you like dough that can be baked into a crust?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  You mean like pizza crust?

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Yes. Like pizza crust.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  I can eat it all day.

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Likes pizza crust.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Great. Do you like mozzarella cheese pizza?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  No, I do not.

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Does not like cheese pizza.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Why not?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  Because I am sick and tired of the government shoving pizza down my throat.  And a black man made that pizza.  It doesn’t taste right. It doesn’t taste American.  It tastes Kenyan. I bet there is dog on that pizza.  I heard it on Fox News.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH: Perhaps your opposition has something to do with the spices used to prepare the pizza.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  I don’t believe in spices. Like global climate change.  Spices aren’t expressly described in the Bible or the U.S. Constitution, so spices don’t exist.  Especially garlic.

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Doesn’t believe in garlic.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Garlic doesn’t exist?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  Nope.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  I think there was some in the salad I ate for lunch.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  No there wasn’t.  Garlic doesn’t exist.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  But I ate some.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  No you didn’t.  Look, do you see the word “garlic” used in the Bible or the Constitution?

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Has never read the Bible or the Constitution, but believes in their infallibility.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:  No.  I don’t think the American Founding Fathers discussed garlic.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  Well, there you go. I proved it doesn’t exist.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  But I ate some.

AVERAGE AMERICAN: So?

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Solvitur ambulando.

AVERAGE AMERICAN: Huh?

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Doesn’t know that was Latin.

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PEOPLE OF EARTH:   Nothing. Thank you. I have no further questions.

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  Any time, Paul.  We’re about to sit down to dinner. Would you like to join us?

PEOPLE OF EARTH: What are you serving?

AVERAGE AMERICAN:  Mozzarella cheese on a baked crust with tomato sauce.  My favorite.

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Loves cheese and tomato sauce backed onto a bread-like crust, but hates pizza because he heard bad things about it on Fox News.

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Postscript:

Global climate change is causing rising sea levels that are causing the erosion of coastline in those American states with ocean borders.  The State of Virgina is one of them – the same state with a Republican majority intending to pass a law that requires any woman seeking an abortion to have ahtransvaginal ultrasound/prior to obtaining an abortion.

Virginia’s beaches are eroding, and there is a bill in the Virginia legislature that seeks funds to study how to best address the changing sea levels and their effect on Virginia’s Atlanatic coastline.  However, prominent Republicans refused to support the bill because they do not believe in global climate change or “changing sea levels,”  but the bill obtained their support when the bill’s author amended the bill to replace the phrase with “persistent flooding.”   http://hamptonroads.com/2012/06/lawmakers-avoid-buzzwords-climate-change-bills 

God bless America and save us from the dark madness that is sweeping across out once great nation.

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Is fascinated by shiny objects and collects string – AND he votes!


PICTURES FROM MY TELEVISION

Posted in おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, dada, скарлетт йоханссон, photograph, Photography, Pop Culture, Television, The Great State of Montana!, TV, פיצה, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون scarlett johansson on May 7, 2012 by paulboylan

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I love my iPhone, especially the camera.  It is easy to use and takes really good pictures.

So I tend to take a lot of pictures, and I take pictures of everything – even my television.

I don’t know how you watch television, but my television allows me to pause any program or movie showing on the screen.  So if I want to answer the phone, or get a beer, or any number of things, I pause the program, go do it, and then resume viewing when I am done.

My iPhone allows me to take photographs of the stilled image on the screen.  And I do because some of them appeal to me.

Here are some of the photos I’ve taken from my television over the last few months. If a person’s television viewing habits reveal anything about the person, then perhaps I am showing the world something I may regret.

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HEADLINE – Birth control pills get new labeling

Posted in And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, bilim adamları, buffo, пицца, gülen yüz, Getting it Right, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, health care, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mad Men, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, ученые, Paying Attention, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, What are you sick or something?, 滑稽, פיצה, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on April 11, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE, Indiana –  To address concerns with birth control pills that tests showed were ineffective/, Phizer said on Tuesday that all bottles containing birth control pills will include a sticker stating:

Warning: may not prevent pregnancy.

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When Pigs Fly

Posted in Ahmadinejad, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, bacon, Celebrity, Food, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, Joseph Bleckman, kluchtig, lächerlich, Michele Bachmann, morbidly obese homosexual tax cheats, Newt Gingrich, neşeli, смешной, Our animal friends, photograph, Photography, Politics, pork, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Vegemite, when pigs fly, 滑稽, פיצה, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار on February 17, 2012 by paulboylan

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HEADLINE – British Clarification on Implant Scandal Leaves Women Only More Confused

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Fashion Forward, Free Utilization Doctrine, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, health care, ανόητο άτομα, News, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, פיצה on January 8, 2012 by paulboylan

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LONDON — On Friday British government spokespersons made unintelligible statements about the government’s position on dangerous French breast implants.

“It is undeniably the case that these implants are made up of non-medical-grade silicone and therefore should not have been implanted in women in the first place,” British health secretary, Andrew Lansley, said in a statement, immediately adding: “In re yours of the 5th inth, yours to hand and beg to rep – brackets, that uhh… we have gone over the ground carefully, and we seem to believe, i.e., to, wit, e.g., in lieu, that uhh… despite all our precautionary measures which have been involved… uhh… we seem to believe that it is hardly necessary for us to proceed, unless we receive an ipso facto that is not negligable at this moment. Quote unquote in quotes. Uhh… hoping this finds you, I beg to remain as July 9th,” Lansley concluded.

His remarks did little to assuage the fears of about 40,000 other British women who unwittingly paid for the poor quality implants during cosmetic surgery in dozens of private clinics where the bulk of the implants here were done.

Responding to the announcement, which was supposed to clarify the government’s position on the growing breast-implant scandal, many women said they were more confused and frightened than ever.

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Source:  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/07/world/europe/british-clarification-on-implant-scandal-leaves-women-more-confused-than-ever.html

WONDERFUL NEWS!!!

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, космическая девушка, пицца, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Food, Get a job, Getting it Right, Kim Kardashian, News, ученые, Paying Attention, Photography, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Small Town America, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, טילים, פיצה on December 20, 2011 by paulboylan

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HEADLINE – Man With 100 Pound Scrotum Seeks Donations

Posted in And now the snorting starts, dada, космическая девушка, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, 스타게이트유니버스, News, Rotwang, The Wilhelm Scream, Weird Stuff, Wilhelm Reich, פיצה, سياسة on December 15, 2011 by paulboylan

Henry Spliff

MUNCIE, Indiana – A man famous for sporting a 100 pound scrotum (45.45 kg) has announced that he will be seeking donations for a wide-variety of charities all related to his environmental concerns.

“I care deeply about the earth on which we all live,” said Henry Spliff from his home in Reno, Nevada. “It is up to us to leave our planet in better shape than we found it.”

Friends of the Earth and the World Wildlife Fund welcome Mr. Spliff’s efforts on their behalf.

Source: http://www.searchtheearth.com/2011/10/18/man-with-100-pound-scrotum-seeks-donations/ 

My Gay Bananahead Nightmare

Posted in dada, космическая девушка, Hapax Legomenon, 스타게이트유니버스, ανόητο άτομα, ученые, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, טילים, פיצה, الجامعة العربية, سياسة on December 11, 2011 by paulboylan

 

I saw this, and can’t get it out of my head.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen anything so horrible.

 

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HEADLINE – Missing Dog Reunited With Family After 8 Years

Posted in Dogs, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Headline, Headlines, 스타게이트유니버스, News, ученые, Our animal friends, פיצה on December 4, 2011 by paulboylan

MUNCIE, Indiana – A dog named Rex was reunited with his family after being missing for almost 8 years.

Rex had been living a “double life” using an assumed identity in an attempt to hide from his human owners.

“I hate those bastards,” Rex said.

Source:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/04/missing-dog-reunited-with_n_1128036.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl1%7Csec3_lnk1%7C117596

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Kansas City

Posted in Family and Friends, Kansas City, Travel, פיצה on November 20, 2011 by paulboylan

I’ve never been here before.  I like it.  This is a city with complex personality, a haunted quality and unexpected sophistication.

Bread pudding flambe I got at at rib joint. Incredibly delicate and delicious.

Tonight: dinner with Murph and Trinity.

Looking forward to it.

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