HEADLINE – Radio host says Rapture actually coming in October

OAKLAND, Calif. – California preacher Harold Camping said Monday his prophecy that the world would end was off by five months because Judgment Day actually will come on Oct. 21.

 

“When I was making my mathematical calculation, I inadvertently forgot to carry the 2,” Camping admitted. “Next time I will double check my math,” he promised.

 

“But there won’t be a next time because this time I am absolutely certain that the world is going to end on October 21,” Camping insisted.

 

When the Rapture didn’t arrive Saturday, crestfallen followers began turning their attention to more earthly concerns.

 

John Biberson had figured the gas money he spent driving back and forth from Long Island to New York City would be worth it, as long as people could see the ominous five foot neon sign atop his car warning that the End of the World was nigh.

 

“I’ve been mocked and scoffed and cursed at and I’ve been through a lot with this lighted sign on top of my car,” said Biberson, 49, a former television producer. “I was doing what I’ve been instructed to do through the Bible, but now I’ve been stymied. It’s like getting slapped in the face. Thanks a lot, God. Thanks for making me waste $20,000 on that sign,” he said.

 

“No one warned me that God could be such a jerk,” he said.  “A loving, all seeing, all knowing God would have ended the world so that I could avoid looking foolish,” a very bitter Biberson concluded.


Source:  http://news.yahoo.com/ 5

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8 Responses to “HEADLINE – Radio host says Rapture actually coming in October”

  1. Have any of these people considered that perhaps God is just fracking with them?

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  2. … or laughing at them for that matter?

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  3. Camping hasn’t checked his figures properly. (Again). The date is October 21st, 2044. *sigh* Do I have to do EVERYTHING for you, Harold?

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  4. I’m picking before 2250 …. sometime in September …. 21st sounds good to me.

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  5. I reckon it’ll be in the Year 2525.

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  6. Your just jealous because when the world ends I’m going to heaven and your going to be left behind with all the other liberals and gays and minorities and that’s why I am praying as hard as I can for God to destroy the world because Jesus loves me and hates you and in heaven I can eat all I want and not get fatter.

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  7. HA! I say HA@ You are pathetic in your infantile belief in the big friend in the sky who favors your ignorant ass for reasons you yourself cannot articulate because you are SO stupid. The world is NOT going to end, you pathetic stupid person. If there is a god, which there is not, then this god would certainly not make it so easy for you. Pick you up out of that squalid trailer park where you live and fly you up to heaven with your dirty fingernails, big hair and poor vocabulary? Are you kidding? Do you still believe in Santa Claus, too? Destroying the world is just too easy an out for idiots like you. God, if he or she exists, which he or she does not, wants you to keep suffering. And that;s why the world is not going to end. Get used to it. You are unemployed because you are uneducated and unskilled. God isn’t going to save you from your own lack of discipline and poor personal choices. You’re stuck here and now living unwashed hand to toothless mouth with no hope of it ever getting any better no matter how much you pray for it to end. God doesn’t favor you. God doesn’t even notice you. You think the creator of the universe actually hears your pathetic inarticulate prayers? Why would he or she? You’re a low class moron who believes in fairy tales. You think you were created in God’s image? You think God looks or acts or thinks like you? You think God is fat and lazy? You think God doesn’t read, can barely write and can’t do basic math? You think God buys most of what he or she eats from convenience stores? You think God watches and believes Glenn Beck?

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  8. @PTL Gal – pure gold!
    @NOGOD – Yes! Yes! Yes! And yes again! The Flying Spaghetti Monster told me so. So please join us Pastafarians as we indulge in Eternal Noodliness.

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