HEADLINE – Japan vows to review nuclear safety standards

In response to charges of criminal regulatory negligence that resulted in the clearly apparent failure to build and maintain safe nuclear reactors, the Japanese government vowed to review Japan’s nuclear safety standards.

“We will review them, if we can find them,” promised Ken Fujikuma, Head of the Japanese Nuclear Industry Regulatory Commission and Late Night Drinking Games.

Fujikuma also pledged to “look into” the wisdom of running while holding scissors and playing Russian Roulette with fully loaded hand guns.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110329/ap_on_bi_ge/as_japan_earthquake;_ylt=AqGOpu9PvKLz0Dh77MPCoIys0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFoOGJ1Ymw0BHBvcwMyNwRzZWMDYWNjb3JkaW9uX3RvcF9zdG9yaWVzBHNsawNqYXBhbnZvd3N0b3I-

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6 Responses to “HEADLINE – Japan vows to review nuclear safety standards”

  1. Shouldn’t they be looking into the standards for earthquakes and Tsumanis?

  2. paulboylan Says:

    I am assured that the Japanese Nuclear Energy Industry will study the standards for earthquakes and tsunamis after they determine, through clinical trials, the levels of automobile antifreeze that is safe for premature infants to consume. But right after that they will get right on reviewing whether it is safe to build light water nuclear reactors in earthquake zones that are subject to tsunami destruction because they are built right near the sea. Oh yeah, and they will also research the wisdom of their past decisions not use sea water to cool the cores of tsunami damaged nuclear reactors because the sea water might corrode the metal a bit. But let’s face it – it is a much wiser business decision to risk a core meltdown than to risk a bit of corrosion, don’t you think?

  3. During our state elections on Saturday I tried to sell my plutonium ingot to The Greens cohort but they weren’t interested. Should I now be worried about it suffering corrosion? I do live close to the ocean. The ingot is wrapped in brown paper which I thought would afford it a high level of protection from mosquitos, sand flies and flying foxes but am unsure about corrosion. Or should I just give up my fanciful ideas and sell it on eBay? I’m interested in your thoughts on the matter.

  4. paulboylan Says:

    Corrosion reduces the value of plutonium ingots as a collectable. I’ve been to plutonium ingot/gun/doll shows and know from personal experience that a corroded plutonium ingot doesn’t fetch a third of the price that a nice shiny one commands.

    My advice is to sell it on Ebay and characterize the corrosion as a “patina.” Those who shop on Ebay are idiots and one of them may fall for it.

    As for your storage method, a paper bag is fine, especially if you characterize the any corrosion to your flesh as a “patina.”

  5. Bravo, Mr. Boylan. You know your bureaucrats. But I must take issue with your “patina” idea. Those who shop on ebay professionally know how to spot those gems and nab them for pennies on the dollar in the closing moments. Therbs needs to shine that puppy up and take it to reputable dealer. The increased profit will more that pay the commission, and his future chemotherapy.

  6. Hah! Amateurs. The correct term for corroded items listed on eBay is “Antique”.

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