MUNCIE, Indiana – A white supremacist racist is coming under fire from other racists for his inaccurate slurs.
Cooter van Poope, a self-professed “crusader and protector of the white race” who lives in Butte, Montana, is being characterized by other racists as a “loose cannon” who does not represent the mainstream American racist movement.
“Van Poope is an idiot,” said Trip Henderson, editor and publisher of the Racist Times, an Internet based news media outlet focused on advancing hatred for non white minorities and homosexuals. “American racism is simple,” Henderson explained. “Jews are cheap, Japs can’t drive, and all Italians belong to the Mafia. How hard is that to remember? Bigotry isn’t rocket science.”
In response to criticism from fellow racists, Van Poope exclaimed “I am sick and tired of all those cods taking siestas, wearing sombreros and and drinking all our tequila.”
A “cod” is a derogatory term for a person of Icelandic nationality or origin that Van Poope made up.
“I invented it,” Van Poope said with pride. “Fucking cods,” he added. “Coming here and taking all our jobs. They’re worse than the Iyoobs. They should go back where they came from.”
Van Poope has his defenders. “Accurate racial and ethnic slurs don’t matter,” said Marylin Davenport, Director of the Angry Institute of Hate Studies in Birmingham, Alabama. “What matters is hate. There is no question that Van Poope is filled to bursting with hate, and that is what his fellow racists should focus on – not on his loose use of racial and ethnic stereotypes.”
Other experts agree. “There is no such thing as a universally accepted racial or ethnic slur,” said Dr. Skip Whiteman, Hateologist Emeritus and Professor of Hateology at Tom Metzger University in Phoenix, Arizona. “There isn’t any executive body of racists who meet annually to decide which racial insults will apply universally to which minority groups. Racial slurs can be random and still effectively manifest and encourage hate,” Whiteman said.
When asked for his opinion on gay rights, Van Poope stated, “All you need to do to keep a faggot occupied is make sure there is plenty of watermelon and fried chicken and cool aide to buy with his food stamps, the lazy shiftless bastards.”
“Don’t even get me started about the filthy, oily, garlic-eating Zimmies,” Van Poope added. “But I admit they are good at math. I’ll give them that.”