HEADLINE – Novelist Anne Rice says she’s leaving Christianity

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ENCINO –  Novelist Anne Rice says she is rejecting Christianity because it is anti-gay and anti-woman.

“Well, this is bad news,” said Christianity.

“What is Christianity going to do without Anne Rice?” Christianity asked with tears in its eyes. “She was the soul of the world-wide church. This is the end of everything,” Christianity concluded.

“Wonderful!” said Islam. “This is the break Islam needs to push Christianity out of way and the take over the world!  With Anne Rice gone, there is nothing to stand in our way!” Islam said triumphantly.

“It is always sad when someone loses faith,” said Buddhism.  “I certainly hope Anne will be all right.”

“So?” asked Hinduism. “This is a news story?  An historically speaking minor author decides to relinquish her adherence to an organized religion – a young one, I might add – and it is headline news?  What about the millions starving? What about climate change?”

“I don’t even know who Anne Rice is,” commented Judaism.  “She looks nice, a little like a lesbian – which is perfectly fine.  Leviticus proscribes male homosexuality, but is silent about girl-on-girl action, so if she is a lesbian, then I say l’chaim, why not?”

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9 Responses to “HEADLINE – Novelist Anne Rice says she’s leaving Christianity”

  1. Stupid bitch sounds like a total FKN tool.

    Rice pointed to doctrinal issue she did not agree with as her reason for renouncing Christians, calling them a ‘quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group.

    o.O

    So an individual’s faith is defined by the people who follow the faith and not what the faith does for you?. If that was the case, no one would be an Atheist…. oh, I went there….YEEEEAH. lol

    I stopped going to church for exactly the same reasons. Blows my mind that people STILL haven’t figured out faith is between their deity and their own spirit. It has NOTHING to do with a book, or a building, or another person.

    Like

  2. paulboylan Says:

    Amen, mate.

    My Christianity is a very personal thing, most likely different from what anyone else believes. But, then, that is the nature of the beast, isn’t it?

    Like

  3. Weeeell…. I don’t support Canterbury, because Bulldogs fans are c**ts.

    Just sayin’.

    Like

  4. bondiboy66 Says:

    Different game Prof.. Canterbury Bulldogs play Rugby League (and are c**ts). Colingwood are and Australian Rules team…and may well be c**ts for all I know about Aussie Rules/AFL. I may learn more on that subject next week, as I have secured some tickets to the Sydney Swans v Hawthorn Hawks AFL game next Saturday and intend to take my little bloke.

    I didn’t even know Anne Rice was a Christian, I mean what with all the homoerotic undertones of her vampire books.

    Like

  5. I should perhaps clarify that comment comes off the back of my team South Sydney (owned by Rusty Crowe, at least we get cheap publicity) getting a f**king 32-12 arse-kicking from said Dogs on Friday night.

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  6. Thanks for that PNB, my respect for Judaisum just went up given the girl-on-girl ruling. Oh and Ann Rice looks nothing like the lesbians I have seen, at least on the other websites I have visited.

    Like

  7. Tom Cruise announced from his Fuhrerbunker that Ann Rice, as a wealthy semi-celebrity, would be welcome to join the Scientologists. “Like all our celebrity members” said the grinning dwarf, “She would be excused from any actual moral restrictions or our usual semi-slavery and psychological abuse. She would of course be expected to give money and use her public profile to attract converts for our All-Conquering Drone Legions.” Mr Cruise then scampered across the room and bounced happily on a sofa until a reporter shouted “Oh look! It’s Xenu!” He was then carried from the room in the foetal position, leaving behind a faint smell of urine.

    Like

  8. Paul, don’t listen to Doc Yobbo. He’s a whingeing Souths fan trying to relive long gone glories whilst living in self-imposed exile over in the Shaky Isles. And his team is owned by that c**t Russell Crowe. Big Russ once gave his players books to read. That had them confused for a few years as they tried to figure out how the things worked. What they really needed was heart, soul and a decent set of halfbacks. Needless to say they never figure highly at the pointy end of the season. But they’re not as c**ting as Manly-Warringah. And you are right about Collingwood and its fans, they’re all c**ts.

    Like

  9. Anne Rice is on my fb page and she’s very cool–progressive and open -minded and lovely, not like a star ego in the least. She left Catholicism because she couldn’t support the anti same sex /anti abortion. anti- everything tone of the joint.

    Like

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