Archive for the خنده Category

THERE IS A REASON WHY GEORGE BUSH PAINTS HIMSELF IN THE NUDE

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Artists Rights, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Captain America, closeted gay Republican misogynists, космическая девушка, Fashion Forward, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, lächerlich, love, Money and Power, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of Khan, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, פיצה, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on February 12, 2013 by paulboylan

aasmokie

So I am sitting on the couch in my family room watching my son watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when I comment on the recent news articles revealing that former POTUS George Herbert Walker Bush is an accomplished painter with a penchant for painting himself in the nude.

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Opening Of New U.S. Embassy

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“You mean he stood there looking at himself in a mirror?” My son asked.

“Yes, I suppose he did,” I responded.

After a short silence my son opined:

“Well, that makes sense.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Okay, let’s say you are a former conservative Republican President who likes to paint nudes,” my son says.

“Okay,” I respond. “let’s say that.”

“Well, then your possibilities are limited,” my son concludes.

“How so?” I ask.

“Have you seen Barbara Bush?” my son asks.

“His wife?”

“Yes.”

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Barbara-Bush

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“Oh,” I said, granting the point.

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UPDATE:

I found out later that it is was recently revealed that it is George Bush the Younger (the one who started two long wars but didn’t pay for them and very nearly brought down the global economy), not George Bush the Elder (the one who scoffed at his critics’ complaints that he lacked foresight by referring to it as “that vision thing”) who painted and presumably still paints himself nude.

I didn’t inform my son of my error.  I value any exercise in critical thinking and, based on even invalid data his conclusion was admirable.

And it is very likely that the younger Bush paints himself nude because his daddy did it, too, and the younger Bush is competing with him artistically.

The following photo is of a painting obtained by hackers of the younger Bush’s painting efforts. It is a bit creepy because it is clearly derived from a photograph, which means George has a collaborator who takes pictures of him in the nude:

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The elder Bush was a better president (he fought Gulf War I, neutralized Saddam Hussein without creating a quagmire the US could not exit from).  The odds are the elder Bush is a better painter.

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IT IS ALL OVER FOR OBAMA

Posted in American Decline, amusant, And now the snorting starts, buffo, dada, космическая девушка, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, gülen yüz, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, I think you are a social parasite but I want you to vote for me anyway, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Politics, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Viva Mitt!!, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, פיצה, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on October 12, 2012 by paulboylan

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An entire demographic of Obama supporters has switch its allegiance – and their votes.

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HEADLINE – DONALD TRUMP SAYS “VENGEANCE IS A CHRISTIAN VALUE”

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, buffo, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Legitimate Rape, love, Mad Men, Money and Power, Mordor, News, neşeli, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Politics, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Small Town America, The Matrix, The Second Coming, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Weird Stuff, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2012 by paulboylan

 

“Jesus wants me to take vengeance against my hair stylist.”

MUNCIE –   During a speech on Monday at the Lynchburg, Virginia Christian college, Liberty University, Donald Trump gave the assembled Christian students some advice: “Get even.”

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“A few of you may say my advice is anti-Christian. Wrong!” Trump said.

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A student pointed out that Trumps advice conflicts with Christ’s Sermon on the Mount recorded in chapters 5-7 of the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus tells his followers to reject the Old Testament rules on eye-for-an-eye justice and, if slapped, turn the other cheek rather than retaliate.

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 ”Don’t believe any of that malarky,” Trump responded.  ”Jesus was being misquoted by the liberal media.”

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The liberal media makes Jesus very, very angry.

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“Believe me, the central message of Christianity is “every man for himself” and “always kick a man when he’s down because there is no better time to do it,” Trump said.

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Trump, married three times, then advised the assembled students to get prenuptial agreements before they get married.

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“Jesus wasn’t married and I know why,” Trump said.  ”It is because they didn’t have prenuptial agreements in those days so if you got married you were screwed if you wanted to get out of it, especially if you had a lot of money and the woman seduced you because she wanted your money.  But Jesus avoided all of that by not getting married. I’m not saying he didn’t play the field. He just didn’t get married.  I am absolutely sure that, if Jesus had access to a prenuptial agreement, he would have been married. At least once.”

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Maybe more than once.

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The university has posted a video of Trump’s speech on its website, noting that Chancellor Falwell introduced Trump as ”one of the greatest visionaries of our time.”

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IS BROWN FACE AS OFFENSIVE AS BLACK FACE?

Posted in American Decline, amusant, Barry Goldwater, bilim adamları, buffo, Fashion Forward, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Pandering to the Latino Vote, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Politics, Pre Columbian Knock-Knock Jokes, Right Wing, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, totally creepy, Viva Mitt!!, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار on September 20, 2012 by paulboylan

Mitt Romney recently appeared on Univision – a Spanish language television station – in an attempt to appeal to latino voters. hPeople noticed something differentsabout how Romney looked before the Univision appearance and during.  See if you notice any difference:

Romney on September 16, 2012:

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Romney on September 17, 2012:

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Romney on September 18, 2012:

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Romney on September 19, 2012, appearing on Univision:

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I think Romney was drawing inspiration from former Mexican President Vincente Fox.

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“Mi pene es este ancho.”

The person who convinced Romney to rock the soul patch has a lot to answer for.

DEAR CANADA: SORRY ABOUT ALL THE STUPID PEOPLE

Posted in American Decline, amusant, And now the snorting starts, Antique surgical instruments, Barry Goldwater, buffo, closeted gay Republican misogynists, Cowboys and Aliens, dada, Early-onset dementia, GOP, greannmhar, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, health care, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mad Men, photograph, Photography, Politics, Rage Against the Machine, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Scarlett Johansson naked, Small Town America, snaaks, Stupid People, Tea Party, The River of Time, The Wrath of God, transvaginal ultrasound sonogram, Travel, urinary tract infections, USA! USA! USA!, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on June 29, 2012 by paulboylan

Dear Canada:

First of all, how is the weather?  Good I hope?  Global climate change is going to be really good for you.  As the U.S. heartland transforms into a vast desert, the wheat growing regions are moving north into Canada, making you into the bread basket of the world (like we used to be).  And don’t even get me started on how much money you are going to make when the Arctic Ocean ice cap melts, opening up direct shipping from Canada to Asia, not to mention the resources of the Arctic you will be well-positioned to exploit, like easy to get offshore oil and natural gas (you lucky stiffs!). I hear you already have plans to sell that oil to China, transporting it cheaply across the Arctic Ocean to Russia and then via pipeline or train to China. Hot damn (no pun intended)!

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And how is your population?  Growing?  Healthy?  Life expectancy better than your neighbors to the south?  Great.  Really good.

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I’m writing to apologize, in advance, for the mob of stupid people who are headed your way from the United States.  Here is what happened:  the United States Supreme Court has upheld President Obama’s attempt to create a national health care system like you have, like Europe has, and like the rest of the civilized world has.

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This has upset a lot of really stupid people.  They don’t want improved health care. In response to the Supreme Court’s decision, this group of really stupid people have vowed to leave the United States and emigrate to Canada.

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No. Seriously.  Seriously.  I’m not kidding.  I know I am a kidder, and we’ve shares some really good jokes, but this time I’m not joking. Look, here are some tweets from some of the stupid people headed your way:

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Yes, I know how funny that is. Yes, I know that Canada has a national health care system.  But I told you these are stupid people.  And they are on their way north to you.

THANK YOU, CANADA!

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Thank you for taking our idiots.

Consider it payback for Celine Dion, curling and that joke you call bacon.

Even though they are idiots, I think they are in for a big shock.

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Sincerely,

Paul

A SHORT CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Family and Friends, gülen yüz, greannmhar, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, music, neşeli, snaaks, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار with tags , on June 6, 2012 by paulboylan

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June 6, 2012, 8:55 AM:

My wife just walked into my office, affected a New Jersey accent, and said:

You know how they say you should be careful about what you wish for, well I wished to be frickin’ awesome, and it’s worked out pretty good for me.

And then she walked back into our bedroom to continue getting ready for work.

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AN UNFORTUNATE MISTRANSLATION

Posted in And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Embarrassing Butt-Shots, Fair Use, fetish, Food, Free Utilization Doctrine, gülen yüz, Getting it Right, greannmhar, health care, Internet Fun!, It's not what you think, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, Missile Defense, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, ученые, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Pop Culture, pork, rimshot wav download, Russia, snaaks, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on June 2, 2012 by paulboylan

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MY NEW AVATAR

Posted in Avatar, Dogs, gülen yüz, greannmhar, lächerlich, скарлетт йоханссон, Our animal friends, Uncategorized, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on May 31, 2012 by paulboylan

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I know exactly what that dog is thinking.
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HOW NEWS REALLY WORKS

Posted in American Decline, amusant, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Headline, Headlines, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Photography, Politics, snaaks, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار on May 29, 2012 by paulboylan

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MOVING ON WITH NO REGRETS

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, California Public Records Act, Fees on fees, Grim Fairy Tales, I am Shiva - the Destroyer of Worlds, multiplier, public outrage over the waste of public money, Research and Development, Small Town America, The Wrath of God, Your only solution is settlement - but you may not be smart enough to realize that., خنده on May 27, 2012 by paulboylan

Two events prompt this blog entry:

The first event is my need to travel to France – not to teach as I have done every year since 2005, but to withdraw my Euros from my Credit Lyonnais bank account, close the account (which I must do personally) and fly home.  These Euros were deposited into that account by the University of Poitiers  to compensate me for serving as an adjunct professor of law at University.

[I used this account to transact all of my business in Europe. Why pay the cost of converting Dollars to Euros?]

The second event involves an interesting and very unusual pattern of sudden Internet activity.  Since May 24th someone has been feverishly searching for websites using the following search terms:

Paul Nicholas Boylan Poitiers

“Paul Nicholas Boylan” Poitiers

Most, if not all, of these search attempts lead the person investigating me here,5here,/here,, heref(page 16),  here,/here,/here1and here.y

I cannot, of course, be 100% sure why there is this sudden interest in my professorship, but I have a fairly good idea.  On May 24th I filed and served a motion for an award of attorney’s fees and costs in Mecum v. City of Lindsay,Tulare County Superior Court Case No. 11-243461. In that case, I represented Steven Mecum, a guy who is concerned that the City of Lindsay - a small town in Central California where Steven lives - is spending public money improperly. 

In summary, here is what happened:  Steven asked for access to records dealing with areas of City spending he wanted to examine.  The City gave him some of these records, but not all of them. So he sued to get what was being withheld.

Ordinarily, these sorts of disputes get resolved very, very fast. Usually, opposing counsel work together and come to an agreement as to what can be released and what should remain confidential.  The reason for this cooperation is because the California Public Records Act (CPRA) is a “fee shifting” statute.  The CPRA states that, if a judge orders a governmental agency to turn over records or information the agency is withholding, then the agency must pay the petitioner’s attorney’s fees and costs.

So an agency faces a bigger and bigger potential liability for fees and costs the longer a dispute lasts, and it is this risk that prompts most agencies to work to resolve CPRA disputes as fast as possible.

That didn’t happen in Mecum v. City of Lindsay.  The City, through its attorney, deployed what is known as ae“scorched-earth”/defense strategy, which means the City refused to so much as discuss an amicable resolution and fought tooth and nail to win.

So instead of a fast resolution, this case was a long, slow slog ending in a hearing where the trial judge ordered the City to turn over documents and information to the petitioner, Steven Mecum. And this meant that the City must pay me what I would have charged Steven if I were billing him on an hourly basis.

As these things go, the arguments are fairly straight forward:  Steven asked for records; the City said no; Steven sued to get them; the Court agreed with Steven and ordered the City to give Steven more records; this makes Steven the prevailing party; and Steven now asks the Court to pay his fees and costs to me.

So what does all of this have to do with my professorship?  Everything.  In addition to my “base fee” (hours multiplied by my hourly rate) I am asking for what is known as a “multiplier.”  As the Memorandum shows,  although the Court has no discretion to deny the motion, under some circumstances, the Court has the discretion to increase the fee award by multiplying the base fee by whatever number the Court feels is just.  One of the factors justifying a multiplier is harsh litigation tactics that caused the case to be needlessly complex, time consuming and expensive.

That’s what happened here.  Defense counsel was very, very aggressive – so aggressive that I was forced to choose between teaching in France and staying home just in case defense counsel attempted to manipulate my unavailability against my client.

Here is what happened:  I notified defense counsel that I would be unavailable during the entire month of March 2012 because I was scheduled to teach in France during that time.  Knowing this, defense counsel arranged for a briefing schedule that would require me to respond to her arguments against my client’s petition while I was away from my office in France teaching.  I decided to withdraw from my teaching commitment that year and stay home to be ready for whatever happened in the case rather than be far away and less able to respond to actions opposing counsel might take knowing I was overseas and less able to respond.

It turned out to be a good idea.  Although I had arrangements for opposing counsel to serve papers on me via email, she nevertheless served her Opposition Brief on me via ordinary mail service, which meant that if I was teaching  I would not have received that brief until I returned from France, which would have provide me only a few days to respond.

But because I stayed home (and didn’t tell her) my client’s position wasn’t disadvantaged by my absence and I was able to draft one of the best Reply Briefs I’ve ever drafted in a CPRA case and, because of it, the Court agreed with Steven’s position and ordered the City to give  him access to what amounted to approximately 7,100 pages of records.

But staying home also meant I lost my professorship. And I told this to the Court as part of my argument justifying application of a multiplier, hopefully increasing the eventual fee award.

And this is why someone is frantically investigating my teaching history. Someone is looking for anything that might contradict my story, throw question on my claims, and hopefully minimize my client’s claim for fees and costs.

It isn’t going to work, but they are welcomed to try. 

I am very sad.  I loved teaching those kids, and the University provided me with students from all over the world. I had a chance to influence future policy makers. I had the chance to make a real difference.

I don’t blame the University. And, even though I cherished my teaching position, I have few regrets.  When confronted with a choice between my duties as an attorney and my desires to travel and teach, I chose my client over my personal desires. I did what I had to do to best serve the interests of my client.  That’s my job as an attorney. 

And what the hell, really?  I can still call myself “professor” and I am now free to seek out a position with another university if I really want to do that.

But I sure will miss those kids.  So bright.  So eager to learn what little I had to teach.

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Au revoir, mes amis. Tu vas me manquer.


Now it is time to go to France and close out my bank account, certainly before the Euro drops any further in relation to its value compared to the US dollar.

And to you out there researching my history – take your time; do it right; find out exactly who I am and what I can do.  What you find will not reassure you.

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THE CURLY SHUFFLE

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, Art, buffo, greannmhar, IN MEMORIAM, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Paying Attention, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, snaaks, مصارعه, مضحکہ خیز, خنده on May 19, 2012 by paulboylan

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Those knuckle-heads are beginning to scuffle.

They push, and they shove, doing the Curly Shuffle…

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HEADLINE – Chicago prepares for NATO summit

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Cinema, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Movies, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Occupy Mordor, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Politics, Rage Against the Machine, snaaks, Stupid People, Totally Gay Mutual Defense Treaty Organizations, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on May 17, 2012 by paulboylan

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MUNCIE, Indiana –  Chicago police are preparing as best they can for protests against the pending summit of the National Association of Theater Owners (NATO) that begins tomorrow.

“NATO sucks!” shouted Jason Rabinowitz, a protester protesting NATO policy.

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“We don’t understand,” said Raj Hempstead, President of NATO.  ”We know the price of popcorn is ridiculously high, but does it really warrant rock throwing and people lighting themselves on fire in protest?”

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 ”Look, we will lower the price.  We’ll lower the price of all movie theater concessions. Like Milk Duds.  We will lower the price of Milk Duds.  Just please stop yelling,” Hempstead said.

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PICTURES FROM MY TELEVISION

Posted in おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, dada, скарлетт йоханссон, photograph, Photography, Pop Culture, Television, The Great State of Montana!, TV, פיצה, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون scarlett johansson on May 7, 2012 by paulboylan

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I love my iPhone, especially the camera.  It is easy to use and takes really good pictures.

So I tend to take a lot of pictures, and I take pictures of everything – even my television.

I don’t know how you watch television, but my television allows me to pause any program or movie showing on the screen.  So if I want to answer the phone, or get a beer, or any number of things, I pause the program, go do it, and then resume viewing when I am done.

My iPhone allows me to take photographs of the stilled image on the screen.  And I do because some of them appeal to me.

Here are some of the photos I’ve taken from my television over the last few months. If a person’s television viewing habits reveal anything about the person, then perhaps I am showing the world something I may regret.

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AWFUL FORTUNE

Posted in amusant, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, космическая девушка, Food, greannmhar, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, скарлетт йоханссон, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on May 5, 2012 by paulboylan

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I don’t know about you, but I expect a little more from my fortune cookies.

For example:

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WHAT IS ART?

Posted in 3D, amusant, And now the snorting starts, Art, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, dada, Droit de Suite, Droit Moral, Fair Use, greannmhar, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, Monsters, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, snaaks, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on May 3, 2012 by paulboylan


I often ask the question “what is art?”  A day doesn’t go by that I don’t ask myself that question over and over again.  

I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and have a large list of questions I ask my self over and over again, primarily because I can’t help myself: that is the nature of OCD – those with the disorder cannot help doing things over and over and over again.  For example, in addition to asking myself “what is art?” I also habitually ask myself “why is a second as long as it  is?”  Seriously. Why?  Why is a second as long as it is?  Who decided?

But I digress. In the same manner that I am fascinated with the history of seemingly arbitrary units of measurement, I am also fascinated by the question of what makes art different from stuff that isn’t art.

After long and obsessive (if not compulsive) pondering, I have concluded that art communicates.  Art has something to say. If it doesn’t have anything to say, then it isn’t art.

Art is a conversation that is multidimensional.  It is a conversation between the artist and viewer.  The conversation can be intellectual.

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It can be emotional.

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And the art people choose to put up in their homes communicates volumes about the person who acquired that art.

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Allow me to attempt to illustrate my thesis with an example drawn from my own life.  Below is a painting my wife purchased for our home.

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Beautiful, isn’t it? This painting is an extremely good example of my wife’s personality.  When I see it on the wall I smile and think of her.

Below is a painting that I recently purchased because it spoke to me. When I a saw it I knew I had to have it.  I wanted to look up and see it in my home.  And, I suspect that my decision to purchase this painting says a great deal about me.

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I can imagine your reaction. You think I’m kidding.  You’ve read my blog and think this is some kind of joke.  It isn’t a joke.  I bought that painting.  Here it it up on my family room wall:

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I just love it. When I look at it I smile because of the multidimensional message it communicates.

The most amazing thing, however, about my new painting is that my wife agreed to let me put it up at all.  I think she did it because the pleasure it provides me is greater than the deep revulsion she feels when she looks at it.

I’ve decided to push my luck.  I’ve found a new painting that I simply must have. I must own it and must place it on a wall within my home.  I love it because it speaks directly to my appreciation for those intrepid 19th Century artists who left civilization to travel through the America West to chronicle the Native American, or “the Noble Savage” as those artists called them.

I found a painting of a Noble Savage – sitting proud and noble – on his trusty Uniclown.

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I simply must own it.

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PROOF DOGS CAN READ

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Dogs, космическая девушка, Food, gülen yüz, greannmhar, Hapax Legomenon, 재미, αστείος, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Our animal friends, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Small Town America, snaaks, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, خنده, خنده دار on May 1, 2012 by paulboylan

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TOUGH LOVE

Posted in amusant, अजीब, buffo, gülen yüz, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), greannmhar, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, love, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, pork, snaaks, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار on April 29, 2012 by paulboylan

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Who has two thumbs and wants to free Syria?

Posted in amusant, Arab Spring, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Barry Goldwater, buffo, космическая девушка, gülen yüz, good guys and bad guys, greannmhar, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, kluchtig, lächerlich, Libya, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, photograph, Photography, Politics, Rage Against the Machine, Scarlett Johansson naked, snaaks, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, מצחיק, الجامعة العربية, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on April 19, 2012 by paulboylan

This guy.

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Click on photo to enlarge. This guy is really intent on freeing Syria.

HEADLINE – Obama ate a dog

Posted in American Decline, amusant, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Bigotry in America, buffo, Dogs, Frankenstein, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Grim Fairy Tales, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Michele Bachmann Crazy, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Our animal friends, photograph, Photography, Politics, pork, presidential candidate, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Small Town America, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, USA! USA! USA!, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار on April 18, 2012 by paulboylan

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 I take full responsibility and credit for this rumor./ 

 

UPDATE:

That dog had it coming, man.

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HEADLINE – Good news for penguin lovers

Posted in おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, bacon, buffo, пицца, Food, gülen yüz, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, love, News, neşeli, смешной, snaaks, Sports, The Great State of Montana!, Travel, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون scarlett johansson with tags , , , , on April 15, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE, Indiana - Due to the harsh antarctic climate, coming up with an accurate number of Emperor Penguins has proved to be extremely difficult. However, a new study using satellite imagery has done what may be the most accurate count of the large flightless birds yet done, pegging their population at around 595,000 birds — nearly twice the previous estimate.

This is good news for people who love penguin./“Tonight I am making Emperor Penguin tacos for dinner, and I was feeling a little guilty about it,” said Marge Ridgewood, housewife from Cleveland, Ohio. “But now that I know there are lots of the little buggers, I don’t feel so bad,” Ridgewood added.

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HEADLINE – Birth control pills get new labeling

Posted in And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, bilim adamları, buffo, пицца, gülen yüz, Getting it Right, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, health care, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mad Men, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, ученые, Paying Attention, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, What are you sick or something?, 滑稽, פיצה, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on April 11, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE, Indiana –  To address concerns with birth control pills that tests showed were ineffective/, Phizer said on Tuesday that all bottles containing birth control pills will include a sticker stating:

Warning: may not prevent pregnancy.

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REAL HEADLINES

Posted in おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, пицца, gülen yüz, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on April 8, 2012 by paulboylan

Must have been a slow news day.

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THREE STOOGES (a fair and balanced comparison)

Posted in And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Barry Goldwater, buffo, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Early-onset dementia, GOP, Internet Fun!, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, lächerlich, Money and Power, Mordor, Newt Gingrich, neşeli, смешной, Our animal friends, Politics, presidential candidate, Pycho-Social Trauma, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Small Town America, snaaks, Tea Party, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, USA! USA! USA!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on March 7, 2012 by paulboylan

Here are three stooges:

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Moe, Curly and Larry.  

Moe is their leader. It is generally agreed-upon by pundits and intellectuals alike that Moe is head stooge and calls the shots for the other stooges.

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Here are three more stooges:

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This is not a balanced group of stooges. They appear to be three Larries.  Maybe a  Curly or two. One may aspire to be Shemp.  But who is their leader? Who calls the shots?  At best – and I do mean best – Santorum is Moe (bossy), Romney is Larry (easily confused) and Gingrich is Curly (a fat goof). At best.

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I just love the word “stooge.”

Stooge.

Ha!

THE DOW JONES TANGO

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, GOP, greannmhar, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, neşeli, смешной, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, presidential candidate, Pycho-Social Trauma, Right Wing, snaaks, Tea Party, The Great State of Montana!, The Second Coming, USA! USA! USA!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Wilhelm Reich, 滑稽, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on February 24, 2012 by paulboylan

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Over the last few weeks I’ve been watching the Dow Jones Industrial Average playing with the 13000 point barrier.  It is like a weird flirtation.  The total gets close, and then pulls back. It shoots up just over the line, and then drops back under.  And this is what I see and hear in the back of my mind as I watch this macro economic dance – two lovers, in the dark, approaching climax….

INVESTORS:  I want to shoot this thing up to 14000!  15000!  Yeah, baby, yeah! Give me all you got!

DJIA: No! No! We can’t!

INVESTORS:  Why?  Why not?  I am just ready to explode, baby, you got me so hot to invest! I want to pour all of my money into you, every last coin!

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DJIA:  No, we can’t!  We just can’t! We have to wait!

INVESTORS:  Why wait?? The time is right!  The economy is improving, the housing market is coming back, unemployment is at a four year low! Consumer confidence is surging!

DJIA:  Surging???

INVESTORS:  Surging, I say! It is time to crank this thing up to 11!!

DJIA:  13!

INVESTORS:  Yeah, baby, yeah! 13! 14! 15! The Sky’s the limit! There is so much pent up demand! So much money tied up in savings accounts struggling to get out! It has to get out! Out!!!

DJIA: I know!  I know!  I want it too! But we can’t!!

INVESTORS:  In the name of Adam Smith, why? Why can’t we do this??

DJIA:  Because if we do, Barak Obama will get reelected!!!

INVESTORS:  Just stop thinking about Obama!  Think of money!!! Lots and lots of money!!!!

DJIA:  Yes!  Oh, yes!

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INVESTORS:  Come on, baby, take us over the top!  Let me push you past 13000!!!

DJIA:  I want to, but I just can’t stop thinking about Obama!

INVESTORS:  Damn it!

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Rick Santorum says: “GAY MARRIAGE WILL LEAD TO BESTIALITY”

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Bigotry in America, Early-onset dementia, fairness, GOP, 재미, ανόητο άτομα, lächerlich, Michele Bachmann, morbidly obese homosexual tax cheats, Newt Gingrich, смешной, Our animal friends, Politics, Pycho-Social Trauma, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Small Town America, The Great State of Montana!, transvaginal ultrasound sonogram, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه sex wrestling clips, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, What are you sick or something?, 滑稽, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on February 24, 2012 by paulboylan

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HEADLINE – ESPN apologizes for racist headline

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Basketball, buffo, Headline, Headlines, Internet Fun!, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, Newt Gingrich, смешной, photograph, Photography, Politics, Racism in America, snaaks, Sports, USA! USA! USA!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on February 18, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE, Indiana –  ESPN has officially apologized for posting on the internet what is widely perceived as a “racist” headline after the New York Knicks lost to the New Orleans Hornets, snapping a winning streak lead by Jeremy Lin, a previously obscure basketball player of Chinese ancestry.

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ESPN revealed that the headline was chosen as being less offensive than the original headline “Gook Loses.

“We apologize, especially to Mr. Lin,” ESPN’s statement says. “His accomplishments are a source of great pride to the Asian-American community, including the two Asian-American employees at ESPN,” said ESPN Spokesperson, Trip Henderson. “But, in ESPN’s defense, Lin is a chink,” Henderson added. “So I guess accuracy in reporting is now frowned upon.”

In 1979, ESPN sportscaster Allen Smythee stated “man, that nigger sure can play basketball,” while providing live commentary about Earvin “Magic” Johnson, then Rookie of the Year.

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 ESPN has not yet apologized for that incident.

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PUTIN ON THE RITZ

Posted in And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Celebrity, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, пицца, Fashion Forward, Frankenstein, Geopolitical Insults, greannmhar, Horrible Coincidences, Internet Fun!, 재미, αστείος, lächerlich, neşeli, смешной, photograph, Politics, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Putin on the Ritz, rimshot wav download, Russia, ruthless dictator knock-knock jokes, Scarlett Johansson naked, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on February 18, 2012 by paulboylan

I know I shouldn’t, but I just can’t help myself.

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click on image to activate GIF

When Pigs Fly

Posted in Ahmadinejad, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, bacon, Celebrity, Food, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, Joseph Bleckman, kluchtig, lächerlich, Michele Bachmann, morbidly obese homosexual tax cheats, Newt Gingrich, neşeli, смешной, Our animal friends, photograph, Photography, Politics, pork, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Vegemite, when pigs fly, 滑稽, פיצה, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار on February 17, 2012 by paulboylan

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WEBSITE OF THE WEEK – Married to the Sea

Posted in American Decline, amusant, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Early-onset dementia, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, greannmhar, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα stupid people, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mad Men, Newt Gingrich, neşeli, смешной, Our animal friends, Politics, presidential candidate, Religion and Politics, Right Wing, Science, snaaks, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, USA! USA! USA!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, What are you sick or something?, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون scarlett johansson, سياسة policy on February 16, 2012 by paulboylan

For the second time, Married to the Sea/is my website of the week.

Married to the Sea/takes public domain drawings and cartoons and pairs them with funny captions.  This is the most recent one they’ve posted:

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Click on Image to Enlarge

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Married to the Sea/features a new drawing every day and has a large archive of past posting.  I highly recommend it to you.

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مصارعه سكس

Posted in fetish, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, What are you sick or something?, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on February 12, 2012 by paulboylan

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يجب عليك أن تخجل من نفسك. ترك الانترنت وقضاء بعض الوقت مع عائلتك.

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