HEADLINE – PR campaign for the apocalypse seems to be working

Heaven is apparently going to be minority-free.

MUNCIE –  Evangelical American Christians are not satisfied predicting the end of the world. So they hired a public relations firm to convince the rest of the world that the end is near.

 “More people than ever before are open to the idea of the End of Days,” says Ralf Rabinowitz, Chief Account Executive at Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz & Murphy, one of the world’s top PR firms with corporate offices headquartered in New York City.

Ralf Rabinowi

 “We started with some catchy slogans,” said Rabinowitz. “ ‘The apocalypse is great!’ has appeared on bill boards everywhere in five languages. ‘Capture the Rapture’ was my own idea,” Rabinowitz continued.

 It seems to be working.

 “If you asked me how I felt about the end of the world a year ago, I would have been skeptical,” said Phil Henderson of Fort Wayne, New Jersey. “But now I feel, what the hell, why not?”


Phil Henderson

“As long as I am among those who are yanked up to heaven when the rapture comes, then I am for it,” said Samantha Dunning of Mar Vista, California. “Everyone else can just go to hell. Literally.”

Samantha Dunning (right)

 Evangelical churches have poured millions of dollars into the PR campaign to convince non believers that the end is near.

 “It’s good for business,” said Harold Camping, an evangelical radio preacher who has predicted the end of the world six times in the last 20 years. “As long as the money keeps rolling in, I plan on keep predicting Doomsday.”

Harold Camping

Camping owns a corporation that manufactures the materials used to make signs announcing the end of the world.

Cha – ching!

 Source: http:// pr-campaign-for-the-apocalypse-seems-to-be-working

Racist Christians are in for a surprise.

12 Responses to “HEADLINE – PR campaign for the apocalypse seems to be working”

  1. Blondie was the first person to predict it I think. But she didn’t mention Jesus … it was something about a man from Mars in a Subaru …


  2. Yeah, but I am going to clean up on my post rapture pet care service.


  3. I missed the May 21st Rapture – I went Camping.


  4. bondiboy66 Says:

    I sat around drinking beer and awaiting the rapture – might as well have a beer whilst greeting Doomsday! Then the beer ran out, instead of rising up to heaven I just collapsed into bed. But that was rather heavenly in it’s own way.


  5. paulboylan Says:

    How do any of us know that Camping wasn’t right? Just because he and all of his followers got “left behind” doesn’t discount the possibility that God saw fit to take others – maybe one or two – up to heaven, leaving the rest of us to go through the tribulation. Camping may have gotten the date right, but was totally wrong about what it takes to gain divine favour.

    Which would be a delicious irony, and it is well-recognized that God loves such ironies.


  6. Don’t know if Jesus returned, but reading the morning paper shows you were right, pnb, many believers were taken up to heaven; leaving us to continue on with those who planted the bombs and shot the guns.
    The lord works in mysterious ways, or so I’ve heard.


  7. Well if that is the case, PNB, he may have better taste than I at first suspected.


  8. I thought the rapture was meant to be about planking. Imagine my surprise when my sea monkeys who were practising their planking ascended and I was left behind. Now I have to get more sea monkeys.
    Stupid rapture.


  9. Very informative post. Thanks for taking the time to share your view with us.


  10. toasty redhead Says:

    I never thought of it that way, well put!


  11. Thank you for a great post.


  12. new york construction accident attorney Says:

    I saw this really ugly insect today. I would like to share it with you.


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