EVEN MORE PROOF THAT MITT ROMNEY SHOULD NOT BE PRESIDENT

Today Mitt Romney decided to double down on his disastrous criticism  of Obama’s response to the assassination of the United States Ambassador to Libya.  At a rally in North Carolina, he began to blather about Obama’s shameful apology for the American values of defaming religious leaders when a heckler distracted him.  The Huffington Post reports:

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And this guy is a few electoral votes away from becoming President of the United States.

Wonderful.  Just wonderful.

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This is the look on Mitt’s face the very moment the heckler spoke. No fooling. This is how he reacted.

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Is imitation really the sincerest form of flattery?

The answer to this question presupposes that imitation exists.  In my case, I’m not really sure.

Two of you have informed me of your suspicions that someone out there in the cyber universe is copying my style, if not my content.  I was directed to what appears to be a new blog entitledhTwisted-Digit.  The site professes to be a “free speech” zone.

Some of what is there is very similar to what I post – at least in style.  But it really isn’t possible for me or anyone to know if the author(s) at Twisted-Digit visited here and said “hmm, this looks cool. Let’s copy it.”  There are literally millions of blogs out there.  I think they all suffer from similarity in one degree or another.  The limits of the medium dictate the form content takes.

And even if someone did come here and decide to copy what I am doing here, so what?  I probably copied someone else when I was figuring out how to do what I do here.

So I’m not sure what to do about this “imitation” – if someone out there is actually imitating what I do.  And if they are, perhaps it is really best to see it as a compliment of some kind.

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DRAGON

I have just installed Dragon software for dictation. This is the 1st time I have ever used this kind of program. I bought Dragon because I am experiencing pain in my right arm that prevents me from typing. This pain has something to do with inflammation of my tendons.   I don’t understand a lot of it. All I know is that the drugs my doctors have given me and the physical therapy that they inflicted upon me when the drugs didn’t work aren’t helping much. If anything, it is getting worse.

If I can’t type, I can’t work.  And if I can’t work, I can’t live.  So I bought this program, installed it on my computer, and the possibility seem pretty good.

 

 

A SHORT CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE

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Last night in a taxi on our way back from dinner, my wife said to me:

“You know those guys who are charming when they are intoxicated?  That isn’t you.”

I will wait a day or so before I ask what exactly I did or said that I don’t remember.  I hope it wasn’t any ethnic slurs.

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Sean Hannity George Zimmerman Interview: Fox News Host Gets First Sitdown With Trayvon Martin Shooter

No, I don’t think it is important to you, and you are free to be proud of whatever you have, or lack.

My country is infested with a plague of people who champion ignorance, are suspicious of education, and rely on jingoism and dogma over reason – and I think you just proved my point.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Downeaster Alexa

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The American Century was defined by optimism. And we Americans sold that optimism to a world hungry to feel optimism either directly or vicariously through us.  We sold our optimism through art – film, music, literature, clothing.  Everything and anything that touched us was left cleaner, healthier, younger and stronger.  

Or so it seemed to the world because that is the impression we sold, and everyone from the movie moguls to the guy selling black market Levis in a Moscow alley during the Soviet era got rich selling that impression because there was, at its heart, some truth to it – or at least enough truth to allow the willing suspension of disbelief.

The American Century is over, and a nation facing massive unemployment, declining literacy, declining life expectancy, increasing infant morality, increasing racism, bigotry and blind religious dogma snuffing out reason and the Life of the Mind cannot sell optimism any longer.

I wonder how the world will embrace Recession/Depression Rock.  I wonder if there will be any money in it?

Downeaseter Alexa

Well I’m on the Downeaster Alexa
And I’m cruising through Block Island Sound
I have charted a course to the Vineyard
But tonight I am Nantucket bound

We took on diesel back in Montauk yesterday
And left this morning from the bell in Gardiner’s Bay
Like all the locals here I’ve had to sell my home
Too proud to leave I worked my fingers to the bone

So I could own my Downeaster Alexa
And I go where the ocean is deep
There are giants out there in the canyons
And a good captain can’t fall asleep

I’ve got bills to pay and children who need clothes
I know there’s fish out there but where God only knows
They say these waters aren’t what they used to be
But I’ve got people back on land who count on me

So if you see my Downeaster Alexa
And if you work with the rod and the reel
Tell my wife I am trawling Atlantis
And I still have my hands on the wheel

Now I drive my Downeaster Alexa
More and more miles from shore every year
Since they tell me I can’t sell no stripers
And there’s no luck in swordfishing here.

I was a Bayman like my father was before
Can’t make a living as a Bayman anymore
There ain’t much future for a man who works the sea
There ain’t no island left for Islanders like me.

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But there is a silver lining to every cloud, and in this case America’s loss is Australia’s gain as someone (maybe even Americans) steps into the void left by the American Decline to sell Australian optimism to a world still willing to pay for just the scent of it.  I predict an explosion of media selling Australian images, sounds and objects dusted with Australian optimism.

Brothers in Arms

(Songwriters: Knopfler, Mark)

These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be

Some day you’ll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you’ll no longer burn
To be brothers in arms

Through these fields of destruction
Baptisms of fire
I’ve witnessed your suffering
As the battles raged higher

And though we were hurt so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

There’s so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the sun’s gone to hell
And the moon’s riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die

But it’s written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
We’re fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

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MY NEW AVATAR

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I know exactly what that dog is thinking.
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THE NEW SOCCER MOMS

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The American political world is abuzz withhnewsnthat, when Mitt Romney was attending a private preparatory school in Michigan during the time his father was Governor, he lead a mob who chased down a gay boy and held him down while Romney personally used a pair of scissors to cut off the gay boy’s hair.

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Romney first denied the story. When it was corroborated, he said he didn’t remember it happening.  When even more witnesses came forward to support the story, Romney said that he doesn’t remember this particular incident, but that he participated in lots of pranks and engaged in youthful hijinks when he was in high school, he is sorry if he offended anyone, and if it happened he didn’t know the boy was gay.

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The Original Prankster

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Romney supporters have attempted to brush the news story off as a “hit piece” designed to distract the American electorate away from the issue of Obama’s failed presidency and substitute it with the issue of gay rights.  They may be right.  It is an amazing coincidence that, right after Obama publicly declares his support for same sex marriage, it is revealed that Romney was a gay-basher in high school.

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However, despite the very best efforts of the Romney camp to refocus on economic issues, this story just won’t go away.  It is increasingly resonating with the electorate in a way no one could have anticipated. The reason for this resonance is simple: either Romney really doesn’t remember the event or he is lying about it, and either option is troubling to the American voter.

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Let’s not sugarcoat the incident. What Romney did wasn’t a “prank” and it wasn’t “high jinks” (as Romney himself tries to describe it).  Leading a pack of boys that hunted down, subdued and then forcibly cut off the hair of another boy who was “different” with a pair of scissors was an assault, a battery and a hate crime.  This is a graphic example of bullying in its most pure, most evil and most damaging sense. The fact that Romney lead the mob and actually committed the act makes it worse. 

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Imagine it happening to you.  Imagine you running, scared, being knocked down by a gang of boys, held down so you cannot move, while one of them sits on top of your chest and cuts off your hair “in large clumps” as one of the witnesses to the incident describes.  Imagine yelling for help and crying as you look up into the face of a young Mitt Romney grinning down at you and most likely laughing.

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 I’ve imagined this and it is terrifying.  I’ve been bullied when I was younger, but nothing this bad happened to me.

Let’s contrast Romney’s attempt to laugh off the incident with something from Obama’s past that Romney supporters point to as evidence that, if Romney was a bully, that Obama was a bigger bully.  In Obama’s autobiography Dreams of my Father he describes an event from his early childhood when he pushed a girl. Here is what he writes:

 Before my arrival she had been the only black person in our grade. She was plump and dark and didn’t seem to have many friends.  I ran up to Coretta and gave her a slight shove.  She staggered back and looked up at me, but still said nothing.  ‘Leave me alone,’ I shouted again.  And suddenly Coretta was running, faster and faster until she disappeared from sight.  Appreciative laughs rose around me.  For the rest of the afternoon I was haunted by the look on Coretta’s face.

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Any moron can compare what Romney did with what Obama did and see the differences between the two events.  Obama isn’t denying what he did, excusing it or attempting to trivialize it. He is “owning it” and is ashamed.

Romney, on the other hand, attempted to hide it, when discovered tried to deny it, when proven tried to trivialize it as a simple prank not worthy of even remembering.

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This was an event worthy of remembering, so Romney is probably lying when he says he doesn’t remember, and if he is lying, well, Americans don’t like liars. 

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We joke about politicians lying, but we get upset when they get caught doing it. Scooter Libby wasn’t prosecuted for revealing the name of a covert CIA operative; he was prosecuted for lying about doing it. Bill Clinton wasn’t impeached because he had sex with a chubby intern – he was impeached because he lied about it.  If he had come clean when he was caught the odds are the American public would have forgiven him. 

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So Romney is lying about not remembering that he chased down a gay student, held him down and cut off his hair displays a character flaw that troubles the average American voter and only serves to reinforce the uneasy feeling they have about him.  The Democrats say he is willing to change his position and “flip-flop” to get elected, and Romney’s lying about what he remembers only reinforced that perception.

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The average American voter, on the other hand, does not believe the same thing about Obama. Sure, right wing lunatics shout, scream and froth at the mouth about Obama’s duplicity, but the average person doesn’t see it. They view Obama as a basically honesty guy, and his “owning up” to his own bullying incidents reinforce that favorable view – and this means that undecided voters are now more likely to choose Obama over Romney in November.

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But what if Romney really doesn’t remember such a graphic and horrible bullying event that he himself perpetrated?  If that is true, then it is even more troubling than lying about it.

Some bullying experts say that Romney may actually not remember what he did because bullies often lack empathy. They don’t feel any of the pain they are causing, so in their minds the individual acts of bullying really are trivial and not worth remembering.

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Let’s review: Romney did it; he did the horrible thing described above. He was a bully. If he doesn’t remember it is because, at the time, he lacked empathy.

And this is the problem. Lack of empathy is one of the signs of psychopathy.

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Please control your outrage. I am not accusing Romney of being a psychopath in the popular sense – i.e., an insane killer.

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I am, however, suggesting that these recent events place into sharp focus many aspects of Romney’s personality that have troubled millions of Americans, especially conservative Americans.  And the reason why is that Romney may very well be, in a clinical, non dangerous sense, a high functioning emotional/interpersonal psychopath.

Psychopaths possess a general lack of empathy, and this includes deficiencies in comprehension and appreciation of others’ experiences and motivations, and lack of tolerance of differing perspectives.   Emotional/interpersonal psychopaths (as differentiated from socially deviant psychopaths) are often glib and superficial, egocentric and grandiose, lack remorse or guilt, and have shallow emotions. h[1]8  They display a lack empathy with no anxiety along with a predisposition to tell people what they want to hear. h[2]9 

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This describes Mitt Romney. When people complain that he is “wooden” and “boring” they are complaining about his lack of emotions.  When he says the wrong thing or “puts his foot in his mouth” he is being glib and superficial. His regular “flip flopping” is a manifestation of his predisposition to telling people what they want to hear.  He is clearly egocentric and his plans for the nation are undeniably grandiose. When people complain that he is “robotic” they are observing that he never shows any signs of anxiety.  A big complaint about Romney is that he is distant and not in touch with the common person – i.e., he has deficiencies in comprehension and appreciation of others’ experiences and motivations.

The bullying event and his reaction to the public learning about it provide the final pieces for a diagnosis:  he cut off that boy’s hair because it was dyed blond and draped over one eye, causing Romney to openly and loudly complaint that it “isn’t right; he can’t do that” which means that Romney was motivated to organize and lead a lynch mob and to assault and batter that boy because of Romney’s lack of tolerance of different perspectives. Romney cannot remember the event because of his lack of empathy.

A lot of politicians, especially those on the extreme right wing of the political spectrum, are emotional/interpersonal psychopaths. Michelle Bachmann and Newt Gingrich certainly fit the description.

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Romney does, too.  We’ve all felt it, wondered about it, asked ourselves why we cannot support Romney and are still reluctant to do so.

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We are troubled by the inescapable fact that Romney is either lying about remembering his bullying history, or he actually doesn’t remember, and we don’t know which is worse.

Finally, the story about the boy Romney chased down and molested resonates with a brand new demographic:  those who were bullied in school and kept their silence.  They hate bullies, hate their excuses, hate the privilege that keeps bullies safe from any consequences that should result from openly expressed cruelty and sadism.

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You know these victims. They are short. They are fat. They are unattractive. They are weak. They are powerless.  They are poor. They are gay. They are “different.”

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They are Legion, and they all hate Romney.

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Bulling Victims are the new Soccer Moms.  They are a demographic that cuts across social, economic, regional and political boundaries.  And they all know what happened. They all know that Romney lead a lynch mob of rich boys who chased down a gay kid and cut off his hair for expressing  his individuality and difference.  They marked him and humiliated him in a way that neither the victim nor the bullies can ever forget.

And they are going to be the swing vote that gives Obama a second term as President of the United States.

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MEMORIES

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I just found this photo in long forgotten file within my computer:

I took it in 1984.  I was in a bar located in a bad part of Paris. I was really, really drunk, and I saw this really pretty girl. So I went up to her and told her I wanted to take a photo of her with her hands over her face.

“Pour quoi? ” she asked.

I distinctly remember her asking that, but I don’t remember what I said in response. I seem to recall it wasn’t very polite.

Years later I photoshopped it into what you see now.

Can’t say I wasted my youth, eh?

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SO I WAS WATCHING AMC’S MAD MEN SEASON PREMIER

… and Don and Megan Daper were quarreling.  The night before, it was Don’s birthday, and Megan threw him a surprise party.

Big mistake.  Don hates surprises and hates to be the center of attention – and he let his wife know how he felt.

Which made Megan really mad. So she leaves work early, and when Don finds out, he leave early too.

And then this happened:

DAY:  DRAPER LIVING ROOM

Don comes home and finds Megan in her robe, clearly unhappy. The house is a mess from the party the night before.

DON

What happened to the girl (the cleaning lady)?

MEGAN

I sent her home.

DON

What are you doing?

MEGAN

I’m cleaning up. I don’t want to get sweaty.

DON

Like that?

MEGAN

Don’t you look at me.

DON

I’m talking to you.

MEGAN

I’m cleaning up.

DON

Really.

MEGAN

Stop looking at me. You aren’t allowed to look at me.

DON

You should put some clothes on.

MEGAN

I said stop it.

MEGAN

I don’t want you.  You don’t get to have this.  Go sit over there. All you get to do is watch.

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BEST... PUNISHMENT... EVAR!!!

Yeah, baby, yeah! Clean my house in your underwear while I watch!

I am going to be SO sorry for whatever I did.

Wait! Wait a second. I need to get a beer.

And some chips.

Do you mind if I play some music?

If I take some pictures?

I promise not to show them to anyone.

Do we have any chips?

WALKING DEAD – FINALE, SEASON 2

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OMFG

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THE COMING AMERICAN RELIGIOUS WAR

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I consider myself a Republican, conservative Christian man of faith. The problem is that I am Greek Orthodox, which the vast majority of the GOP base does not recognize as being Christian.

I cherish my freedoms, including the freedom to worship the Almighty the way I want. I will be damned if anyone is going to use the political process to impress their religious views upon me – and that is exactly what thehNew Republican Party is hell-bent on doing./

At it’s heart, this conflict is about the same things that caused and fueled the European religious wars of past centuries as well as every Jihadi’s fervor.  This conflict is about power and hate – in particular, the power to hurt those you hate.

The New Republican Party hates women.  Allow me to rephrase that – it hates independent, educated, thinking women who work outside of the home. Let’s call them modern women. And the reason why they hate these women is because their social, intellectual, economic and sexual independence violates a myopic interpretation of antiquated religious doctrine that has nothing to do with the central message that Jesus came to us to teach.

The New Republican Party is waging a war on modern women, and they have corrupted Jesus to do it.  They want to force women out of the job market, out of public life, out of graduate school and back into the four walls of the male dominated homes where ancient Semitic women were imprisoned and enslaved.

The revolutionary message central to Jesus’ teachings – and the reason the political system of his day murdered him – is charity, freedom and love.  This American crusade against women is about selfishness, control and hate.

And, to get the power to hurt the women they hate, these American Taliban have taken over and corrupted the GOP.  They support insurance coverage for Viagra to foster men having sex, but they are dead-set against insurance coverage for contraception or the use of tax dollars to pay for an abortion.

And who pays the ultimate price for this draconian scheme?  Women.  Like a male chimpanzee, a man has recreational sex and then walks away.  The women pays the price for that mutual decision by having no choice but to carry that embryo to term and then raise that child by herself.  She cannot work. She cannot go to school. She cannot participate in any meaningful way in the political process.  She is back where she belongs.

And what is the New Republican Party’s solution to this horrible conundrum?  Just ask Rick Santorum. He will tell you with absolute certainty that his solution is not just correct, but pleases God.  His solution is, essentially, to outlaw sex for any other purpose than procreation.  If Santorum, and the millions of right wing Americans who support him, get their way, the power of government can and should be used to make sure that every single time two people have sex they had better be prepared to have a child, and if they don’t want a baby, then they simply better not have any sex.

This is only one example of what the New Republican Party wants to do to America.  They want to use the power of government to force each and every one of us to live lives no different than the Puritan’s lived in Salem back in the 1600’s.  They pick and choose among the ideals of our Founding Fathers, agreeing with the freedom to bear arms but disagreeing with the separation of church and state.  They want our every day lives, what we do in the privacy of our own homes, to be regulated, to be dominated, by their perverted view of Christian values.

They are masters at self-deception and outright lying.  They try to minimize what they are doing by calling it “social issues.”  When the world found out that the Virginia legislature – dominated by right wing religious fanatics – was passing a bill that would force every woman who wants an abortion to first get a big stick shoved up their vaginas, the outcry was so powerful that those responsible for that repulsive law scurried around like the cockroaches that they are and revised the law.  And the governor of Virginia expressed his disappointment that Virginia’s consideration of a “social issue” would get such a negative reaction.

One person’s social issue is another person’s freedom.  By legislating social issues, the New Republican party is trying to take away everyone else’s freedoms.

Our founding fathers were personally aware of the wreckage the European religious wars caused.  For thirty years, what is now Germany was the battlefield for protestant armies fighting catholic armies. Thirty years.  Our founders decided to spare the people of the new nation they were creating that same pain.  To do it, they manufactured, for the first time in world history, a nation where people could worship God any way they wanted, so long as that worship didn’t mix with political power.

But that separation of church and state our founders created no longer exists.  Santorum – who could actually be elected our next president – actually states publically that there should be no separation of church and state.

The result is going to be the very war the Founding Fathers sought to avoid.  But what the hell. As Tom Petty sang, everybody’s had to fight to be free.

I am prepared to fight to keep these people out of my bedroom and out of my wife’s vagina.  What are you prepared to do?

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BEYOND THE GRAVE – Interview with Ned Kelly

Famed “Bush Ranger” Ned Kelly returns from the dead to participate in a frankly fictitious interview where he reveals the issues he cares about most.

PEOPLE OF EARTH: Mr. Kelly –

NED KELLY:  Call me Ned, cobber.

POE: Okay. Ned. It is a true pleasure and a real thrill to be speaking with you today.  I don’t mind saying that you are one of my all time biggest heroes.

KELLY: (Laughs, phlegm rattling in his bronchia, followed by a small cough) Hero? You don’t know anything about me, do you?

POE:  Actually, I know quite a lot about your life.

KELLY: Don’t come the raw prawn with me. You ain’t even Australian.

POE:  True, but I’ve spent time drinking heavily with Australians.

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KELLY: Oh, okay, that explains it, then.

POE:   Ned, on 28 June 1880, in Glenrowan –

KELLY:  I don’t want to talk about that.

POE:  What? What else is there to talk about?  That’s when –

KELLY:  I know what happened. I don’t want to talk about it.

POE: But the shoot out, the armour you made and wore, it is legendary.

POE: It was possibly the most important moment of your –

KELLY:  Yeah, yeah. I’m sick and tired of hearing about it and I don’t want to discuss it.

POE:  Well, then what do you want to talk about?

KELLY:  I want to talk about the film.

POE:  What film?

KELLY: The one with Mick Jagger.

Mick Jager

POE: Ah… eh… what?

KELLY: I want to talk about that awful film where Mick Jagger played me.

POE:  What about it?

KELLY:  Awful film. Jagger was terrible.

POE:  Yeah, okay, so?

KELLY:  Jagger was nothing like me.

KELLY:  Know what I want? I want that movie made again, with a different cast.

POE:  Do you have anyone in mind?

KELLY:  As a matter of fact, I do. I want Daniel Craig to play the role of Ned Kelly.

POE:  Daniel Craig?

KELLY:  Or Johnny Depp.

POE:  Johnny Depp?

KELLY:  Yeah. Did you see him in Ed Wood?  Incredible performance.  Me and my mates were shocked he wasn’t nominated for the Academy Award. Fucking tour de force.

POE:  Mr. Kelly –

KELLY: Or a Golden Globe, although, between you and me, I suspect that show isn’t really on the up and up.  I think the fix is in, if you know what I mean.

POE:  Thank you so much for –

KELLY:  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Ricky Gervais.  That munter is comedy gold, he is.

POE:  I thank Ned Kelly for spending quality time with us.

KELLY:  That was quality time?

POE:  Next time, my guest will be Mary Watson, and I will finally get to ask her what animal she would be if she could be any animal at all.

Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded

Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed

Everybody knows that the war is over

Everybody knows that the good guys lost

Everybody knows the fight is fixed

the poor stay poor and the rich get rich

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows.

Everybody knows that the boat is sinking

Everybody knows that the captain lied

Everybody’s got this broken feeling

Like their Momma or there dog just died

Everybody’s hands are in their pockets

Everybody wants a box of chocolates

and a long stem rose

Everybody knows.

Everybody knows that its now or never

Everybody knows that its me or you

Everybody knows that you live forever

When you had a line or two

Everybody knows the deal is rotten

Old black Joe still pickin’ cotton

for ribbons and bows

Everybody knows you love me baby

Everybody knows that you really do

Everybody knows that you been faithful

Give or take a night or two

Everybody knows you been discrete

So many people you had to meet

without your clothes

Everybody knows.

HEADLINE – Man Discovers Massive Lung Tumor After Florida Motel Shooting

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MUNCIE, Indiana – A man in Tarpon Springs, Florida, chanced upon an enormous lung tumor after avoiding being shot at the motel where he was staying as a guest.

“It’s the darndest thing I’ve ever experienced,” said Tim Macolvey, of Billings Montana, after discovering the giant tumor.

“I heard this here gunshot, and I hit the ground because, you know, I didn’t want to get shot, and there in front of me was this huge pink thing,” Macolvey recalled. “It didn’t seem to belong to no one, so I took it,” he explained.

Macolvey’s find turned out to be the largest lung tumor ever discovered, and is now on display in the Pensacola  Museum of Disease and Pestilence.

Source:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/22/man-shot-discovers-tumor_n_1166062.html

CHRISTMAS IN MY MIND

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So?

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You should be so lucky as to even remotely share my subjective reality.

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HEADLINE – Poll shows GOP voters still looking for answers

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MUNCIE,  Indiana – A recent poll shows that an overwhelming number of voters who identify themselves as Republican are looking for answers.

“What is the meaning of life?” asks Linda Henderson, a stock broker in Omaha, Nebraska. “I mean, why are we here, really?”

Linda Henderson

“What is the nature of reality?” asks Jeb Smith, an unemployed Kentucky turd farmer. “Are we experiencing an objective reality, or is this all a subjective illusion?” Smith wonders.

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Jeb Smith

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“Why do black people complain so much?” asks Marilyn Davenport, GOP official in Orange County, California.

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Marilyn Davenport

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“Those people elected a negro to be their president, so racism is no longer a problem, so why are all those monkeys still complaining?” Davenport asks.

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Davenport gained national notoriety when she distributed a photograph depicting President Obama as a chimpanzee.

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Yep, this is the photo she distributed. But she insists she isn't racist.

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“Assassinate the fucken nigger and his monkey children,” advised Jules Manson, a Tea Party founder.

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Yep, that's what he said. About the President. But he denied being racist.

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“Although it is true that the GOP has opposed every single initiative President Obama has supported – including ideas that the GOP once proposed – and although it is also true that no one has ever done this to any other sitting president, it is utterly untrue that we are doing this because of his race and it is equally untrue that we are doing all we can to make sure he doesn’t succeed in order to send a clear and unequivocal message that it will never, ever, be allowed to happen again, and that we are willing to let the country burn to the ground to stop it,” said John Boehner, leader of the Republican Caucus in the US House of Representatives.

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Source:  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57345824-503544/poll-shows-gop-voters-still-looking-for-answers/

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Nobody Loves the Red Skull

Hello, I am the Red Skull. Welcome to my Lair.

I have everything.  I have evil minions.

I have weapons.

I have evil plans.

But I lack the most important thing a man can have.  I lack a good woman to share my life.

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I’ve tried, but cannot find her.

Sometimes I regret ever choosing to become the Red Skull.

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HOME AGAIN

Home again after spending the last two weeks in Australia, dividing my time between Brisbane, Melbourne and then finishing up with a few days in Sydney.

My ostensible purpose was business, but my hope was to eat and drink with as many of that rarified group of people who identify themselves as “Burgers” – people I’ve met via Journal Space (now defunct) and then via the website entitled “Cheeseburger Gothic” – as possible.

What a lively, articulate, educated, interesting and generous group you Burgers turned out to be.  Although my visit was fast and restricted to three cities, I was fortunate enough to eat, drink, talk and laugh with the following exceptional people (in quasi chronological order):

JB (and wife and kids),

Monster Yuppy (and wife),

Quokka (and husband),

Greybeard (and wife),

Morgana,

Big Bad Al,

Hughesy (and husband),

Nowhere Bob,

Damian (and wife),

Red Roo,

Barnsem (and son),

Guru Bob,

Nautilus,

Sibeen,

Bangar,

Albion Love Den,

Melbo,

Mayhem,

Catty,

Flinthart,

Havock,

Wolfcat,

Orin,

Therbs,

Bondiboy,

Bedes,

Oberonsghost, and

Patricia.

You all showed me a very good time that exceeded my hopes – which isn’t easy to do.

I fell in love with your country, your people and what I believe is a nascent, yet distinct culture. What I did, saw and learned convinces me that Australia embodies much of what we here in the United States once took so much pride in showing, but which we no longer seem capable of manifesting and are losing even an interest in maintaining the pretense of projecting.

I very happy to be home, again with my wife whom I so deeply missed, but I am left somewhat bitter and somewhat jealous that you have so much materially, spiritually and culturally that we do not, that we once had or at least pretended to have, that we’ve lost and may never recover. I have concluded that early events shape cultures and national character.

You were founded by forced colonization.   To survive, the prisoners of Botany Bay created a communal society that resented those with guns who took the lion’s share for themselves. In vast contrast, the first Europeans to our shores were Puritans in the north who sought to crush freedom of thought through harsh theocratic rule, and by businessmen in the south who sought to accumulate vast wealth through slave labor.

I will undoubtedly write more about this, but for now all I can do is express my deep appreciation and gratitude for the warmth and kindness y’all showed this progressively aging and often foolish seppo.  I look forward to my next visit, which will be around the same time next year, but will include stops in Canberra and Hobart and, if at all possible, Perth.

Again, thank you all.

Paul

HEADLINE – ‘Inherently racist’ bake sale by UC Berkeley set for Tuesday

FRESNO, California – The University of California, Berkeley, will  be holding its seventh annual Inherently Racist Bake Sale to raise funds for environmental projects.

The tasty treats offered for sale will include Buckra Crackers (sort of bland and very expensive; they come with a side of mayonnaise),  Jigaboo Chews, Wop Drops, Spic on a Stick, Chocolate Frogs (coco treats shaped like Frenchmen), Hymie-Limeyade (a refreshing citrus beverage served by a Rabbi with an English accent ) and Fig Gobbler Cobbler.

Lunch items will also be available, such as the always popular Jap Wrap and Seppo Salad.

Complementary Bamboo Coon balloons will be given out to children.

Source: http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/us/california-racial-bake-sale

DIGITAL HUMOUR

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2!

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CHINESE DUDES LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH THEIR JUNK

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My wife received a spam email today with this caption:

“CHINESE DUDES LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH THEIR JUNK”

She laughed and laughed  and then showed her computer to me to prove it.

I am not sure how I feel about this event.  I have no problem with my wife laughing about it.  Her laughter is, in large measure, why I love her: she has a wonderful sense of humour and when she laughs I find myself on the verge of believing in God, and that is saying something, about my life, about my wife and about my love for her.

So I am good with her laughing at that email. Perfectly fine with that part.  What I am not good with is the fact that she received it.

Again, please don’t think I am a prude attempting to shelter my wife. Nothing could be further from the truth. First, she doesn’t need sheltering; she is far stronger than I am in every way a person can be strong.  Second, she doesn’t want me to shelter her; she would resent even the smallest attempt to do so.

What bothers me is that I find myself in a point in history, unique to all other points in history, where a total stranger can send my wife an email with a caption that reads “CHINESE DUDES LIFING WEIGHTS WITH THEIR JUNK” along with the promise that, if the email is opened, a short chain of events will lead to graphic proof that there are, indeed, Chinese dudes who can and do lift weights with their junk – and record such events photographically to share with the wide, wide world.

That’s what I am not happy with. I am unhappy that we have come to this. I am unhappy that this is the point in history that I find myself living in.

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Back Home Again

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Oh, it’s been busy.

First, Los Angeles, where I hosted my wife’s 50th birthday celebration with her closest friends from all over. Good times, good food, good wine.  Met a bunch of punters from Melbourne at the incredible restaurant at the top of hotel we stayed at in Santa – the Huntley House. The. Single. Best. Place. To. Stay. In. Los. Angeles.

I bought them a round of drinks. They seems surprised.

Then, back to Northern California for a day or two, and then off (flying) to Buffalo, New York to surprise my mother-in-law on her 75th birthday. Spicy chicken wings, beef on weck, incredible pizza, char-grilled hot dogs and good local beer.

Then back home for a day or two, and then off (driving) to Bozeman Montana to with a Toyota Sienna full of my son’s stuff. He is renting a house with two very fine midwestern young ladies for his second year in that horrible place.

Helped the kid move in, bought him a bed, a desk and some shelves. Met his room mate’s parents (from Chicago, so they are fine folk). Ate great food (totally unexpectedly amazing). Drank some unbelievably good local beer.

Then off to Walla Walla (midway between Bozeman and Portland, Oregon). Again, great food, great local beer and great local wine. I will go back and spend time there just wandering around. Beautiful little city.

Then off to Portland to spend a few days with my sister, Kelly and my brother-in-law Bill. Bill works for Intel. Kelly is an executive assistance for a Nike executive.  Got a tour of the Nike campus.  I want Nike to run the world. All would be well if Nike ran the world.

Again, great food, great local beer, great local wine  and the company of two intelligent, articulate, funny people.  

Then straight back home. Long drive. We were going to stop in Ashland, but I wanted to get back home.

The whole thing – back and forth/up and down – took about three weeks. 

I’m getting old. I no longer enjoy driving long distances.

Today my wife went back to work for the first time in a month. Tonight I seared two Bison strip steaks (bought a bunch of Bison in Bozeman) and two little Bison fillet rounds. I made a red wine/shallot/garlic/pepper/a pinch of salt/butter reduction. I will serve it up with roasted vegetables and a glass of Four Rivers (a Paso Robles winery) Loco (the red wine I used for the reduction). Organic raspberries and fresh whipped cream for dessert. 

It is good to be home.

Now I need to firm up my trip Down Under.

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Did Newsweek choose Michele Bachmann cover photo to make her ‘look crazy’?

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American right wing pundits and Tea Party boosters are up in arms over Newsweek‘s latest cover, which they claim unfairly makes Michele Bachmann “look crazy”:

I think Newsweek went easy on Bachmann. They could have chosen any of these already existing photos:

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My  grandmother once told me that, to know if someone is mentally imbalanced,  look at only their eyes.  Ignore their voice, the rest of their face. Just look at their eyes.  Here are Michele Bachmann’s eyes:

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In my opinion, Michele Bachmann is ten pounds of crazy trying to fit inside of a five pound bag.  This lady scares the hell out of me.

But please, decide for yourself.

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HEADLINE – Australia’s burping cows more climate friendly than thought

CHINAMAN’S KNOB, Vic – A recent study confirms that Australian cows, known for their prolific burping, are environmentally progressive and support new conservation policies.

“Australian cows are united in their support for a carbon tax,” said Bluey Simcowitz, spokesperson for the Australian Burping Bovine Foundation, a special interest organization focused on advancing the interests of Australian burping cows.

“Burping cows are also interested in pursuing local and national legislation promoting recycling,” said Simcowitz.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110527/sc_nm/us_australia_cows-

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HEADLINE – Gates Says Somebody in Pakistan Knew about Bin Laden

Defense Secretary Robert Gates accuses somebody of knowing bin Laden was there.

WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates said on Wednesday that he surmised that “Somebody” inside Pakistan was aware that Osama bin Laden was hiding in a compound in the Pakistani garrison town of Abbottabad.

“My supposition is, Somebody knew,” Mr. Gates said at a Pentagon news conference with Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

“Gates is out of his mind,” said Abdul Somebody after learning that Gates was accusing him of knowing where bin Laden was hiding. “I had no idea whatsoever,” Somebody stated.

 Mr. Gates said that his supposition, shared by many other Obama administration officials, did not extend to Pakistan’s top political and military officials. “I have seen no evidence at all that anyone other than Abdul Somebody knew,” Mr. Gates said.

 “In fact, I’ve seen some evidence to the contrary. Other than Somebody, no one else knew that Osama bin Laden was hiding in that compound,” Gates concluded.

Source: http://www.nytimes.com.html

HEADLINE – Tall, obese men at higher risk for blood clots

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Finally, some good news for short, obese men.

Source: http://tall-obese-clots-20110429

HEADLINE – “Birthers” attack Obama for releasing birth certificate

A prominent crazy person hooting like a loon on Fox News.

Donald Trump hooting like a loon for an audience in Las Vegas.

Sara Palin hooting like a loon for supporters in Boston

John Boehner hooting like a loon in Washington D.C.

Rick Perry hooting like a loon in Texas.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia hooting like a loon.

Michelle Bachmann hooting like a loon in Cleveland, Ohio

Mitt Romney hooting like a loon in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

MUNCIE - Republican leaders on Thursday slammed President Obama’s release of his detailed birth certificate as a distraction from the issue of whether or not he was born in the United States.

“Its a distraction from our distraction,” said Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Preibus said on “CNN Newsroom,” referring to Obama’s decision to release his long-form birth certificate.

Reince Preibus with a silly big hammer. Like the kind of hammer a judge uses in court, but way bigger.

“The whole ‘show us your birth certificate’ thing was the greatest non issue in American political history, totally distracting millions of people from the real issues,” Preibus continued. “It’s maddening that the President would put an end to our yelling and screaming for him to show us his birth certificate by actually disproving our idiotic charges – charges that have never been made against any other sitting president or any candidate for the presidency.”

Born in Panama, but his citizenship has never been questioned.

“Well, that isn’t entirely true,” Preibus then admitted. “There was a persistent rumor that Grover Cleveland was born in Canada.”

Probably Canadian.

“But no one made an issue of it because Cleveland wasn’t …. he wasn’t like Obama,” Preibus said and ran off.

Preibus running away.

Most birthers feel the issue is not settled: “Okay, so he was born in Hawaii,” said Donald Trump, billionaire birther and possible Republican presidential candidate.

Donald Trump reacts to Obama proving he was born in Hawaii.

“But science has proven that the blacks, they just aren’t good in school. How could Obama go to Harvard much less be president?”

It just doesn’t seem possible.

“It just doesn’t make scientific sense. I am prepared to show that a black man couldn’t possibly have been smart enough to go to Harvard, and to prove it I have investigators researching Obama’s elementary school report cards.  The word is his grades were bad, very bad. The word is he failed gym because he wouldn’t play dodge ball, which is exactly what someone born in Kenya would do. The word is that Kenyans hate dodge ball.”

Everybody knows Africans prefer basketball.

HEADLINE – Where next for NASA? Scientists draw up wish list

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BILLINGS, MT –  Facing funding cuts, NASA scientists drew up their “wish lists.”

“I want a pony and a monkey and a trip to Disneyland!” said Dr. Herbert Krantz, Project Director for the now cancelled first manned mission to Mars, at a press conference where he revealed his personal wish list.

Virtually all NASA manned and unmanned space missions have been cancelled due to lack of funding.

Source:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110308/ap_on_sc/us_sci_science_wish_list-