Archive for the French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes Category

SUCH A DEAL

Posted in End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Internet Fun!, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, Paying Attention, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Pre Columbian Knock-Knock Jokes, Stupid People, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes on July 8, 2011 by paulboylan

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This is a real advertisement I found on the internet. I bet lots and lots of people jumped at the opportunity for such big savings.

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HEADLINE – Gates rebukes European allies in farewell speech

Posted in Arab Spring, Brave New World, dada, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Headline, Headlines, Humor, News, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rage Against the Machine, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, ruthless dictator knock-knock jokes, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on June 10, 2011 by paulboylan

"I hate you most of all," Gates said.

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OSLO – In an unusually stinging speech, made on his valedictory visit to Europe before he retires at the end of the month, Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates rebuked some of America’s staunchest allies Friday, saying the United States “is sick and tired of all you cheese eating, beer swilling, butt pinching surrender monkeys.”

“It’s been real and it’s been fun,” Gates continued, “but it hasn’t been real fun. I personally am not going to miss any of you, especially the Germans. What is up with you Germans, cozying up to the Russians? You think you can trust them? Really?”

Gates heaped insults upon the stunned and mostly silent foreign dignitaries in the room – and he didn’t stop with Europe.

“And you Muslims, especially you Arab Muslims, snap out of it. This whole jihad thing is just sad. Do what you need to do to put a stop to it. Those few homicidal morons are making all of you look bad. And your “Arab Spring” is a joke. You can yell and scream all you want but it isn’t going to change anything. When push comes to shove, your dictatorial governments will crush you like bugs just as Syria has done and is doing.”

“And Africa,” Gates said. “I am so tired of you people.  Why can’t you just get along?”

“Screw you guys, I’m going home,” Gates concluded and abruptly left the building.


Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/story.html

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HEADLINE – Obama offends carnival barkers

Posted in American Decline, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Isnt nature wonderful?, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Small Town America, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes on May 10, 2011 by paulboylan

MUNCIE – President Obama lost the support of carnival workers and side-show freaks when he compared them to “birthers” – people demanding the President prove he was born in the United States.

“We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers,” Obama said after producing a copy of his long-form birth certificate proving he was born in Hawaii.

“It was like a slap in the face,” said Vinny Slimp, owner of the Slimp Family Circus.

Vinny Slimp

“The President’s comparison could ruin my business,” said Alberto Baracho, a carnival barker employed by the Ten in One Freak Emporium in Pensicola, Florida. “When people look at me now, they see Donald Trump or Orly Taitz, which could persuade them not to pay money to see the Bearded Lady or the Human Lobster.”

Donald Trump

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Orly Taitz

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The Bearded Lady

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The Human Lobster

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“I fully supported Obama in the last election, but that’s over now,” said Jo Jo the Dog Faced Boy.

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Jo Jo the Dog Faced Boy

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Source:  http://carnival-barkers-slam-obama html

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HEADLINE – Elderly Arab recluse killed in robbery

Posted in Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Headline, Headlines, Humor, IN MEMORIAM, Mad Men, News, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on May 9, 2011 by paulboylan

ISLAMABAD –  A prominent Arab recluse was killed during what appears to be a “home invasion” style robbery.

Witnesses say that a notorious gang that calls itself the SEALs forced their way into the elderly man’s Abbottabad vacation home, killed the home owner and some of his house guests and then ran off with the old man’s computers and extensive collection of personal videos documenting his quite home life.

The SEALs are lead by a Kenyan born warlord rumored to be ruthless and tricky.

Pakistani law enforcement officials are investigating.

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HEADLINE – Daily activities could trigger an aneurysms

Posted in French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Headline, Headlines, Humor, News, Photography, Rotwang, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on May 6, 2011 by paulboylan

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They are the things adults do on any given day: exercise, drink coffee, breathe, stand up, sit down, blink, urinate, scratch, eat.

They can also be the very things that cause a lurking brain aneurysm to rupture.

Researchers at the Institute for the Promotion of Irrational Fears and Anxieties in the Netherlands asked patients with brain aneurysms what they were doing shortly before those weakened and bulging blood vessels burst.

They found relatively mundane things like drinking soda, blowing one’s nose, exercising, drinking coffee, breathing, standing up, sitting down, blinking, urinating, scratching or eating often preceded the rupture.

“Anything can cause bad things,” explains Dr. Tad Greenblat.


Greenblat recommends minimizing your risk of suffering a brain aneurysm by doing nothing. ” Don’t exercise, don’t drink soda, don’t drink coffee, don’t breathe, don’t stand up, don’t sit down, don’t blink, don’t urinate, don’t scratch and most definitely don’t eat. Eating is very dangerous,” Greenblat said moving as little as possible.

“Avoiding an aneurysm may mean dying of starvation, but at least a blood vessel won’t explode in your head,” Greenblat concluded.


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Source:  http://www.kob.com/article/stories/html

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The Funniest Poster Ever

Posted in Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Humor, Internet Fun!, Nichola Tesla, Politics, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rage Against the Machine, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, The Wilhelm Scream, Why do people in other countries talk funny? with tags , , , , , , on April 22, 2011 by paulboylan

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You Gotta Love L.A. – UPDATE

Posted in Brave New World, dada, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, Hapax Legomenon, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Our animal friends, Paying Attention, Photography, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Pycho-Social Trauma, The Matrix, Travel, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on April 10, 2011 by paulboylan

A few days ago I posted this photo (sent to me by my good friend, Joseph) to illustrate the bizarre, delightful, dada quality that so typifies Los Angeles:

I charted it out. I made a seven day – 24 hour AM/PM calendar and blocked out all of the days and times described in each sign, many of them overlapping.

The result can be seen below. The hours you cannot park on that street are the ones that are not blacked out.

Click on the chart for a larger version that is easier to read.

I hope this clarifies the situation.

I love LA. Angelenos are required to think in multiple dimensions.

Sort of like what happens when you try to get around via automobile in Central Paris, France.

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