HEADLINE – Africa’s “terrible hairy fly” found in Kenya
NAIROBI (Reuters) – After a long search, authorities in Kenya have finally located an insect dubbed the “terrible hairy fly,” experts said on Wednesday.
“This is no ordinary fly,” said Scooter Iverson, Director of the Kenyan Institute of Civility in Nairobi. “Most flies are fairly courteous and well-mannered. But this fly is truly terrible. This fly habitually ‘dines and dashes’ at restaurants, running out without paying his bill. He stole a wheelchair from a crippled child. He has sexually harassed countless woman. And his lack of commonly expected grooming is simply shocking.” Iverson says.
“Get that camera out of my face,” says the fly to reporters attempting to obtain an interview. “No one can prove anything. It wasn’t me – it was some other hairy fly. I am being discriminated against because of my religion. I harassed no one,” the fly shouted before driving off in a 1971 Honda 600 Coupe.
A friend of mine was moving from Melbourne to Brisbane, a journey of 1000 miles, same distance as L.A. to Denver. When I showed up, it was in that very style of car, 1974 in Orange. It was a pretty special journey, as cabin noise made conversation and music nearly impossible. I coped by thinking of it as two days in a isolation tank. Once my brain came up with that excuse, it became strangely relaxing.