THE SECRET OF MY (NEW) INTERNET SUCCESS

As some of you remember, I wrote an essay during the halcyon days of JournalSpace (JS) musing on my sudden Internet success. After crawling through cyberspace getting a few visitors here and a few there, all of a sudden my blog began being accessed hundreds of times a day.

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This happened during a cycle where I posted photos related to lesbian equestrians. Apparently, people all over the world were keenly interested in lesbian horse stories.

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Better prose than you might suspect.

Better prose than you might suspect.

 

I pandered to this interest as long as I could. But then I broke stride and posted a short essay describing my feelings after the death of a loved one. Whereas the world wide web was peppered with people who couldn’t get enough of lesbians and horses in whatever combination I could conjure up, the combination of love and death acted like bug spray on a bunch of roaches: my international audience disappeared.

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I am experiencing the same sort of thing here at WordPress. I just reached that magic 5,000-viewer milestone with a sudden stream of viewers.

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Like my Internet success at JournalSpace, my achievement here at WordPress does not stand up to close scrutiny.  Careful inspection shows that my success here at WordPress is an illusion – something I find utterly fascinating.

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One of the reasons I now prefer WordPress is the wonderful tools WordPress provides to data junkies like me.  JournalSpace let me know who was visiting my blog, but WordPress lets me know why.

 

 

WordPress provides two utilities that place a bright light on the motives of people who visit my blog.  The first of these tools shows me which blogs “referred” others to my blog.  For example, I get a lot of referrals from John Birmingham’s blog

www.cheeseburgergothic.com. /John graciously lists me as a blog he follows and people who read his blog click on that link to access my blog.  I get the same kind of traffic from (in no particular order):

cageliner.blogspot.com

therbs-bar.blogspot.com

bangarrr.wordpress.com

dirkflinthart.blogspot.com

jadedj-banquetofconsequencestoo.blogspot.com

mamagetshergrooveback.blogspot.com

lermontov09.blogspot.com

mokoreturns.blogspot.com

becomingkate-becomingkate.blogspot.com

64poundsofrumpsteakpleasesanta.blogspot.com

rhinorog.blogspot.com

nataliatherussianspy.blogspot.com

gurubob09.blogspot.com

alonewithnoone.blogspot.com

morphinekisses.journalspace.com

puma.journalspace.com

labetine.blogspot.com

lovingdeparture.blogspot.com

sacrificial-doll.blogspot.com

drej08.wordpress.com

loupylou.wordpress.com

truckersjournal.wordpress.com

dorrie.de/F1

wildwesty.wordpress.com

drewsbird.blogspot.com

mirrorone.blogspot.com

captainmando.wordpress.com

nautilis.wordpress.com

karada007.wordpress.com

dkpark.wordpress.com

uamada.wordpress.com

I also get regular referrals from unexpected places, like:

google.com.au

huffingtonpost.com

Apparently Australians and liberals (not always synonymous) are interested in my particular brand of invective.

 

 

 

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I love seeing and hearing from fellow members of the JS Diaspora.  But these friends and friendly websites count for a fraction of those reading my blog, and it is those anonymous, invisible people whom never comment who interest me most.

 

 

The second WordPress analytical tool I enjoy sheds the most light on the mystery of why people I don’t know from JS visit here – there is a function that lists the search terms people are typing into search engines like google and yahoo people to find my blog.


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A fair number of these phantoms are interested in me – and I do mean me.  They use the following search terms to find and access my WordPress blog:

Paul Boylan attorney

Paul Nicholas Boylan

Paul Nicholas Boylan’s blog

Paul Nicholas Boylan mug shot

Paul Nicholas Boylan cocaine

Paul Nicholas Boylan criminal record

Paul Nicholas Boylan photo

“Paul Nicholas Boylan” pornography

Paul Nicholas Boylan “I dream of”

“Paul Nicholas Boylan” Darwin

“Paul Nicholas Boylan” gay


My analysis of these particular search terms seems to indicate someone is fishing around on the Internet hoping they can prove I am a drug using homosexual pornographer that spent time in jail for teaching evolution.

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Please don’t be concerned. My legal practice often requires that I become involved in contentious issues. People I represent love me; people whom my clients oppose sometimes hate me, which prompts them to research my background in an attempt to “dig up dirt” about me to publish anonymously on the internet with the hope that, if they can harm my professional and personal reputations, then they can minimize my effectiveness as an advocate, counselor and advisor. It comes with the turff.

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1-rotwang-in-contemplation

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But those desiring to learn more about my life of lust and crime are very few.  The majority of my visitors are interested in something else.

They are deeply interested in Sarah Palin.

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Every day I get hundreds of hits on my site by people who got here using the following search terms:


sarah palin

sara palin

sarah palin pictures

sarah palin sexist picture

sarah palin naked

naked sarah palin

sarah palin dominatrix

sarah palin suspended

sarah palin 2012

palin in superbowl ad 2009

dirty photos of sarah palin

sarah palin in black face

sarah palin ball gag

Palin boots

sarah palin in boots, pictures

sarah palin cocaïne call girl

revealing “sarah palin”

sarah palin stupid

sarah palin, mund auf, augen zu

sarah palin leather skirt

sarah palin ass

sarah palin stripper

free sarah palin pictures

sara palin look a like

sarah palin without glasses

sarah palin pouting

 


There are more, but you get the drift.

So, the reason why my blog is receiving significant and unexpected traffic is because I posted a couple of political pieces about Sarah Palin little realizing that, for many, many people out there in cyber land, Sarah Palin is a fetish.

I’m not sure how to react to this insight.

 

Sarah Palin in leather playing video game

Sarah Palin in leather playing video game

Sarah relaxing at home after being Governor

Sarah relaxing at home after being Governor

Sarah and two boy toys

Sarah and two "boy toys"

Palins actual feet and shoes.

Palin's actual feet and shoes.

 

palin-629618_f260

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12 Responses to “THE SECRET OF MY (NEW) INTERNET SUCCESS”

  1. you may have more readers then you realise. If someone reads via their blogsurfer, like I often do, without visiting or leaving a comment, then you never realise it.

    Like

  2. Install google analytics on your blog as well and you can have a data overload!!!

    Like

  3. Let’s get out the old abacus and do some sums on this sucker. Umm, lesbian (click click), horse (click click click) Sarah Palin (click click click click). Hmmmm. I see. I get it! Now if we tweek that bead there onto that row there we get the answer:
    you just gotta run a story about Sarah Palin being part of a lesbian pantomime horse act.

    Like

  4. Thanks for the blogtroduction.

    Did you happen to be able to break them views into demographics? LIke . .X from red, states, Y from blue. But the majority from Downing Street Great Britain?

    Like

  5. Therbs has probably hit the nail onthe head! That story could have you at 10000 in a week!

    Like

  6. I dare you to do a post called “Why hasn’t Obama fixed everything yet?”. And see what you get. The body of your post can be completely unrelated – actually i am pretty sure you have 1000 words in you on that subject.

    Like

  7. Hey Therbs, guess which end of the horse Palin plays.

    Oh, and is the pantomime horse the lesbian or the whole act?

    Like

  8. You know, there is a downside to this sudden notoriety, Paul. You will no longer be able to go to dinner, take in a movie, or shop at Wal-Mart without being hounded by the paparazzi and scum autograph seekers. This is why I keep my blog in low-profile mode. Something to consider next time you write one of those ass-kicking entries.

    Like

  9. Dorie – Oh great. Now I get to fixate on those who visit that I can’t even see.

    Nautilis – How do I do that? I WANT data overload! For Chrissake, why do you think I do this?

    Therbs – Yes. Yes. I see. It can be done. It will be done.

    Brian – I would welcome the ability to analyze by location. I suspect most of those searching for naughty Sarah Palin pics are Swiss. Face it – she is exactly what every Swiss man (and many Swiss women) secretly want to cuddle with.

    Lermontov – Da, Tovaritch. I agree. At least a thousand words.

    Nautilus – She has to play the front end of the horse for what I envision. Although the back side of the horse opens up penetrating possibilities.

    Jaded – Except for one court case where the totality of my JS blog was admitted into evidence to prove that I am a “public figure” (yes, that actually happened) there has been no downside to my notoriety. Very few people know what I look like. I operate out of a post office box and the few addresses anyone can find on the internet are all false. I do not practice law in the town I live in. So I can shop for food and get drunk in public without being hounded.

    Like

  10. gahleclaphric Says:

    Hi, cool site, good writing 😉

    Like

  11. Hmm, very cognitive post.
    Is this theme good unough for the Digg?

    Like

  12. Harbans Lal Gera – I know this is off topic but need help with Vista

    Thanks,
    Harbans Lal Gera

    Like

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