HEADLINE – Taliban admit Mehsud dead
Pakistani Taliban admit leader Mehsud dead
By Rhappee Kanasta (Ass. Press) – 4 hours ago
DERA ISMAIL KHAN, Pakistan — After weeks of denials, two Pakistani Taliban commanders admitted Tuesday that the group’s top leader, Baitullah Mehsud, is dead.
“Okay! He’s dead! We admit it! Are you happy now??” Hakimullah Mehsud asked at a press conference called to announce that the Taliban finally admit Baitullah is dead.
“Does that make you happy?” Hakimullah repeated. “He’s dead, okay? Dead. He’s pushing up daisies. He’s joined the Choir Invisible. Baitullah is no more. He’s gone. Kaput. Finished. Blown to bits by a Predator drone missile.”
“Go ahead, rub it in. Tell us you knew he was dead weeks ago. Go ahead. I won’t stop you. You’ve won. We admit it. He’s dead,” Hakimullah added.
“You people make me sick,” Hakimullah shouted and ran off.