HEADLINE – CLEAR DEFINITION FOR “HABITABLE PLANET” URGED

MUNCIE, Indiana – Experts have issued a call for scientists to establish a clear definition of “habitable planets” to make the search easier. They recommend researchers to take a conservative approach when looking for these planets.

“We want to clearly define what we are wasting our time looking for,” said one of the experts referenced above.

In related news,/after 10 years and at a cost of six million dollars, NASA scientists have finally completed the menu that will regulate what astronauts eat during a space voyage from earth to Mars that will never happen.

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If you haven’t done so yet, visit http://www.marriedtothesea.com.  No matter what your lot in life is, Married to the Sea can only make it better.

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IS BROWN FACE AS OFFENSIVE AS BLACK FACE?

Mitt Romney recently appeared on Univision – a Spanish language television station – in an attempt to appeal to latino voters. hPeople noticed something differentsabout how Romney looked before the Univision appearance and during.  See if you notice any difference:

Romney on September 16, 2012:

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Romney on September 17, 2012:

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Romney on September 18, 2012:

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Romney on September 19, 2012, appearing on Univision:

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I think Romney was drawing inspiration from former Mexican President Vincente Fox.

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“Mi pene es este ancho.”

The person who convinced Romney to rock the soul patch has a lot to answer for.

HEADLINE – Birth control pills get new labeling

MUNCIE, Indiana –  To address concerns with birth control pills that tests showed were ineffective/, Phizer said on Tuesday that all bottles containing birth control pills will include a sticker stating:

“Warning: may not prevent pregnancy.“

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HEADLINE – Scarlett Johansson cellphone pictures aren’t all that smart phone hackers are after

Actress Scarlett Johansson

SANTA MONICA, California – Hackers who broke into movie star Scarlett Johansson’s cellphone and stole nude photos of her admit that they want more than just pictures showing Johansson naked.

“We also want to have sex with her,” admits Ted Hinklehoffer, hacker spokesperson.

Hinklehoffer provided the statement from his secret lair in his mother’s basement.

Source:  http://news.yahoo.com/scarlett-johansson-cellphone-pictures-arent-smart-phone-hackers-164343913.html