HEADLINE – Attack is North Korean bid for attention

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By Rhappee Kanasta, Ass. Press Reporter

SOUL -A frustrated North Korea is lashing out again, this time with a deadly volley of artillery aimed at reminding rival South Korea — and the world — that it will not be ignored.


Pariah nations attack their neighbors  for a very simple reason, according to Los Angeles Area pediatrician Krista Schnurstein, MD.  It works.

“Attacking a neighboring nation gets the neighboring nation’s attention,” Schnurstein said. “A sudden rain of high explosive artillery shells is effective because the neighboring nation can’t not attend to it.”

Isn't that a double-negative?

“Pariah nations are remarkably skilled at using techniques that push buttons that, in turn, launch missiles,” Schnurstein continued.


“North Korea’s type of response though, is something we usually see in an older, better-established nation, so I wonder where North Korea saw this modeled.”

“Fortunately it doesn’t matter. What matters is how the world responds.  South Korea is off to a great start by telling North Korea that if it fires artillery at South Korean cities, then South Korea will cancel future play dates.  In the meantime it is important to avoid putting on a show that will encourage future bids for attention.”

Goose-stepping, high kicking North Korean military hot babes (on the march).

Schnurstein suggests responding to this recent North Korean aggression with a subtle approach.  “Try some humor. Say something like, ‘Oh! You scamp! Attacking our cities was hilarious!’”


“Have a good laugh and then add, ‘Of course we all know that North and South Korea care about each other and have a wonderful time together!'”


“Let it go and back off and observe what North Korea does next.”

“If North Korea goes for more drama, then follow through with leaving immediately and taking a break for a while. Be sure to follow up with heart to heart talks during neutral times about the situation and ask questions like, ‘Could it be that you are destroying South Korean cities to get South Korea’s attention?’”  Schnurstein suggested.


To avoid being attacked, Schnurstein advises South Korea not to wait until it is attacked. “It’s important for South Korea to respond to that first bid for attention,” Schnurstein said. “If South Korea is on the phone or in the middle of a conversation, make eye contact with North Korea and put a finger up, so North Korea knows South Korea will be there in a minute. Then give North Korea your attention as soon as you can politely do so.”


South Korean political strategist, Kim Li Kim, disagrees. “Perhaps the best and most effective approach would be to bomb them back into the Stone Age,” Kim suggested.

“Really, it wouldn’t take much to accomplish. Most of North Korea is already living in the Stone Age, and the ruling elite are few in number.”

“A couple well-placed nukes would eliminate the North Korean problem once and for all,” Kim concludes.

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10 Responses to “HEADLINE – Attack is North Korean bid for attention”

  1. I’m sorry but I’m an old-fashioned country and I don’t agree with Krista Schnurstein. Left unchecked in the past, this attention-seeking behaviour has slid into full-fledged bullying and even criminal activity. Wimpy solutions like refusing to play won’t work now (if they ever would have). That’s clearly how Enkay (as he likes to be called) got to be like this. If he wants attention, I say give it to him. Right now he’s all “Oh I’m so tough, they’ve put me in the naughty corner but I don’t care ‘cos all the other countries are scared of me”. He’s quite comfortable in the naughty corner – there’s no motivation in that for him to change.

    Frankly I think he needs a good smack. Not on the peasants or the army either. He really couldn’t care less about those & won’t even feel it. Smack him right in the head, hard. I know, I know – that can cause loss of coordination and kill off the leadership cells – but the great thing about countries is that they can grow a new leadership when the old one dies. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes not but this one really sucks. Here’s a thought. Why not talk to his old friend China and offer him the chance to clean Enkay up after his smacking? Esskay wouldn’t really want to do it would he? He’d probably go broke. Enkay could become a sort of friendly and much more accessible bridge between China, Esskay and the rest of us.

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  2. I would blow something of theirs up. Like a theme park dedicated to Kim Crook. Surely that would s**t him. Or send in the special forces to deface his statues with moustaches….

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  3. Love all the tags you’ve got going there Paul, they wouldn’t also be an attempt to gain attention would they? Maybe the DPRK should come to you for some advice!!

    Best thing to say to North Korea is “no dinner for you until you stop your tantrum” How true that will be…..

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  4. I would so be on board if North Korea’s leader was a hot naked asian chick with her own serpent like in the photo you provided.

    I’m sorry what were you talking about?

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  5. My concern – shared by many professional thinking persons – is that their leader secretly believes he IS a hot naked asian chick with her own serpent.

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  6. hi wow nice

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  7. eh3q5666666hk4

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  8. beautiful girl

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  9. paulboylan Says:

    Thank you, and I agree.

    Like

  10. ann romney…

    […]HEADLINE – Attack is North Korean bid for attention « PEOPLE OF EARTH: ATTENTION[…]…

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