HEADLINE – DONALD TRUMP SAYS “VENGEANCE IS A CHRISTIAN VALUE”

 

“Jesus wants me to take vengeance against my hair stylist.”

MUNCIE –   During a speech on Monday at the Lynchburg, Virginia Christian college, Liberty University, Donald Trump gave the assembled Christian students some advice: “Get even.”

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“A few of you may say my advice is anti-Christian. Wrong!” Trump said.

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A student pointed out that Trumps advice conflicts with Christ’s Sermon on the Mount recorded in chapters 5-7 of the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus tells his followers to reject the Old Testament rules on eye-for-an-eye justice and, if slapped, turn the other cheek rather than retaliate.

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 “Don’t believe any of that malarky,” Trump responded.  “Jesus was being misquoted by the liberal media.”

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The liberal media makes Jesus very, very angry.

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“Believe me, the central message of Christianity is “every man for himself” and “always kick a man when he’s down because there is no better time to do it,” Trump said.

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Trump, married three times, then advised the assembled students to get prenuptial agreements before they get married.

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“Jesus wasn’t married and I know why,” Trump said.  “It is because they didn’t have prenuptial agreements in those days so if you got married you were screwed if you wanted to get out of it, especially if you had a lot of money and the woman seduced you because she wanted your money.  But Jesus avoided all of that by not getting married. I’m not saying he didn’t play the field. He just didn’t get married.  I am absolutely sure that, if Jesus had access to a prenuptial agreement, he would have been married. At least once.”

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Maybe more than once.

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The university has posted a video of Trump’s speech on its website, noting that Chancellor Falwell introduced Trump as ”one of the greatest visionaries of our time.”

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6 Responses to “HEADLINE – DONALD TRUMP SAYS “VENGEANCE IS A CHRISTIAN VALUE””

  1. “Jesus wasn’t married and I know why,” Trump said…. obviously he isn’t aware of the recent find

    “The research centers on a fourth-century papyrus fragment containing Coptic text in which Jesus uses the words “my wife.” On Tuesday, Harvard Divinity School professor Karen King announced at an international conference that the fragment was the only existing ancient text in which Jesus explicitly talks of having a wife”.

    I suspect if the rest of the document was found it would read “take my wife, please” yes that stand up routine is that old.

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  2. I don’t think Jesus was exactly swimming in cash.

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  3. I doubt Trump is interested in anything that doesn’t feed his hubris, including biblical scholarship.

    The 4th Century fragment doesn’t count for much, being far beyond the dates when the canonical gospels were (probably) written:

    Mark: c. AD 65–70s
    Matthew: c. AD 70–100s
    Luke: c. AD 80–100s
    John: c. AD 90–100s

    These dates represent the majority view. There is no consensus (not a surprise). But these dates are at least within the lifetime of those who may have had personal contact with Christ (presuming without hard evidence that he actually existed).

    None of the canonical gospels mention Christ’s wife. There is no chance that the 4th Century fragment could have been written by anyone who wasn’t making the whole thing up.

    I focus most on Mark and Matthew because, being written closest to Christ’s death, they stand the best chance of more accurately reflecting what Jesus did and said. I discount John almost completely; I think it was written by someone far distant from the beginning of Christianity. For example, John places the cleansing of the temple early in Jesus’ “career” whereas the other three place the cleansing close to the end. The majority view is that it was drafted in bits and pieces over many years, which only adds to the manifest confusion within John.

    And, for the records, I adhere to the Orthodox view of Revelations, i.e., that it is interesting but was written too late and under suspicious circumstances to be spiritually meaningful, let along prophetic.

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  4. Melbo – then why is he always depicted in fine robes and jewels? And how do you think he could afford to pay the expenses of such a large entourage? Ask any wealthy person who considers themselves a Christian and they will tell you that Chris was swimming in cash.

    And remember: “fuck the poor” is the new motto of protestant Christians throughout the United States. How could they turn their backs on the poor if Jesus himself didn’t do it – when no one was looking?

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  5. Fuck the Poor is a politically acceptable motto. We once had a PM whose motto was disturbingly similar:

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/rudd-flips-the-bird-and-drops-f-word/story-fn7x8me2-1226218981713

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  6. latest Christian news headlines

    HEADLINE – DONALD TRUMP SAYS “VENGEANCE IS A CHRISTIAN VALUE” | PEOPLE OF EARTH: ATTENTION

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