THE SECRET TO MY EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL AND HAPPY MARRIAGE

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Sex?  Sex is overrated.  Good sex is not the key to a successful and happy marriage.

Don’t get me wrong – sex is great.  Good sex is even better. And it is key.  But, in all honesty, by itself, it isn’t enough. I know plenty of guys great in bed who ended up alone.

The secret to my incredibly successful and happy marriage is the simple fact that, at least once a day, I make my wife laugh.

I don’t even pretend to understand it.  But, for some incredibly fucking mysterious reason, the tides of time and evolution have programmed women to want to be with men who make them laugh.

I think it has something to do with demonstrating that you “care.”  I don’t know what that means. Seriously.  I am, at rock bottom, an average guy. I have no idea what women want or need, especially when it comes to “caring” – which seems so important to women, but is so alien to men.

But, in order to make a woman laugh, you have to really, really, understand her. You have to know exactly those aspects of her personality and psyche that trigger a belly laugh. Preferably an uncontrollable belly laugh.  Yes. That is the best.  When your woman experiences an uncontrollable belly laugh that you engendered it is an amazing event, a magical moment, and it ends with love light shining out of her eyes.

And to be able to do that, a man must truly understand his woman. And, perhaps, that demonstrates the “caring” women seem to crave.

Whatever. Tonight I am waiting for the exactly perfect time, the perfect moment when something I say results in my wife, the love of my life, involuntarily laughing, with – if God is with me – champagne shooting out of her nose.

Verweile doch; du bist so schön. So, so schön.

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20 Responses to “THE SECRET TO MY EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL AND HAPPY MARRIAGE”

  1. My wife laughs at me all the time.

    not sure she is laughing in a good way?

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  2. Spot on, Prof – give good laugh, get good lovin’.

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  3. 100%. The better ‘alf laughed so much last night she had a coughing fit (bit of asthma) but when I apologised, she said “It was worth it.” Try telling your wife what I’d heard, that ladies who are strongly attracted to a male experience either a “wide-on” or a “clit-boner”. I was horrified of course, but that just seemed to make it funnier.

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  4. What?

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  5. I never knew Ventolin could do that …

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  6. I like you, Melbo. I really do. If not for you I would not have discovered the joys that are Tim Tams. But I am forced by my advanced sense of propriety to opine that what you say, here, boarders on the inappropriate.

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  7. So to speak.

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  8. I seem to have expressed myself poorly. I will now retire in shame. Let us never speak of this again. (And it was Kate Miller-Heidke who came up with those very evocative terms).

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  9. Save space for me. When the Prof is appalled, you know you’ve gone too far …

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  10. Truly? I hope that is not true. I am only appalled when it is funny to be appalled.

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  11. But let me tell you: the next time I am in Melbourne, I am hosting a blow-out dinner. Will you and a guest of your choice be attending?

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  12. I’ll stick with sex. Seems to work for us

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  13. Philistine.

    (where are you located? I want to eat and drink with you next October)

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  14. Prof, just try and stop me.

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  15. Then it will be done.

    Desire is destiny. Especially mine.

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  16. YAY PNB in Melbourne next October

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  17. Lovely post, Paul. A sense of humour is vital to any relationship. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man if he didn’t have a funny bone. Hope to see you this Oct [not next, Barnesm], PNB. Joanna :))

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  18. Are you having a laugh?
    (Is he having a laugh?)
    (I think he’s having a laugh!)

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  19. I suspect you have a funny bone, Therbs.

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  20. Philistinic it may be but I think it’s all about the sex. Specifically with other people.

    Like

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