Archive for the Mordor Category

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH Judge Jean Boyd

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Crime and Punishment, Grim Fairy Tales, Money and Power, Mordor, News, The Wrath of God, USA! USA! USA!, سياسة on December 14, 2013 by paulboylan

Jeanboyd

You will not believe what this judge did.

Judge Jean Boyd is a Republican judge who has presided over the Texas 323rd Family District Court since 1995. She is now at the center of world-wide attention because she sentenced 16-year-old named Ethan Couch to probation and entry into a private, exclusive $450,000  Southern California coastal rehab program after Couch – while over 3 times the legal limit of alcohol intoxication from drinking stolen beer and under the influence of Valium – drove an automobile and caused the deaths of four people and injured 10 others.   Couch’s defense was that he was suffering from “affluenza” – a disease that is suffered by rich people who behave irresponsibly because they believe that their position of wealth and privilege will exempt them from the consequences of their bad acts. In this frankly fictitious interview, Judge Boyd explains her reasoning.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Judge Boyd, thank you for agreeing to speak with us today.

JUDGE JEAN BOYD:  My pleasure. I look forward to every opportunity to get the word out about the evils of Obamacare and how wrong it is, morally and economically, to give anything to poor people because all it will do is encourage them to be poor.

POE:  We aren’t going to talk about Obamacare today, Judge.

BOYD:  For heavens sake, why not? Other than the liberal conspiracy to prevent crazy people from exercising their 2nd Amendment rights to buy automatic weapons, Obamacare is the most important issue our nation faces. When desperate poor people no longer worry about being able to afford to get sick, then they are less likely to tolerate slave wages and poor working conditions.  That will mean higher wages, higher prices and the end of our Christian nation as we know it.

the ideal employee

POE:  Although that is undoubtedly true, we are here today to talk about your decision to sentence Ethan Couch to probation after killing four people because he was suffering from “affluenza.”

BOYD: Yes. I did that based on the testimony of an expert.

POE:  You mean Dr. Gary Miller, a psychologist the Couch family hired,  who testified that Couch was the victim of his parents wealth and overindulgence, and that his family felt that money would solve any problem?

Dr. Gary Miller

Dr. Gary Miller

BOYD:  That’s the one. Did I mention that he is an expert?  That poor boy needs rehabilitation, not incarceration.

POE: And when you say “rehabilitation” you are referring to the private Newport Beach rehabilitation facility in Souther California which costs $450,000 a year that Couch’s extremely wealthy father said he would pay for?

NA_emailgraphic

BOYD:  Absolutely.  That was parts  of my judgment.  It is important to send someone suffering from an illness to a place where they are comfortable around people who are familiar.

POE:  And, in this case, Couch needs a luxurious environment by the beach surrounded by rich people?

rich kids suffering from affluenza

BOYD:  I’m glad you understand.  Are you wealthy?

POE:  No.

BOYD: Do you have any other questions?

POE:  Yes. Is it your opinion that being wealthy is a defense against manslaughter?

BOYD:  Not wealth itself.  But the affects of being wealthy can lead to an illness known as “affluenza” and it is that mental disability that makes the wealthy individual not responsible for his or her actions. How can wealthy, white people be held responsible for anything  when they suffer from affluenza?

POE:  So Affluenza is a disease caused by extreme wealth that is a mitigating factor – an excuse – justifying probation instead of jail or prison.

BOYD:  Exactly.

beware wealthy drivers copy

POE:  Why isn’t extreme poverty a disease that justifies probation instead of incarceration?

MILLION-BLACKS-LIVE-BELOW-POVERTY-LINE-AMERICA-large570

BOYD: Poverty is not a disease. It is a punishment from God for being lazy and shiftless. Wealthy people, such as myself, are provided with wealth and privilege by God as a reward for hard work.  If poor people were willing to work hard, they would be wealthy, too.

POE:  So affluenza is the result of a gift from God.

BOYD:  Yes!  Good point!  I suspect that, maybe, affluenza is part of God’s plan, which is another reason to go soft on wealthy people who commit crimes.

POE:  You sentenced Ethan Couch to spend time in an exclusive spa -

BOYD:  An expensive rehabilitation facility and spa.

Newport_Academy_690758_i0

An actual photo from the Newport Academy.

.

newport-academy-4

An actual photo from the Newport Academy.

POE:  Ethan Couch’s disease is arrogance encouraged by wealth and privilege.

BOYD:  Yes. Exactly.

.

rich-white-men-with-guns-s.

POE:  Why isn’t there a counterpart for anger encouraged by poverty and disadvantage?

the broken wall, the burning roof and tower copy

BOYD:  That makes no sense.

POE:  Let me give you an example.  About a year ago you sentenced a 14 year old African-American boy to 10 years in prison for accidentally killing a man.

BOYD:  I sure did.  That little monster punched that man, who fell and hit his head on the pavement and eventually died. That black boy killed a person.

POE:  Ethan Couch had a history of drug and alcohol use and drunk driving. He stole two cases of beer, got drunk, went driving and killed four people,  injuring ten others – some catastrophically.  Sixteen year old Sergio Molina survived the accident but is now paralyzed for the rest of his life.

BOYD:  Yes, but Ethan Couch suffers from a disease.

POE:  Why wasn’t that 14 year old black boy suffering from DCS?

BOYD:  DCS?

POE:  Disadvantaged Citizen Syndrome.

BOYD:  You really aren’t listening.  Ethan Couch’s wealth and privilege caused him to have the emotional and intellectual capacity of a twelve year old boy.  It would be wrong to punish him with something so extreme as time in prison.

POE:  The State of Texas has no problem executing retarded black men with a mental age of 12 or even younger.

BOYD:  I am offended by the term “retarded.”

POE: Really?  That offends you?  Letting a rich kid get away with killing four people because he is rich and emotionally immature while executing mentally challenged black men who’s only difference from the rich white kid is that they are poor and black – that doesn’t offend you?

BOYD:  That hasn’t happened. You liberals are always making things up. Name one time that has happened.

POE:  Mavin Wilson.  A 54 year old black guy with with IQ of 61. Executed in Texas on August 7, 2012.

BOYD:  He wasn’t retarded.

POE:  Texas law states that an IQ of 70 or less qualifies as retarded.

BOYD: You’re missing the point here. Ethan Couch’s  family raised him to believe that his wealth and race bought privilege.

POE:  Looks like they were right.

BOYD:   That poor child was raised in an environment with no  link between his behavior and consequences.

POE:  So sending him to an expensive, luxury rehab center on the beach in Southern California thousands of miles away from his parents will teach him how not to feel privileged because he is white and wealthy?  Your defense for his bad acts is that he was ignored and had money thrown at him, but you’re sending him away and spending a lot of money on him. How is this going to rehabilitate him? How will that cure him of the parental neglect and over privilege that you say caused him to get drunk and kill four people?   Is ten years of probation “better” than any amount of prison time?  Do you think it will be effective in altering his behavior?  Isn’t your judgment in his favor just more proof that the American justice system is designed by politicians paid by the rich to protect the rich at the expense of everyone else?

JusticeForSale

JUDGE BOYD:  This interview is over.

POE:  Oh no it isn’t.  It has just begun.  What you did wasn’t justice. It was an anthem to the power of privilege.  You have proven that American justice isn’t fair and isn’t equal. You’ve shown that justice in America is for sale at a price that only the wealthy can afford.   You will never get a good night’s sleep again.  What you did has outraged republicans and democrats, liberals and conservatives alike.  We are united in our condemnation of your abominable decision to let this kid go with a slap on the wrist and a sentence sending him to a luxury resort paid for by his rich father.  We will not let you forget or pretend you behaved in any way as a judge is expected to behave.

The American people know the game is rigged in favor of rich people.  We know the rich post bail and the poor go to jail.  And we tolerate a certain measure of that kind of corruption. But what you did went too far.  You opened up the sore and showed the rot infesting the body politic. Your career as a judge is over.  You just don’t know it yet.

.

disgruntled-republican

.

.

UPDATE:  Judge Boyd is now expected to retire, but a petition is circulating demanding that Texas Governor Perry remove Judge Boyd from the bench immediately.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2524108/Judge-let-spoiled-rich-teen-killed-DUI-previously-boy-aged-fourteen-prison-TEN-YEARS.html#ixzz2nZTRuP17

The boy who has talked to us said, ‘We were bored.”

Posted in American Decline, Australia, Brave New World, Grim Fairy Tales, Mordor, pandemic on August 21, 2013 by paulboylan

The boy who has talked to us said, ‘We were bored and didn’t have anything to do, so we decided to kill somebody,'” say police about the brutal murder of a collegiate baseball player in Oklahoma.

I feel the need to apologize for this.   I am more than horrified; I am ashamed.  I know so many people who are afraid to come and visit my country.  They think Americans are armed sociopaths.  They fear that, if they walk our streets – my streets – that someone could be watching them, could plot and carry out their murder.

Exactly what happened to Christopher Lane.

His father said “To try to understand it is a short way to insanity.”

I wish I didn’t understand it.  I wish what happened to Christopher is so unthinkable that one would risk insanity to contemplate it.  But I know those young murderers.  I understand them and why they decided to kill another human being to alleviate their boredom.  I think they are everywhere around me.  I know what created them – the poor parenting, the negligent and intentionally substandard schooling.  I know a culture of violence, a culture that discourages empathy and sympathy – the very qualities that make premeditated murder unlikely. I know that the fifteen year old boy who killed  Christopher used a gun, and if that boy did not have a gun, Christopher would be alive.

I don’t know what to say other than that I am sorry for all of this and horrified that I am helpless to do anything to fix what is broken.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

HEADLINE – 2 ACCIDENTALLY SHOT AT GUN SHOW

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Cowboys and Aliens, Crazy People, Early-onset dementia, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, GOP, Headline, Headlines, I think you are a social parasite but I want you to vote for me anyway, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Money and Power, Monsters, Mordor, Mysterious Mysteries, News, pandemic, photograph, Photography, Politics, Pycho-Social Trauma, Small Town America, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, سكارليت جوهانسون with tags , , , , on January 20, 2013 by paulboylan

2 hurt in accidental shooting_edited-2

Bought a gun at a gun show without a background check.

WACO, Texas – 2 people were injured at a gun show, completely baffling gun rights activists.

.

Confused redneck

Inbred redneck gun owner contemplating the causes of gun violence.

.

“It is a complete mystery to me how on earth these two people could be accidentally shot a gun show,” said Skip Henderson, gun enthusiast, misogynist, homophobe, racist and sociopath.

.

Skip Anderson can buy this gun at a gun show without a background check.

Skip Anderson can buy this gun at a gun show without a background check.

.

At gun shows Americans – or anyone – can purchase automatic weapons without any background check being conducted.

.

“Hello, my name is Joe, and that is my real name.  It is not a made up name.  I am Joe.  And I am interested in purchasing your AK-47 in a cash transaction.  Oooo! are those high-capacity   ammunition magazine clips I see in that bag?”

“Hello, my name is Joe, and that is my real name. It is not a made up name. I am Joe. And I am interested in purchasing your AK-47 in a cash transaction. Oooo! Are those high-capacity ammunition magazine clips I see in that bag?”

.

 “I bet Obama snuck in here and shot those 2 people to make gun owners look bad so that he and his Negro Army can come and take away our guns” Henderson said.

.

Sneaky Obama

.

“Guns are not responsible for these injuries and it is completely irresponsible to imply that guns have any connection to gun violence whatsoever anywhere in the world especially at a gun show,”  said Tripp Wightman, a gun rights activist,”doomsday prepper” and paranoid schizophrenic who buys guns at gun shows without any background checks and makes methane from his own excrement.

.

Shooter 1

Mentally unfit to purchase a gun, but passed a background check because no court had ever declared him mentally unfit. So, like hundreds of thousands of people who should not ever own a gun, he was allowed to purchase one. And then he went to a political rally.

 >

“I will shoot anyone in the head multiple times using a semi automatic weapon with a fucking huge ammo clip,” Wightman said.  “I’m sorry, I lost my train of thought.  Oh yeah, the point I am trying to make is to make it very clear that I will shoot and kill anyone who argues that gun violence – the epidemic of gun violence that is sweeping across our nation and tearing apart the fabric of our society.  Hell, it happened again. I totally lost my train of thought.”

.

He purchased two hand guns, a shot gun, and a semi automatic rifle and passed all three background checks. No court had ever declared him mentally unfit. Consequently he was not in the federal database that is used to perform background checks of people buying guns.
After purchasing these guns, he went to the cinema.

.

“Where was I?  Oh yeah, I will brutally murder anyone who so much as implies that guns have anything to do with gun violence or attempts in any way to improve mental health care or background checks to prevent someone like me from buying all the guns I want.  And then I will mutilate their bodies.  And if possible, I will sell the body parts – including fluids – to raise money so I can buy more guns.  That is how much I love America.  That is how much I love the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution that protects my rights to own and use weapons that are designed to kill people. Lots and lots of people.  Lots and lots of smelly, anti-American sinners who are building socialist agnostic, atheist, and Catholic robots that steal my luggage, violate my rights and infringe on my personal freedoms,”  said Wightman.

.

Shooter to

He bought this gun at a gun show without a background check. And now he is watching your children walk to school.

.

“No one loves America more than me.  Or guns,” said Wightman.  “Did I tell you that I make methane from my own poop?  I do it to stop the government from reading my thoughts.”

“The only option I will consider to remedy what is arguably an epidemic of gun related deaths in the United States is  what the NRA proposed, and that is posting armed guards in every school in the country.  But I do not want any taxpayer money to pay for it.  I want these armed guards to be volunteers.”

.

Eager to volunteer.

Eager to volunteer.

.

 “In other words, people like me,” Wightman concluded before adjusting the aluminum foil cap covering his head.

aluminum-foil-hat

foil helmet

.

GunOwnership

.

girl with gun

toddler suicide vest 1

toddler with gun 1

palestinian kids with guns

Gun-owner-Mike-from-Dalla-006

jesus with guns1

gun1

Gun owners are willing to kill in order to maintain unrestrained access to assault weapons and the lack of background checks for those buying automatic weapons.

.

UPDATE: subsequent to the posting of this story,  5 additional people were accidentally shot at gun shows in the United States.

.

HEADLINE – DONALD TRUMP SAYS “VENGEANCE IS A CHRISTIAN VALUE”

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, buffo, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, love, Mad Men, Money and Power, Mordor, News, neşeli, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Politics, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Religion and Politics, Small Town America, The Matrix, The Second Coming, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Weird Stuff, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2012 by paulboylan

 

“Jesus wants me to take vengeance against my hair stylist.”

MUNCIE –   During a speech on Monday at the Lynchburg, Virginia Christian college, Liberty University, Donald Trump gave the assembled Christian students some advice: “Get even.”

.

.

“A few of you may say my advice is anti-Christian. Wrong!” Trump said.

.

.

A student pointed out that Trumps advice conflicts with Christ’s Sermon on the Mount recorded in chapters 5-7 of the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus tells his followers to reject the Old Testament rules on eye-for-an-eye justice and, if slapped, turn the other cheek rather than retaliate.

.

.

 “Don’t believe any of that malarky,” Trump responded.  “Jesus was being misquoted by the liberal media.”

.

The liberal media makes Jesus very, very angry.

.

“Believe me, the central message of Christianity is “every man for himself” and “always kick a man when he’s down because there is no better time to do it,” Trump said.

.

.

Trump, married three times, then advised the assembled students to get prenuptial agreements before they get married.

.

.

“Jesus wasn’t married and I know why,” Trump said.  “It is because they didn’t have prenuptial agreements in those days so if you got married you were screwed if you wanted to get out of it, especially if you had a lot of money and the woman seduced you because she wanted your money.  But Jesus avoided all of that by not getting married. I’m not saying he didn’t play the field. He just didn’t get married.  I am absolutely sure that, if Jesus had access to a prenuptial agreement, he would have been married. At least once.”

.

Maybe more than once.

.

The university has posted a video of Trump’s speech on its website, noting that Chancellor Falwell introduced Trump as ”one of the greatest visionaries of our time.”

.

.

 

Scared to Death

Posted in Mordor, ruthless dictator knock-knock jokes, Saron, South Korea, West Korea on September 10, 2012 by paulboylan

If you have any doubts about how awful it must be to live in North Korea, take a look at the photograph posted below.  It shows the current absolute Stalinist leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, posing with a North Korean family.

.

They clearly cannot contain their terror.

.

.

A Flagrant Violation of Copyright

Posted in Fair Use, Fiction, good guys and bad guys, Money and Power, Monsters, Mordor, Parody, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, presidential candidate, Pycho-Social Trauma, Religion and Politics, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, مصارعه on August 22, 2012 by paulboylan

.

video_subtitles.html

.

In the original, didn’t the idealistic good guys all die in the end?

.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH WILLIAM TODD AKIN

Posted in American Decline, GOP, Headline, Headlines, Money and Power, Mordor, News, Paying Attention, Politics, Religion and Politics, The Wrath of God on August 19, 2012 by paulboylan

U.S. Congressman William Todd Akin

[William Todd Akin is the U.S. Representative for Missouri’s 2nd congressional district, and has served in congress since 2001. He is a member of the Republican Party. He is a “pro life” politician, opposing abortion for any reason or under any circumstances other than “forceable rape.”  Akin recently stated that it is “really rare” for women who are the victims of “legitimate rape”to become pregnant. In this frankly fictitious interview, Congressman Akin explains his argument.]

PEOPLE OF EARTH: Congressman Akin, thank you for agreeing to speak with us today.

WILLIAM TODD AKIN: My pleasure, Paul.

POE: Let’s cut to the chase: the Internet is abuzz with reports that you recently stated that women who are raped don’t get pregnant.

AKIN: Well, that’s not true, Paul. I did not say that women who are raped never get pregnant. I said that, when women are legitimately raped, they tend not to get pregnant because the female body has ways to shut that whole thing down.

POE:  Sort of a “Jedi uterus trick?”

.

“These aren’t the rapists you are looking for…”

.

AKIN:  Conservative Republicans prefer to call it “God’s little protective shield.”

.

.

POE: But this shield only works in cases of  “legitimate rape?”

AKIN:  Exactly.

POE: When is a rape illegitimate?

AKIN:  An illegitimate rape happens when a woman asks for it, Paul. For instance, if she wears a sexy dress, or puts on lipstick, or leaves the house. When that happens, the woman who claims she was raped bears some responsibility for what happened, and that means she wanted it, so it isn’t really a rape, is it?

.

.

POE: Let me see if I understand your argument. Are you saying that, if a woman gets pregnant, she wasn’t raped?

AKIN: Yep. That’s what I’m saying. When a woman is raped, her body magically rejects the sperm of the rapist, preventing pregnancy. But if she wanted it or enjoys the experience, then she will get pregnant. *

POE:  So you are saying that if a woman gets pregnant, her pregnancy is proof she wasn’t raped?

AKIN:  Exactly.  Yes.  Praise God.

POE:  What about the idea that no means no?

AKIN:  Well, son, take my word for it – sometimes no means yes.  Heck, if a young fella couldn’t have any fun unless a woman gives him permission, then our race would die out.  And if she gets pregnant then that is proof she changed her mind, isn’t it?

.

.

POE: I think that’s one of the most antediluvian, backward, repugnant things I have ever heard in my life – and I’ve heard a lot of antediluvian, backward repugnant things.

AKIN: I didn’t understand a lot of those words, Paul, so I interpret what you said as disrespecting my Christian values.  Jesus hated women, Paul.  It’s right there in the Bible.  I believe that a woman’s place is in the home, and if she leaves her home – especially without a male escort – then she has no one but herself to blame for what happens next.

.

.

AKIN: And even if she didn’t ask for it, and she gets pregnant, it would be wrong to punish the child for the mistake she made.

POE:  The mistake of going outside without a man to protect her?

AKIN:  Exactly.

.

.

POE: You’re a candidate for the United States Senate, right?

AKIN: Yep.

POE: How are you doing?

AKIN: I’m way ahead of my Democrat opponent in the polls.

POE: And the people of Missouri know your views on legitimate and illegitimate rape?

AKIN: They sure do. **

POE: Then God help us all.

AKIN: No, Paul. God is not going to help all of us.  He is going to help conservative, God fearing Republicans like me regain control of our government, bring back the America we want, and wipe the liberal communist socialist slime off of our great nation by putting women, minorities, homosexuals, liberals and miscegenists back in their place.  Oh yeah, and He is going to help us get rid of all those immigrants, too.  Mud people, Paul. I’m talking about mud people.

.

.

*  The “legitimate/illegitimate” rape distinction is virtually identical to the medieval English belief that a woman could not get pregnant unless she enjoyed having sex with a man.  More specifically:

Misunderstandings of medieval medical men abound on the topic of pregnancy, and by extension, rape. Inspired by the Classical physician Galen, medieval medicine taught that women could only get pregnant if they had derived pleasure from the sex—and not mere pleasure, either; in order to conceive a woman would have to reach orgasm. There may be a small kernel of logic to this assumption, considering that medieval medicine understood women’s bodies in large part only though comparison to the bodies of men. In most cases, a man can only impregnate a woman if he ejaculates, which by definition means orgasm. Centuries later, science and psychology is still trying to understand the female orgasm. But one thing modern science can say without any doubt is that there is no link between a woman’s orgasm and her ability to become pregnant. The medieval belief that this link existed was the cause of great distress for many medieval Englishwomen who were victims of rape. If a woman can only conceive a child after having experienced orgasm, then all pregnant women enjoyed the sex that got them pregnant…and therefore the sex could not have been rape.

See  http://cold-wombs-and-fatal-motherhood-womens-sexual-safety

Social conservatives who use the GOP as a platform to correct the errors of social programs consider this exact argument as scientific evidence that a woman who is actually and truly raped cannot get pregnant.  A social conservative pundit, Peter Cornswalled, summarizes the argument as follows:

It is not possible for a woman who is actually raped to become pregnant. A woman who becomes pregnant must have had a moment of issue, meaning she enjoyed what happened. Regardless of how the encounter began, by achieving a moment of issue the woman has consented to all that went before. The act of becoming pregnant is, due to the biology with which God gifted us, proof that the woman was not raped.

See http://petercornswalled.blogspot.com/2012/03/myth-of-rape-pregnancies.html

Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan co-sponsored a bill in congress outlawing all forms of abortion except for pregnancies resulting from “forceable rape.”  The “forceable rape” versus “non forceable rape” distinction mirrors the medieval concept described above – i.e., Ryan and Akin believe that rape is an awful, violent experience that no woman could take pleasure from – which means a raped woman cannot get pregnant. But a woman who gets pregnant after sex must have enjoyed the experience and therefore wasn’t raped.

** CNNPolitics reports: “Akin was one of the first members of Congress to join the Tea Party Caucus in 2010 and has easily won re-election in recent years. The lawmaker has raised a notable $2.2 million this cycle, as of July 18.”

.

She’ll be put back in her place real soon.

.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 44 other followers