HALLOWEEN AT MY PLACE
Culturally speaking, the United States has contributed two things to the world – popular barbecue and Halloween.
By “popular” I mean widespread. No people on earth have popularized cooking outdoors over live fire the way we Americans have. For a more serious discussion, please click here. l
By “Halloween” I mean an unabashed annual celebration of the spooky.
Other cultures celebrate death. They do it in China. They do it in Mexico. But those celebrations are essentially spiritual and/or religious. But not Halloween. Halloween has nothing to do with the spiritual. It has nothing to do with religion. It has everything to do with fun.
Every year on October 31st – when the wall between the worlds is thinnest and most easily crossed – kids and adults dress up in costumes and, when it gets dark, they go door to door essentially begging for candy – which they receive in large, monstrous handfuls.
This completely non religious festival is becoming part of the international scene. American style Halloween is now celebrated all over the world.
My favorite expression of this spread is Sandra’s haunted balcony in Hamburg, Germany.
It makes sense that the Germans in particular would embrace Halloween.
But I digress. I am here to tell you – to show you – what Halloween is like here in Northern California in the small town where I live.
For me Halloween began with a knock on my door early in the morning. My neighbor and his son came by to ask is they could install a portal into a dimension of evil in my front yard. My lawn was destroyed when my home was remodeled, so I figured, heck, when would there be a better time to have a portal into a dimension of evil installed in my front yard?
A hole was dug.
The device was installed.
While my neighbors tinkered with the field densities between the universes, a flock of wild turkeys strolled down my street foraging and decided to spend some time on a roof at the end of the block.
It was a good omen.
I decided to carve a pumpkin, but the pumpkin bin at my local market was somewhat bare with slim pickings left.
Nevertheless, I was able to find a reasonably decent pumpkin and was able to exercise the minimal artistic talent every American is born with and which is useful only for carving faces in pumpkins.
The dirt from the hole that housed the portal into the dimension of evil made a couple of fine impromptu graves.
All we had to do was wait for darkness and some unsuspecting Trick or Treaters.
I went out and bought candy to give away to the little boys and gouls who would come to my door that evening.
In addition to the usual treats, I included in my selection the very finest fake glow in the dark sour worms I could find.
The perfect Halloween treat.
And then it was time to get our collective freak on.
The device in my front yard worked nicely. I had a switch inside the house that triggered the device whenever someone rang the door bell, causing much shouting and the occasional scream.
It was a most satisfying Halloween. But I’m beginning to wonder if that portal is going to harm the value of my property.
This entry was posted on November 3, 2009 at 12:46 p11 and is filed under 3D, Art, Artists Rights, Astronomy, Avatar, Barry Goldwater, Battlestar Galactica, Berne Convention, Brave New World, Cinema, Droit de Suite, Droit Moral, Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, Evil Smiley Face, Fair Use, Family and Friends, Fiction, Fire and Ice, Free Utilization Doctrine, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, Fritz Lang, Getting it Right, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Harvey Eisner, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Humor, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, Mad Scientists, Moral Rights, music, News, Nichola Tesla, Op Ed, Parody, Paying Attention, Photography, Politics, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Research and Development, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Rotwang, Science, Science Fiction, Small Town America, Smiley Face, Space, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, Tasmania, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, TV, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Weird Stuff, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.