disgruntled seppo

This is me, disappointed with the Sydney Morning Herald. My disappointment looks a lot like a terrible, preternatural anger, doesn’t it?


People of Earth, I am deeply disappointed with the Sydney Morning Herald.  Allow me to explain why.

As some of my regular visitors know, I feel a strange affinity for Australia and the exceptional people I’ve met there.


Brisbane 1


Brisbane 3


M and S


melbourne 5


Melborune 4


Sunshine Coast Crowd






Melbourne 4


 I have special affection for Sydney.



View from the Rocks

Ouside the Sydney Opera House


View from the Rathouse


Hot sell the good taste


stunning dycotomy


Warrior Princesses


You can imagine my delight when I received this email invitation:

Herald Invite


The Herald explained what they wanted as follows:

The Sydney Morning Herald is challenging you to help us tackle the prevalence of alcohol-related violence and anti-social behavior in Sydney.

Put your ideas to work and create a 30 second video ad or an A4 poster for our Safer Sydney campaign. Your ad should speak to those heading out for the night, especially young men. The winning entry will receive $2,500 as well as being featured across The Sydney Morning Herald newspaper, online and tablet editions.

How could I resist such an invitation?  I myself am guilty of perpetrating alcohol-related anti-social behavior with the very worst hooligans and yobbos Sydney has to offer.


Sydney Hooligans


Sydney Yobbos


The worst of the lot

So I was delighted to have received a request from the Sydney Morning Herald to use my many creative talents to help the good people of Sydney to improve their quality of life.  I snapped into action and put this poster together:



Stay Classy, Sydney


I felt fairly pleased with my effort.  It was pithy and to the point. It directly spoke to those headed out for the night, especially young men – who are always primarily interested in impressing the ladies with the hope of persuading them to engage in sexual congress.  I felt my poster was a sure fire winner.

Then I read the contest rules:


General Terms
1. Information on how to enter forms part of the terms of entry. Entry into the competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions by the entrant (referred to as entrant or you in these terms and conditions).

2. The Promotion is a game of skill, and chance plays no part in determining the winners.

3. Entry is open to residents of Australia only.







  1. I’ve looked at your poster very carefully. Now I want to have a drink and then punch somebody. I fear you may have misunderstood the purpose of this competition.

    Also, I would like your permission to post your, er, poster on Twitter, giving full credit to the creator. I promise you I don’t want anyone, anyone at all, to think that it was connected with me in any way.

    Also also, I have lost count of the occasions on which I have been ineligible for contests, unable to buy or import goods or watch video – all because I don’t live in the US. Bah to you I say and to your customs service and DEA and ATF. Arms export licenses, end-user certificates, nuclear non-proliferation treaties – it’s like you people don’t want to do business?

  2. Permission to repost granted – and that extends to anything I post here.

    As for the seppo dislike of doing business with foreign types – so?

  3. Foreign type!? What nonsense. You have only to look at my avatar to see that I’m an ideal business partner. (And thank you)

  4. I stand corrected, Shiekh.

  5. sfmurphy1971 Says:


    On the Outer Marches

  6. aren’t we all, disappointed in the SMH I mean.

    I am happy to inform the SMH that you are more of an Australian than at least half the population.

    The reason why US citizens are banned goes back to our first Prime Minister who I think had a rude encounter with someone from New York and damned you all in perpetuity.

  7. Yeah, well it still hurts.

  8. It makes me want to get drunk and bash someone. Preferably a tourist. Or an immigrant. Or anyone dressed in designer clothing.

  9. Clearly the SMH editors have no clue regarding skill and talent. Surely an exception could be made!

    Is it beer o’clock yet?

  10. w from brisbane Says:

    Perhaps there was a concern that an alternately cultured person might sensibly, but culturally insensitively, suggest folk just stay off the grog. That might cause some local offence.
    However, your very culturally appropriate message clearly doesn’t do that. In fact, it displays the cheery thumbs up for another one downed, but pleads the case for not taking your shirt off and sitting on the pavement, at night, in a crowd, A good life lesson.
    With that in mind, I would say General Term 3 is more a product of laziness than ill will. But still, it’s a bit crook you are not getting a fair shake of the sauce bottle.

  11. A most excellent poster with brilliant images. S’okay, I’ll just go and king hit the editorial staff. Bunch of fkn wankbadgers.

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