THE PARENT FILES: CHANGE OF PLANS

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I am leaving tomorrow at 7:15 AM for Dublin.  The young bloke isn’t going with me.  There is a math placement test his university requires that my son will be taking shortly after we return.  He decided he needs to stay and prepare for that exam rather than tag along after me – despite the lure of legal beer.

I am very disappointed. There is a script in my  head and heart re: “dad travels with 18 year old son through Europe” that I really wanted to enact.  But though disappointed,  I am also somewhat favorably impressed. He made the responsible choice.  I really cannot complain about that.

I, of course, must go. I cannot walk out on the universities that invited me to speak – and I gotta eat oysters and drink dry french white wine with my mate Stuart in London. But I am still committed to making the father/son thing happen. Maybe after the exam.  I can’t arrange any speaking gigs that late in the summer, but what the hell?  It is more traveling than I prefer, more time out of the office, but why not? This time is here only once.

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5 Responses to “THE PARENT FILES: CHANGE OF PLANS”

  1. Yes, I would tend to feel the same way Paul. Make it happen one day; that’s the stuff you’ll remember when you’re looking back on your life. The thing is, ina way it’s probably more *deeply* important t to you than to your son. I don’t mean it *isn’t * important to him and how would I measure that anyway?

    I just mean, we, as parents, are bound to our children in a way they can’t totally understand until they have their own children. I mean, they know we feel that way but they can’t know its depths till later. You’ll do it with him when the time is better 🙂

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  2. I want to agree with you mate, but I’m getting the later verses of Cat Stevens’ Cats In The Cradle in my head… don’t take it hard if the kid decides not to join. It took until my 20s for me to realise my old man was actually my best mate.

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  3. As I remember the story… your father appeared, took you to Europe, forced you to reach beyond yourself, and then left you to find you way, with a small endowment. Your son’s story is different… but sound’s like you’ve already given him what your father gave you in Europe. Congratulations.

    It is hard, but the father/son thing is mostly over, it’s time to watch him go on his own. You might want to leave the invitation open and dream of a trip to Europe with your best mate next summer, or when he’s ready.

    Looks like you are going to have to trudge on without him… Enjoy the oysters, dry white wine and Europe.

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  4. bondiboy66 Says:

    What? Be responsible and study for university OR go to Europe, drink and chase Euro chicks? Good lord man, what is wrong with the lad?

    Seriously though, you must be proud that your son has made such a reasoned and responsible choice. Plenty of time for drinking and chick chasing once he’s at Uni anyway!

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  5. That’s a big choice. Sounds a bit too sensible for an 18 year old. You need to feed him more beer. We can’t have the yoof of today getting all responsible and thinky, where will it end?

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