HEADLINE – EVIDENCE OF OLDEST MAFIA HIT DISCOVERED
NEWARK – Anthropologists have uncovered a 12,000 year old grave from an ancient Mafia “hit.”
“Twelve thousand years ago two bodies were dumped into a grave, a bouquet of flowers were tossed on top of them, and then the grave was filled with dirt,” said Dr. Edwina Motel, Director of the New Jersey Institute of Archeological Anthropology. “This is the oldest example of a contract killing thus far discovered,” Motel said.
“We got no comment,” said Joe Pamplionani, spokesperson for the Pamplionani crime family. “Look, it happened a long time ago. Who knows what happened? Could have been an accident,” Pamplionani said.