HEADLINE – TESTICLE FESTIVAL HUGE SUCCESTICLE

Photographer: Karen Combs 2010

Photographer: Karen Combs 2010

.

OLEAN, MO. – The Olean Festival Commission has declared this year’s Testicle Festival to be most successful testicle festival in the 17 years that Olean has hosted a testicle festival. “Attendance this year broke all prior attendance records,” said Gunther Haas, the primary organizer of this year’s Testicle Festival. “People traveled from as far away as Henley to participate in the testicle themed festivities.”

.

Good, clean testicle related fun.

.

In addition to the many testicle related food items being offered, this year’s Testicle Festival featured a Testicle Festival Parade, a Testicle Festival Pancake Breakfast, with testicle shaped pancakes and free testicle shaped balloons for the kids, and a testicle eating contest.

.

.

A number of testicle-themed rides and educational exhibits also contributed to this year’s Testicle Festival’s unprecedented success.

“We got a roller-coaster called the Testicle Express that is sure to give a thrill,” said Travis Jode, Honorary Mayor of Olean’s 17th Annual Testicle Festival. “And for the kids we have a giant testicle you can walk through and learn all about testicles.”

.

.

But the one thing that sets this year’s Testicle Festival apart from all other testicle festivals was the variety of testicles offered for consumption.

“Bull testicles are great,” said Sue Ellen Plavin, this year’s Testicle Queen.


“But you can get bull testicles at any testicle festival.  That’s where we’re different.  At the Olean Testicle Festival you can enjoy all sorts of testicles ranging from goat and sheep and pig and turkey to more exotic testes like squirrel, possum and frog, which I can tell you are simply delicious.  And I hear tell that somewhere around here you can score some kangaroo balls,” Plavin said and smiled. “I bet you can’t get kangaroo ‘nads at the Russelville Testicle Festival. No siree bob.”

.

Good, clean testicle related fun.

.

Advertisements

20 Responses to “HEADLINE – TESTICLE FESTIVAL HUGE SUCCESTICLE”

  1. Now that’s something I can sink my teeth into,,,gently.

    Like

  2. paulboylan Says:

    Maybe not. The photo at the end depicts an Australian television personality attempting to eat a kangagroo testicle. She didn’t enjoy the experience.

    I bet the person who prepared it didn’t know how to cook it right.

    Like

  3. yuri_nahl Says:

    This must be trap to lure loyal Stalinists to betray selves. Reminds my own Communist self about Herman Goering plan to utilize elephant scrotum to make lederhosen by cutting two holes in same.

    Like

  4. Hey Boylan:

    Send me your speaking CV – my son is doing grad law at Sydney Uni and is in all kinds of student services clubs. Might be an opportunity for a talk. You ever spoken out here in OZ?

    Like

  5. […] HEADLINE – TESTICLE FESTIVAL HUGE SUCCESS « PEOPLE OF EARTH: ATTENTION […]

    Like

  6. paulboylan Says:

    Annette: Nope, never spoke out there in Oz. But this seems like a grand opportunity. I’ll send my CV as soon as I get back home.

    Sydney is hosting a science fiction convention in October, and a friend of mine will be the key note speaker. That would be a perfect time to be there.

    Like

  7. Mmmm, testy. If you make it to Sydney I’ll show you how to drown backpackers. Bring a big towel.

    Like

  8. Whoa! Paul in Australia? Yes. Yes. Yes!

    Like

  9. *sighs*

    Really Paul. Taking advantage of the pumping rhythm in ‘testicle festival’? What a brain twister 😀

    Like

  10. God, Paul, if I didn’t like you so much I wouldn’t like you at all purely because of testicles.
    You’re a bad man , such a bad man.

    But hey– in Oz??? You will have non- stop dinner invitations. Good excuse for a massive Burger Fest. Which , let’s face it , is much more attractive a proposistion than a ball fest.

    Like

  11. paulboylan Says:

    If this happens, I envisioning being invited to speak in Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne and Brisbane. That’s about all I could handle in two weeks. Annette’s son will be my Sydney contact. I am hoping some of you have connections to law schools in the other cities listed above.

    Natalie – Yeah, I did sort of take advantage of that natural rhythm. I used it in the piece as often as possible.

    Abigail – Hey, don’t hate me for telling the truth. That is a real photo taken by a friend of mine and there is an annual testicle festival in that town.

    wildstorm – “Oh my” indeed.

    Like

  12. That’s it. I’m never surfing the internet again.

    Like

  13. Funny, but I am sort of disgusted by that last photo. What the hell is that lady trying to swallow? Really disgusting.

    Like

  14. “Zathros Says:
    June 20, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    That’s it. I’m never surfing the internet again.”

    Eeexcellent Mr Boylan. One down, 4 – 5 Billion to go.

    Like

  15. paulboylan Says:

    To be honest, I did sort of rub my hands and do a little “mooohahahaha!!” when I read of Zathros’ surrender.

    Like

  16. Grrr! They’ll put hair on your vagina ; )

    Like

  17. I am forced by circumstance and propriety to take your word for it.

    Like

  18. Haewon kim Says:

    I loooove testicles 😉 i could suck on testicles allll day

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: