HEADLINE – CHINESE PAGEANT OFFICIALS INSIST ON PERFECT CO-ED NIPPLES

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BEJING -­ A contest to select the 10 most beautiful university students in Hubei Province requires applicants to prove the distance between their nipples is greater than 20 centimeters, the Changjiang Times reports.

 “We want the winners to be extremely good-­‐looking,” said Wu Junsheng, the contest organizer and person assigned to measure the contestants beasts to verify nipple distance. “We have based our criteria both on traditional Chinese and more modern Western aesthetic values,” Junsheng  told the Global Times.

 “Accurate measurements are very important. Depending on the girl, sometimes I have to measure over and over again just to be sure. Sometimes photographs are helpful in determining proper nipple symmetry,” Junsheng added.

 “Junsheng is clearly some kind of sick fuck,” said Kuan Hsin-­‐chi, a Professor in Pageantry at the University of Bejing. “But sick fuck or not, Junsheng has a point. Nothing is more sexually unattractive than a woman with asymmetrical nipples.

“Except for a fat chick with asymmetrical nipples. That’s just gross,” Hsin-­‐chi concluded.

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8 Responses to “HEADLINE – CHINESE PAGEANT OFFICIALS INSIST ON PERFECT CO-ED NIPPLES”

  1. Are we talking distance as in the crow flies or are peaks and valleys taken into account? And if so, does that mean that it is the bigger boobs that win or the smaller ones? Because I would have thought that bigger boobs would rate more highly irrespective of the distance between the nipples but maybe I am basing this on a western-centric point of view … I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?

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  2. My question is what am I going to find if I Google “perfectly spaced nipples”?

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  3. Please make sure you tell me when you do.

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  4. Melbo: Actually, you aren’t over thinking it. You’ve made an important point about ethnocentric standards for beauty.

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  5. Heh heh heh. You said ‘nipples.’

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  6. Sadly, all I found was a plethora of articles repeating this story…

    …oh and this http://projectlastchance.com/index.php/still-perfect/

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  7. Funny. Especially the bit where you said that Wu Junsheng was the person assigned to measure the contestants ‘beasts’.

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  8. You’re the only one who caught that “typo.” I laughed and laughed.

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