HEADLINE – Doctor dies in chimney

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Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. – A doctor involved in an “on-again, off-again” relationship apparently tried to force her way into her boyfriend’s home by sliding down the chimney, police said Tuesday. Her decomposing body was found there three days later.

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, first tried to get into the house with a shovel, then climbed a ladder to the roof last Wednesday night, removed the chimney cap and slid feet first down the flue, Bakersfield police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said.

It was a good plan, and might have worked, but Dr. Kotarac apparently forgot that, when she became a physician, she lost the powers of Santa Claus,” DeGeare said. “The same thing happens to lawyers, accountants and professional writers.”

Source:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100901/ap_on_re_us/us_woman_in_chimney;_ylt=AtbQBQyyKtOwWcjgF.pksXGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFpZWZrdGI2BHBvcwMzOARzZWMDYWNjb3JkaW9uX21vc3RfcG9wdWxhcgRzbGsDY29wc2NhbGlmZG9j

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27 Responses to “HEADLINE – Doctor dies in chimney”

  1. So as an IT guy, I can still magic my way down chimneys? Wicked!

    Like

  2. Yes! Try it.

    Like

  3. “The same thing happens to lawyers, ”

    have you independently confirmed this ?

    Like

  4. Yes. I am typing this inside a chimney. I am quite embarrassed.

    Like

  5. You’re typing this in a chimney? Now I know why your voice sounds funny – you’ve caught the flue.

    Like

  6. My voice sounds funny to place my ominous and penetrating stare into sharp relief.

    Like

  7. Oh Jesus that’s a bad joke CC

    Like

  8. that boyfriend should be investigated…. who knows maybe he put her there

    RIP doc

    Like

  9. Maybe she was trying to get a job with these guys:
    http://www.chimneydoctors.com/index.php

    Then again, maybe she was just trying to live out a Dickensian chimney sweep fantasy.

    Like

  10. Umm, why was she trying so desperately hard to get into his house?

    “then she was found with her nail file, whittling down the bricks at the rate of one square centimeter an hour”

    Like

  11. HAHAHAHA HES A CRAZY BUM!

    Like

  12. Yes, Mimi: I am deeply admired by my brethren Down Under.

    Like

  13. I dont think they like you.

    Like

  14. Believe it or not, they like me just fine. But, in all honesty, they don’t like you much. I’ve heard many of them opine that you are not fit to eat with pigs. I defended you, stating that they are wrong, that you ARE fit to eat with pigs.

    Who loves ya, baby.

    Like

  15. As a dinkum cobber Aussie mate, I wish to make it clear that Mr Boylan is wellnigh worshipped here in the antipodes. Should conditions in your once-great nation become intolerable (ie rule by Tea Party) the competition to provide him & his with sanctuary would be frackin fierce.

    Like

  16. Yeah well I think he thinks hes smarter than me.

    Like

  17. Mimi – I AM smarter than you.

    Greybeard – I don’t need your charity. Well, not yet. Maybe soon.

    Like

  18. Im not that smart butr I learn from my mistakes and it was a big mistake doing any of that kinky stuff and I am still seeing my pics on the internet but I signed a slave contract so I can’t do anything about it he said he loved me too but he didn’t he just wanted to make money so no you cant convince me to do anything weird okay?

    Like

  19. Mimi – This is no joking matter and one I can help you with. I regularly assist people with your particular problem. I am very good at persuading website owners to remove content. I offer to do that for you.

    I am familiar with the “contract” you reference. It is invalid and does not bind you. I suspect you also executed a “model’s release” as part of that agreement. It, too, is invalid.

    I apologize for the jokes I made above at your expense. Allow me to make it up to you.

    Like

  20. Im afraid my kids will see those pics someday.

    Like

  21. I understand. You don’t need to be afraid any longer. It is time for those who did this to you, the ones who you are afraid of, to be afraid of you. Let me help. paulboylan@aol.com

    Like

  22. okay

    Like

  23. Being that we already seem to be sharing factors regarding NEWS FLASH: DOCTOR DIES IN CHIMNEY PEOPLE OF EARTH: ATTENTION, Law is a significantly more sophisticated tool in the orchestration of the day-to-day organisation of society, through regulating not only personal conduct but also the way we act in business situations. Take for example the everyday task of boarding a train. The law regulates many aspects of this feat: (1) the criminal law and the constitution permits us to board public transport. (2) The constitution permits us to make contract with another. (3) The laws of contract permit us to form a contract for transport with the train company, and ensure that that contract is fulfilled. (4) The laws of contract and tort allow us to board without fear of injury, or with remedy should the worst happen. Finally the law of ownership and currency allows us to hand over money in consideration for this service, which is of value to the other contracting party. In fact, the law regulates just about everything we do, and is vital in doing so to ensure the smooth running of community and every aspect of our lives.

    Like

  24. That is possibly the weirdest comment anyone has ever made in my blog. I realize you are advertising, but the stuff about how the “constitution provides us broad public transport….” was over-the-top bizarre. More importantly, your spam is not an effective advertising tool. What I read had the opposite effect of what you clearly hoped it would achieve. I would never, never hire you to represent me in any kind of legal action and would never, ever recommend you to anyone seeking an attorney.

    Like

  25. “The same thing happens to lawyers” — now that’s pretty funny.

    Like

  26. paulboylan Says:

    Thank you. I thought it was funny, too. But none of my regular readers are attorneys, so the joke has been more or less wasted – until now.

    Like

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