Trip “Trip” Tripperson-Johnson

Prof. Trip “Trip” Tripperson-Johnson

By Prof. Trip “Trip” Tripperson-Johnson

The recent massacre of schoolchildren by an insane gunwielding lunatic has shocked the world. People everywhere are wondering what to do. They asked themselves if there is anything they actually can do.

Before people go off half cocked and do something they will regret – and I am talking about passing laws that violate every American’s God-given right to possess and use firearms – I ask that everyone step back and look at this rationally. There is no need to take guns away from anyone to solve this problem. There is a simple solution to what happened in Connecticut, a solution that does not require repressive and unconstitutional gun control legislation on either the state or the federal level.

1st, let us focus on the problem. The problem is not guns. Guns don’t kill schoolchildren. People with guns kill schoolchildren. We need to focus on who it was who killed those children in Connecticut. Let me just say right out: it was a nut case that killed those kids. A lunatic. 6 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag.

The average red-blooded American gun owner is not crazy.  He or she (probably he) is a responsible, God-fearing Republican who would never take a gun into a school and shoot anyone, except perhaps if his or her (probably his) constitutional rights to bear arms was threatened.

The point is we all agree that crazy people should not have guns. But we also agree that it’s impossible to keep guns out of the hands of crazy people. To insist that any kind of “standards” would infringe on the rights of responsible, God-fearing Republican Americans to buy, own and use guns.

The solution, as I said, is simple. If we want to stop lunatics from taking guns into schools and killing a lot of kids, then we should make sure that every American schoolchild is armed.

If those children in that school had been packing heat – and had been trained in the use of those firearms – that lunatic would’ve gotten off maybe 5 rounds before one of those deadeye tots took them out.

This solution works for everybody. Increased gun sales pumps money into the economy. Possessing firearms will improve the self-esteem of any child, especially little girls.

So instead of using this horrible massacre of schoolchildren as an excuse to pass liberal, socialist, communist laws to restrict the constitutional right to bear arms, let’s sell the problem and uphold the Constitution by passing laws that allow us – heck, require us – to arm our children.


Trip Tripperson-Johnson  is an adjunct professor of  Biblical Studies and Infomercial Science at Cal Poly Needles in California. He is the author of the acclaimed essay “ Why Slavery was Good for Black People” published in the Elders of Zion Law Journal.



  1. I thought it was lack of God and religion in public schools or so Former Arkansas governor and GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said.


  2. huckabee is the anti christ Says:

    huckabee is the anti christ


  3. We need to arm our pets as well.


  4. First of all, they shouldn’t leave the teachers and other staff members unarmed and I also think some changes to gun legislation should be implemented as quickly as possible to prevent such atrocities. I have two children and I can’t even imagine being in a similar situation. When I heard the news I was thinking about the safety regulations in my own country. A few days ago I read an article on my native Vancouver which is often presented as one of the most liveable cities with the safest neighborhoods in the world but only now I realize that you are never truly protected anywhere. And the risks your children are exposed to every day are omnipresent when the safety regulations are imperfect.


  5. The only solution to this problem is to make it more difficult for people who are prone to violence to obtain weapons, and to limit the kinds of weapons that are available. The Second Amendment should not cover the freedom to purchase and use assault weapons.


  6. Really, could a seven year old repeatedly work the slide on a pump action? They are dandy mag carriers & reloaders, ask the LRA.


  7. The real answer is a pre-emptive strike. If we killed everyone now, it would mean that there would be no crazies left to kill people and even if there were there would be no-one left for them to kill.

    You know it makes sense, it can’t fail.


  8. why not just slap on a nappy at birth and tuck in a loaded pistol while you’re at it


  9. Watch it, naut – that idea just might catch on with the pro gun crowd.


  10. There’s no need for pump action, nbob. Once Trip’s ‘guns for children’ laws are passed, you can bet Disney will slap Cinderella or Buzz Lightyear on the side of one of these, quick smart:


  11. Every child should attend school in a tank.


  12. @ CC. I freind emailed me a photo of a real actual extant Hello Kitty TM AR15


  13. Oh, dear. Why doesn’t that surprise me? Only in America….

    By the way – Merry Christmas, Boylans! Have a happy and safe one.


  14. Happy New Year Paul! See you in 2013.


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