HEADLINE – RACIST JUDGE TO “SEMI RETIRE”
BUKRA, Montana – The Obama administration announced today that it will be forcing an openly racist federal judge to retire or be fired.
“Man, I hate negroes,” said Judge Richard Cebull after learning about the President’s decision to replace him. “They are SO sensitive.”
The email Judge Cebull circulated was sent to him by his openly racist brother, Jeb. Judge Cebull forwarded the email on to his friends and family. The email told a joke describing the President’s mother as a woman likely to have sex with dogs because she was willing to have sex with the President’s African father.
“Technically speaking it wasn’t a racist joke because Judge Cebull was making fun of the President’s mother, a white woman,” said Trip Henderson, a white supremacist and an elected member of the Montana State Senate. “I am widely considered an expert on racist jokes – a connaisseur of racial humor, if you will,” Henderson said. “In my racist expert opinion, Judge Cebull’s joke was only semi racist and, if I were judging his joke I would give it a two on a scale of zero to ten with zero being awful and ten being as good as a racist joke can get. Like the one I told last night in church.”
Judge Cebull announced that he would semi-retire from the bench. “I will still be trying cases, but not if any of the parties are black. Or hispanic. Or asian. I don’t like them either. Or A-rabs. I hates me some A-rabs. Tent heads. Sand niggers. But it’s business as usual for everyone else.”