HEADLINE – EVIDENCE OF OLDEST MAFIA HIT DISCOVERED

buried with flowers

NEWARK – Anthropologists have uncovered a 12,000 year old grave from an ancient Mafia “hit.”

“Twelve thousand years ago two bodies were dumped into a grave, a bouquet of flowers were tossed on top of them, and then the grave was filled with dirt,” said Dr. Edwina Motel, Director of the New Jersey Institute of Archeological Anthropology. “This is the oldest example of a contract killing thus far discovered,” Motel said.

“We got no comment,” said Joe Pamplionani, spokesperson for the Pamplionani crime family. “Look, it happened a long time ago. Who knows what happened? Could have been an accident,” Pamplionani said.

7 Responses to “HEADLINE – EVIDENCE OF OLDEST MAFIA HIT DISCOVERED”

  1. When asked for comment the site manager was heard to rely in a New York Accent.

    I didn’t do noth’n
    I didn’t see noth’n
    and this statement has not been rehearsed.

    Like

  2. Say Mr Boylan, youse sounds like a real wisenheimer to me. But maybe it’s better ya don’t crack too wise, capice? We’se all got a few skeletons in our cupboards – or in a ditch in the hills in this case. We know what you done in Paris, see, and neither of them ladies or the chicken has ever been the same since. So maybe you keep quiet and maybe we keep quiet. We got a deal?

    Like

  3. The chickens, they are liars.

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  4. Sounds like a turf war to me. What other reason would there be for anthropologists fingering the Pamplionanis?

    Oh, grow up. You know what I mean by ‘fingering’.

    Like

  5. paulboylan Says:

    No. I do not know what you mean by “fingering.”

    Like

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