HEADLINE – ROMNEY PANDERS TO MAINLAND CHINESE FOR CAMPAIGN CASH

MUNCIE – After declaring China the “main enemy” of the United States and promising to start a trade war if elected, Mitt Romney announced plans to ask  Chinese nationals to contribute money to his campaign.

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“I don’t see anything inconsistent or hypocritical about this at all,” Romney said as he attempted to open a window in his private jet flying to Hong Kong to attend a fund raising dinner. “Darned thing is broken,” Romney complained when he failed to find a handle to “roll down” the jet window.

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“When Mitt was in charge of Bain Capital, he oversaw the export of thousands and thousands of American jobs to China,” said Romney Spokesman Trip Whiteman. “The least they can do is toss some cash at him in repayment,” Whiteman added.

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“I love the Chinese,” Romney said. “They are all the right height.  And their workers are grateful for their jobs, they don’t have health insurance, it is very, very difficult to escape poverty, and they like me – which is what I want for America,” Romney concluded.

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He has a vision.

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8 Responses to “HEADLINE – ROMNEY PANDERS TO MAINLAND CHINESE FOR CAMPAIGN CASH”

  1. Warning Godwin approaching

    Like Hitler asking Jewish groups to contribute to his party, or the communist party seeking donations from Ayn Rand.

    When is he going to get back to focusing on the important issues of the campaign like aircraft engineering.

    Like

  2. I saw a protest sign that read “Romney: open a window.”

    Like

  3. I wish it were my work.

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  4. I’m really starting to like this guy.

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  5. I like Chinese too. But I always feel hungry again an hour later.

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  6. I’m happy to install a window winder for him.

    Like

  7. That badly executed middle finger salute wouldn’t earn him the Prime Ministership of this country, I assure you.

    Like

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