HEADLINE – OFFICIALS CEASE WHALE RESCUE EFFORT

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TAMPA, Florida –  Florida state officials have officially stopped their efforts to rescue ten pilot whales stranded in the Florida Everglades.

“Screw those whales,” said Cooter Babcock, appointed as Head Whale Rescuer by the State of Florida.

“I hate whales,” Babcock admitted.  You can’t hunt ’em. You can’t eat ’em. And you can’t claim you killed ’em because they made you afraid for your life.  No jury would believe that. Not even in Florida,” Babcock concluded.

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Not a whale.
Not a whale.

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3 Responses to “HEADLINE – OFFICIALS CEASE WHALE RESCUE EFFORT”

  1. I would only say a Florida jury probably wouldn’t believe that.

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  2. Cooter seems to know what he is talking about. Very authoritative.

    Like

  3. I would refer you to the classic Derek and Clive Whale Sketch for further reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOZmDsiiXXk

    Fuckin whales!

    Like

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