HEADLINE – Gosselin Kids ‘Wailing and Sobbing’ Now That Cameras Are Gone
Source: The Ass. Press
Posted: 10/21/09 19:15AM
Filed Under: News
Kate Gosselin’s children are “angry” and “acting out,” because their TLC show “Jon & Kate Plus 8′ (renamed ‘Kate Plus 8’) was shutting down because Jon Gosselin, the children’s father, believes the show is harming his children.
In an interview with Vanity Fair, Kate described how much her kids enjoy being filmed 24 hours a day, every day. “They love our crew, they love the interaction, they love the events. There is nothing harmful about it. They are angry.”
“We want the cameras back!” wailed five year old Hannah, one of a set of sextuplets born on May 10, 2004. “I can’t sleep without the lights and crew activity! I just made a breakthrough with my therapist, and for what? Now I have to start all over again!” she sobbed.
“This is all daddy’s fault!” screamed little Cara, known by millions for her adorable smile. “He willfully breached the original contract, thereby depriving the family of the benefit of the bargain. I hope mommy can obtain injunctive relief,” Cara said, before smiling adorably.
“The gaffer was going to show me where babies come from!” noted nine year old Madelyn.
Ass. Press has obtained a transcript of Kate Gosselin telling her children that the show has been placed on hold:
“Gather ‘round, kids. Hannah, get that out of your mouth; you don’t know where it’s been. Kids, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the nice and very handsome judge ordered your good for nothing, cheating, stupid, smelly father to give back the money he stole from you and mommie. The bad news is that all of the nice camera people and show people with the candy and the toys are going away because you daddy doesn’t love you. Thats right. Your daddy doesn’t love you and he took a gun and tried to shoot the nice people with the candy and toys. Alexis, stop crying; I said stop crying you little bitch. Mommy’s had a bad day meeting with producers and attorneys and hair stylists and fashion consultants and astrologers and she need just a little support right now, okay? But it’s okay to be mad. You can be mad all you want at daddy for leaving you and ruining eveything I worked so hard for. Did you know your daddy is sleeping with a teenager? And that he takes drugs? And that he comes here at night when we are all fast asleep and steals your toys so he can give them to other boys and girls he likes better than you? So the next time I hear you cring for your daddy or saying that you miss him I want you to remember – and I’m talking to you, Collin – I want you to remember that your daddy hates you and that he ruined a multi million dollar, multi-year deal. Okay? Now go be mad for the cameras like to I showed you.”
Last week TLC filed a lawsuit in Maryland seeking damages from Jon Gosselin for failing to do what he is told. “Look, all he had to do was put up with her abuse for a while,” said a Hollywood insider on the condition of confidentiality. “So it was a failed marriage. So the show put his kids in a fishbowl of nonstop publicity. So what? All he had to do was keep looking stupid and let her bitch at him on camera and everyone would get rich. But noooooo, the moron couldn’t do it. He totally screwed the pooch,” the insider concluded.
Ted Himmel, who represents Nala, the Gosselin family dog, denied any improper relationship between Nala and Jon Gosselin. “Although Mr. Gosselin has been commonly referred to as Nala’s ‘master’ and her ‘owner’ it would be a mistake to imply any kind of D/s or BDSM relationship between my client and Mr. Gosselin,” said Himmel.
Nala is currently negotiating with TLC to be the subject of a reality show tentatively entitled “Nala Gosselin: Life After Jon.” Himmel was quick to point out that Nala’s relationship with Jon had nothing to do with the breakdown of Jon and Kate’s marriage and pending divorce.
TLC is currently negotiating with Jon Gosselin to host a new reality show tentatively entitled “Jon Gosselin’s New York City Bachelor Sex Pad.”