By RHAPPI KANASTA, Ass. Press Writer – 2 hrs 24 mins ago

GENEVA — The United Nations anti-racism conference moved from rancor to rapport on Tuesday, overcoming a conference-opening denunciation of Israel by Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to adopt a consensus resolution.

“We all agreed that we hate Jews,” said Abu Salla, Backwardistan Minister for Human Rights.

Most delegates walked out of the conference to protest Ahmadinejad’s call for the nations of the earth to rise up and “utterly destroy those sneaky Jews,” leaving behind a group of dignitaries united in their hatred for Jews in general an Israel in particular.

“Now that all those infidels are gone, we can just be ourselves,” said Abu Hassan, Bigjerkistan Foreign Minister.  I mean, homosexuals have gay bars and smokers have smoking lounges. But until now we Jew-haters haven’t had anywhere to just relax with like-minded friends,” Hassan said. “Except small sections of southern Idaho, but who wants to go there? Not me.”

The adoption of the resolution by the committee that coordinates the conference ended months of  deadlock over efforts to remove contentious clauses referring to Israel as the “Zionist anal sphincter of the Universe.”  The final resolution contains that controversial language, but also calls for an end to intolerance and xenophobia.

“And there’s nothing contradictory or hypocritical about that at all,” comments Shoof al Kalb Khawell”, author of the resolution.





  1. Sounds about right, bloody westerners holding back the rights of certain groups to hate jews and isreal , thats racist if you ask me!


  2. Yeah, just scrub out those pesky religious vilification laws and not being able to kill everyone that shits us or that wears deodorant and let’s have a right wing PAAAARTAY.


  3. Trouble is though, if you take what he ACTUALLY said at face value, that the ZIONIST state is racist, seems to me he didn’t actually pick on Jews as such. In fact, a vast majority of of Jewish religionists hold the same opinion, that the Zionist state is, if you boil it all down, racist. Zionism demands that there shall only be Israel, that there is no other claim to the land of Israel thanks to the word of Him – you know, that imaginary bearded Elohim bloke, and that anyone who claims to have been there for the past couple of thousand years should just bugger off and shut up and become invisible. Or die. Or something.

    A bit like the Us and its aboriginal population, or Australia’s for that matter. I have a sneaking suspicion that is why our fearless leaders declined to attend the meeting – too fearful that the admonishing finger of conscience might be waggled at themselves.

    I dunno, for a nut job, the mad dinnerjacket occasionally tells the blunt truth, difficult as it may be for the West to digest.


  4. Oh boy….My Jewish friends will be in a panic.



  5. paulboylan Says:

    Annette – You totally missed the joke. All of what you say is fine argument, but I’m not making an argument beyond pointing out the irony and resulting humor of realizing that, when reasonable people leave the room, the conversation will then be dominated by the unreasonable people who remain.


  6. OK … I’ve read Shoof al Kalb Khawell 23.83 times and I can’t see the pun.

    Damn you Mr. Boylan – no sleep for me tonight.


  7. paulboylan Says:

    Does this help?

    “Shoof al Kalb Khawell? I hardly know her!”


  8. paulboylan Says:

    “Abu Salla,” “Abu Hassan” and “Shoof al Kalb Khawell” are inside jokes in Arabic (no kidding). I am cracking up Arabic speakers all over the world. Even as we speak, milk is coming out of someone’s nose in Jeddah.


  9. Rhino – its an anagram of Koala shall fob whelk, or Halal flak bloke show.


  10. I did get the irony you were going for, but I just don’t think that the ‘reasonable’ people are behaving particularly reasonably – rather, they are behaving like a bunch of schoolboys hiding in the dunnies to avoid the problem of having to confront the gorilla in the room.


  11. paulboylan Says:

    Why can’t you let me win even one argument?

    PS – what are “dunnies?”


  12. bog, loo, crapper, john etc

    You know us Aussie chicks are too refined to use anything other than a euphemism to describe the above.


  13. paulboylan Says:


    Thank you.


  14. We would also accept shitters, slashers, smallest room, brasco, shithouse, pissery and/or ‘touring the facilities’.


  15. Most of those guys look like they’re trying to hide erections.


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