HEADLINE – Taliban admit Mehsud dead

Pakistani Taliban admit leader Mehsud dead

By Rhappee Kanasta (Ass. Press) – 4 hours ago

DERA ISMAIL KHAN, Pakistan — After weeks of denials, two Pakistani Taliban commanders admitted Tuesday that the group’s top leader, Baitullah Mehsud, is dead.

“Okay!  He’s dead!  We admit it!  Are you happy now??” Hakimullah Mehsud asked at a press conference called to announce that the Taliban finally admit Baitullah is dead.

“Does that make you happy?” Hakimullah repeated. “He’s dead, okay? Dead. He’s pushing up daisies. He’s joined the Choir Invisible.  Baitullah is no more.  He’s gone. Kaput. Finished.  Blown to bits by a Predator drone missile.”


Predator drone firing missle.


“Go ahead, rub it in. Tell us you knew he was dead weeks ago. Go ahead. I won’t stop you. You’ve won. We admit it. He’s dead,” Hakimullah added.

“You people make me sick,” Hakimullah shouted and ran off.




8 Responses to “HEADLINE – Taliban admit Mehsud dead”

  1. Hakimullah also admitted that his new manager, Eric Bishoff, was in the process of putting together a deal to stage the “Swat Shootout” between Hakimullah and Wali U Rehman. Rehman was recently signed by Vince McMahon to WWE’s Raw roster following Rehman’s split with Don King. Bishoff, whose ECW brand was gobbled up by McMahon in the 1990’s was quoted as saying,
    “These guys are rugby union fanatics. They play out the All Black moves before morning prayers just to get the juices flowing for the day. They’re cut, highly trained and will give a good account of themselves in the squared circle. Haki has it all over Rehman. You watch, McMahon will be eating crow after Swat Shootout.”
    Wali U Rehman was not available for comment after rumours of his death in a duel with Hakimullah were reported as false by Taliban e-Channel reporter, Dash Ur Bin.
    “No. No way. That’s just hype from Haki’s camp. The McMahon-Bishoff riff is playing loud here and will explode in Swat. We expect a subscription boom for our brother channel TSPN.”


  2. paulboylan Says:

    Beautiful. Simply beautiful.


  3. Joyce Pennington Says:

    hmmmm…he is alive. I find that creepy…or is it an imposter?


  4. Joyce Pennington Says:

    He is ALIVE…isn’t that prophecy too? He’d be found alive..the antichrist will raise his ugly head? I find this creepy…just in time for Halloween.


  5. Shafiq Mirza Khan Peshawary Says:

    In Pakistan, we may not like our government –but we support them and our Armed Forces against the terrorists.

    It is india who is supporting anti Pakistan elements, who are having bases in Afghanistan. Nobody is supporting us in our fight, we are doing it on our own -with our own security forces and on our own initiative.

    In Pakistan, we will do our part. I hope NATO will do more to guard the Afghan side of the border where things have gotten from bad to worse in the past 8 years.



    death to all enemies and ill-wishers of Pakistan! You can run, but you can never hide!! That is a promise by 170 million Pakistani nationalists.


  6. Shafiq Mirza Khan Peshawary Says:

    We have captured Hekimullah Mehsuds top aides (including 3 senior commanders) in the past 10 days during Pakistan joint Army/Air Force Operation Rah e Nejat

    Abdullah Shah Mehsud
    Rafi Uddin
    Maulvi Rafi ud Din
    Haji Gulzar

    all in Pakistan custody. Intelligence Agencies are interrogating them now

    we also recovered huge cache of Russian arms and ammunition in the Makin/Jandola localities of South Waziristan. Most of these arms were brought by Uzbek and Afghan nationals who illegally crossed into Pakistan from Afghanistan via the porous and rugged border


  7. Shafiq – Welcome. I have many Pakistani friends and much sympathy for the bleak future Pakistan is facing.

    The primary problem Pakistan faces is its geography. Geographically, it is vulnerable to an Indian invasion. Also, compared to India, Pakistan is economically and technologically weak. These vulnerabilities and weaknesses have prompted Pakistan to rely on surrogates to pursue policy goals that Pakistan, as a nation, cannot. For example, the conflict between India and Pakistan in Kashmir is being waged by separatists funded and supported secretly by Pakistan.

    The same is true for the Taliban and other extremist groups. Pakistan has relied on them to pursue Pakistan’s interests. The war Pakistan is waging right now is with extremists that want to topple the Pakistani government. The Pakistani army is leaving alone other extremist groups that are working well with the Pakistani government.

    This distinction between “good extremists” and “bad extremists” has trapped Pakistan and caused the United States to shift attention and alliance from Pakistan to India. Pakistan has lost its most important alliance.

    Whether anyone likes it or not, all of this means that, sooner or later, the nation known as Pakistan will cease to exist. More likely, it will break up into a cluster of sub nations, most of them lawless.

    I wish this were not true, but it is. I am sorry.

    The only hope Pakistan has to survive is to purge itself of ALL extremist connections and to use Pakistani intelligence to help the US defeat the Taliban in Afghanistan. But that will not happen because it would mean fighting both the “good” and “bad” extremist – which Pakistan is clearly unwilling and possibly unable to do.


  8. I think you are confused. Break up? Kindly explain rather than just make statements followed by “I’m sorry”

    Pakistanis are united more than ever in the face of the foreign sponsored terrorism being waged on us.

    Our economy may not be so strong nowdays, but that is mainly due to corruption mismanagement and the nature of the global economic recession. We are not technologically or militarily weaker than india. If we were, they would have tried to bully us the way they bully Nepal and Bangladesh.

    Pakistan is a nation they know they cannot dare challenge. Apart from being nuclear power, the number of troops we have per square kilometer is to our advantage. Learn about how we humiliated indian air force in every encounter/engagement we had with them, despite smaller number of aircrafts.

    We have our own defence industry in order to uniform, arm and equip our troops. In fact our defence exports are much higher than india’s. Proof of that is Sri Lanka, whose army we provided assistance to in order to permanently crush tamil tigers (which were funded and armed by indian)

    Tell me one time where are so called “extremist groups” came to our advantage? Not even once!

    As for seperatists in indian occupied Kashmir — those are mostly local Kashmiris, or Azad (liberated Kashmiris) from Pakistani side. It is not our fault that Kashmiris want independence from india. This has been their goal since independence from Britisher rule. Kashmir is in the hearts of 170 million Pakistanis, and we will NEVER abandon the cause until the Kashmiris get their plebisite and existential right to self-determination. You can be damn sure we will never abandon the Kashmiris!

    To get back to today — we have killed and nabbed more terrorists than the efforts of NATO forces combined. I’m not saying this because I want your or others’ compliments. We are doing it on our own initiative.

    But I do say that foreign forces must withdraw from Afghanistan. Otherwise it will just be a Vietname type situation for them. Learn the history of Afghanistan. No foreign invading Army has EVER succeeded there. Not the Soviets…not the Britisher….not Alexcander the Great & his Army. NOBODY.

    Had priority been given in 2001 (rather, right after the soviets retreated) -a lot of the problems wouldnt exist. Opium trade is out of control since US supported Karzai government –and it is us Pakistanis, Iranians, and even Russians who are feeling the effects.

    The people attacking Pakistan ARE NOT Afghan taleban. Proof of that lies in the fact that even Mullah Omar publicly condemned the Mehsuds and Jalal Haqqani network.

    TTP (Pakistani “taleban”) are purely funded by indians and by the enemies of Pakistan.

    But if you follow “Rah e Nejat” (google it) then you will know how pro-active we are in fighting the enemies.

    and in the end, Pakistan will prevail. Because we are 170 million people who will die for our country. And this is a warning to all enemies of Pakistan to face us like men, or go retreat.

    you are either WITH PAKISTAN


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