HEADLINE – Will Kate Middleton wear a tiara for the royal wedding?
Yes, friends, this is a real headline. Don’t believe me? Click here and see for yourself. WRk
But, in all honesty, who really gives a flying f**k? Anyone? Really? If you do, you desperately need to get a life, or a hobby, or something to occupy your abysmally vacant mind.
Posted in Anyone enraptured by royal weddings is an idiot, dada, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, I have a bridge for sale you simply must purchase!, I’m not kidding, morbidly obese celebrities, News, Paying Attention, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Semi Fake News, Stupid People, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?
DAVIS – Should Paul Boylan don a tiara tomorrow when he eats his customary morning bowl of bran cereal, he will be joining a tradition which goes all the way back to the leaders of ancient Persia. “The upright tiara, the privileged head-dress of the Persian Kings while eating breakfast,” quotes the Oxford English Dictionary from a 19th Century history book. The word comes from Greek, and partly Italian, via Latin. As if it matters. Which it doesn’t, but we put that bit of trivia here because, well, just because we have a lot of space to fill and very little to say and wikipedia is just so darned easy to access, even though it is likely it isn’t very accurate or even truthful.
But we digress. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, tiaras. According to wikipedia, notables from popes to princesses have been wearing tiaras for centuries when they eat breakfast, and it is rumored that Boylan has a treasure trove of tiaras that have been passed down from generation to generation of some notable family that one of Boylan’s ancestors robbed blind sometime in the early 18th Century. Tiaras are properly worn not only while eating bran cereal – because bowel health is important, especially for the elderly – tiaras are an essential part of anyone’s breakfast wardrobe. There’s the spectacular “Indian” tiara, made for Queen Victoria, and worn by Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother when she ate a large bowl of stewed prunes for breakfast during her State Visit to France in 1933. The bowl she ate from was chinese porcelain from the Ming Dynasty period, or at least that is what it says on wikipedia. It is widely rumored the Queen Mum ate those prunes using her hands with great gusto, audibly manifesting her pleasure, and the resulting mess caused undue embarrassment due to French ridicule over the brown goo covering the Queen Mum’s face and hands coupled with the loud “yummy sounds” she made as she ate, resulting in a pivotal loss of British prestige and influence and quite possibly contributing to Hitler’s rise due to the resulting European power vacuum, but those rumors cannot be verified.
NEXT: Gaddafi performs puppet show for children.
This entry was posted on March 5, 2011 at 12:46 p03 and is filed under dada, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, News, Paying Attention, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Stupid People, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.