HEADLINE – Australia’s burping cows more climate friendly than thought

CHINAMAN’S KNOB, Vic – A recent study confirms that Australian cows, known for their prolific burping, are environmentally progressive and support new conservation policies.

“Australian cows are united in their support for a carbon tax,” said Bluey Simcowitz, spokesperson for the Australian Burping Bovine Foundation, a special interest organization focused on advancing the interests of Australian burping cows.

“Burping cows are also interested in pursuing local and national legislation promoting recycling,” said Simcowitz.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110527/sc_nm/us_australia_cows-

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8 Responses to “HEADLINE – Australia’s burping cows more climate friendly than thought”

  1. All very well these cows from Chinamen’s Knob, in their expensive dairies. What about the cows in the working class saleyards is anyone asking their opinion.

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  2. I have been working with the ABBF on a long term solution to this problem. The methane, which is of course 26x worse as a greenhouse gas than CO2, is the inevitable product of a ‘grass’ diet. The answer is obvious, convert the cows to a carnivorous existence! Using the advanced genetic manipulation techniques covered in my Mad Scientology degree studies, together with volunteers from the ABBF, I have perfected a serum which will alter the digestion & dentition of Australia’s millions of cattle, turning them into carnivores overnight.

    Would you like me to send you some samples Herr Boylan? You too could be the saviour of your nation. Texas ranchers could ‘graze’ their carnivorous Longhorns on the stock of the despised sheep-herders!

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  3. I have found the meat of burping cows to be more tender than that of farting cows so I unreservedly support the ABBF. As for Mr Barnes’ quip about the working class ‘saleyard’ cows may I just add that bogan cows have no place in the formulation of national policy. It is simply a recipe for madness, as opposed to my recipe for well burped Angus scotch fillet.

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  4. That recipe for madness would be popular in England, Therbs, as it would be an alternative to their current practice (introduced by Guy Fawkes) of burning and burying their Mad Cows. When will your Cookbook be available?

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  5. I, for one, welcome our bovine overlords. It would be hilarious … and we could shit anywhere.

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  6. paulboylan Says:

    Are you implying that you cannot do that presently?

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  7. I like paulboylan.wordpress.com , bookmarked for future reference!

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  8. paulboylan Says:

    DZ – fuck you. I don’t need your pity.

    I want to eat Australian cow. I want to eat Bedak White Tail. I deeply resent the cold, hard fact that, although I will be investing time and money to travel to Oz, I won’t get the chance eat the Squire’s unique beef.

    Damn you, God! How DARE you deny me my desire??? Have you forgotten our arrangement???

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