Archive for the Globalization Category

HEADLINE – SLAVERY SUSPECTS ORIGINALLY FROM INDIA AND TANZANIA

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Crime and Punishment, Europe, Fashion Forward, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on November 23, 2013 by paulboylan

A cultural misunderstanding

MUNCIE, Indiana – Officials at Scotland Yard revealed that the two men who allegedly “enslaved” three women were from India and Tanzania and that the incident is the result of a cultural misunderstanding.

“They thought they had legally purchased these women,” explained Sgt. Nigel Himpple of Scotland Yard.

“We were cheated. We want our money back.” said one of the suspects identified currently as “Bruce” due to privacy considerations. “How were we to know women cannot be bought and sold freely? What kind of madhouse is this, where women are treated like men?  Do you also give rights to your goats? Do you let them vote? Do you actually pay them for their labor?” Bruce asked in disgust.

“It is very common in many parts of the world for men to acquire women through marriage or direct purchase – there really is very little difference – and put them to work,” said Professor Rhappee Kanasta, an expert in cultural differences.  “In exchange for their honest labor they are clothed, fed and they are not beaten.  It is a win-win arrangement.”

 

Win-win copy

GEOPOLITICAL OUTLOOK: THE AMERICAN DROUGHT

Posted in Arab Spring, Brave New World, Captain America, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Food, Globalization, Grim Fairy Tales, Isnt nature wonderful?, Politics, The Wrath of God, سياسة on August 19, 2012 by paulboylan

It is often said that when America sneezes the rest of the world catches a cold. Even though the American Century is over, and American power and influence is declining, what happens in the United States still affects the world as a whole.  This has never been more apparent than it is right now: a drought in the United States is going to cause millions to die around the world.

Allow me to explain.

In the last century – especially after World War II – the United States used the lure of its comparative prosperity to seduce the world into remaking itself into America’s economical image. When China finally embraced the Western economic model, it became the 2nd largest economy on Earth in only a few decades.

We now know, however, that the American model was and remains deeply flawed. American-style capitalism, embraced by Europe, Asia, South America, and increasingly embraced by Africa, is essentially a shell game governments play to create the illusion of prosperity which in turn fuels consumption, leading to ultimate breaking points.

Prior to the Bretton Woods Accord, the cycle of boom and bust inherent in American-style capitalism was not much of a problem. The United States’ economy was just one economic system in a world composed of multiple economic systems typified by multiple currencies. It is well understood and accepted that the interplay of these separate economic systems was inefficient, typified by the chaos of international currency exchange rates. However, although inefficient, independent economies insulated the world from global economic crises.

That all changed after World War II. On July 22, 1944, the world’s major industrial states signed an agreement setting up the current world economic order more commonly known as the Bretton Woods Accord. That agreement established the  International Monetary Fund, the World Bank and what ultimately became the World Trade Organization (WTO).

The Bretton Woods Accord, combined with the United States’ unlateral decision in 1971 to terminate the gold standard (i.e., the convertibility of the American dollar to gold), resulted in the U. S. Dollar becoming the reserve currency for the world – which meant that all major international transactions took place in U. S. Dollars, and this essentially transformed the U. S. Dollar into the de facto world currency.

And this is why, even now when America sneezes the rest of the world catches a cold. Even though the American Century is over, and American political power and influence is declining, the entire world is still inextricably tied to the American economic system.

One of the consequences of the American economic model becoming the dominant economic model for all the world is the fungibility of agricultural products. Before the Bretton Woods Accord and the advent of the WTO nations zealously protected their food production capability. Prior to Bretton Woods, the foundation of a country’s national interest was domestic food production capability: wars were won by destroying your opponent’s ability to feed their armed forces.

However, after Bretton Woods such protectionism slowly ended and all nations aspiring to become part of the new, prosperous, economic system were required to place their agricultural production onto the world market. Prior to Brenton Woods the price of a bushel of corn depended on where it was grown and where was sold. After Bretton Woods corn production globally sets the price and a bushel of corn purchased in India costs virtually the same as a bushel of corn purchased in the United States.

Demand and the ability to purchase food dictates food availability.  For example, Dixon California is famous for its lamb production.  However, due to international demand for lamb fueled by growing middle classes in India and China, for short periods of time in 2011 people in Davis – which is a few miles from Dixon – could not purchase lamb; Dixon lamb producers were selling their entire production to Chinese and Indian meat distributors.

Nations can still play games with commodity prices and can engage in acts of quasi-protectionism, such as the recent decision of the United States government to aid American pork producers by buying their products at a higher price than the price the worldwide market imposes in order to ameliorate the effects of the American drought on American pork production. But these  protectionist manipulations only drive the price of agricultural products higher on the international market by reducing the supply.

And that is why millions of people around the world are now facing inevitable hunger and death. Millions of people around the world depend for their lives on surplus American agricultural production that keeps the price of food low enough for them to be able to buy it. The American Heartland –the breadbasket of the world –is experiencing a terrible drought causing a dramatic drop in American agricultural production. This shortage will cause the price of basic staples like rice, corn and soybeans to increase beyond the point where millions of people can afford to purchase them. And this means they are going to starve.

The international economic system dictates where this starvation will occur.  Despite the WTO rules against protectionism, nations that produce food surpluses will manipulate their agricultural systems to make sure that food supplies for their national populations remain affordable. For example, when the United States government purchases pork products from American farmers at prices higher than those dictated by international markets, the United States government supports the ability of those farmers to buy food with prices set internationally.

The same is true for nations with strong natural resource exports, such as Australia, United States, and Russia. Natural resource sales provide the liquid Capital necessary to buy food at inflated world prices.  However, this is true only for nations with robust economies.

For example, Venesuela imports food but exports oil and gas. However, Venesuela’s economy is collapsing; their oil and gas production is dropping due decaying infrastructure that is too expensive to repair.  The government of Venesuela is already bound by long-term contracts with other nations exchanging oil for food at prices set before the American drought. Consequently, Venesuela’s energy exports to not generate liquid capital that can be used to buy food at increasingly expensive international prices.

The nations that will be hardest hit by the consequences of the American drought will be nations that neither produce food surpluses nor export natural resources. Those nations will face food riots and eventual mass starvation.  These nations include Niger, Mali, Chad, Mauritania and Senegal.

We are already seeing signs of this happening. Farmers in Niger are selling their cows, goats and sheep to obtain currency sufficient to buy food.  Nomads dependent on their camels are selling them for the same reason. This is a desperate move and the positive effects are temporary. When the money runs out, they will starve.

China – despite its seeming economic strength and the flexibility of its capitalist dictatorship – is one of the nations that will be hardest hit by the American drought. Although Chinese coastal regions have experienced the benefits of unbridled capitalism in the world economic order, the rest of China is poverty-stricken. Even if this were not true, the Chinese economy is dependent on food and natural resource imports.  Egypt is also vulnerable.

So it is fairly certain that the poorest populations of our world will experience famine, food riots, and starvation. So the question is: how will the world respond?

The answer is fairly clear: the world community will do nothing substantial to prevent the humanitarian disaster that is rapidly approaching. The existing world economic order does not provide mechanisms for any meaningful response to the consequences of the Great American drought. The world’s industrialized powers that are best capable of shifting resources to alleviate world hunger are busy dealing with their own economic crisis. They simple cannot afford to respond to the pending crisis in any meaningful way.

This is not to say there won’t be a lot of activity. Certainly there will be at least one telethon where celebrities from around the world join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony and ask the viewing audience to send money. Nations around the world will contribute millions of dollars toward aid relief. But, beyond the “feel-good” result of such efforts, millions will still die.

This crisis will not be remedied; it will be managed. Food will be distributed as it always is – to those with sufficient political capital to assure their survival. Those without sufficient political capital will die.

There are those who will argue that we should let them die, that all of this is for the best, that this is a result of the earth exceeding its carrying capacity, that there are just too many unproductive people and that their population must be reduced, that if we feed them now, all they will do is reproduce so that even more will die tomorrow.

So it seems quite certain that a lot of people are going to die. But before they die, they will fight. And the authorities controlling food distribution will attempt to suppress any unrest with force.

So the ultimate question is whether or not suppression efforts will succeed. If they succeed, the result is likely to be more repressive governments consequently better able to manage the next round of food riots that are sure to come.

If governmental suppression efforts do not succeed, however, it could lead Revolution.  The French Revolution was caused by food shortage. The Arab spring movement was likely started by a food shortage in Tunisia.

There is really no way to predict what will happen because American corn and soybean farmers did not meet their expected production goals. But it is fairly certain that the world is in for a bumpy ride.

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I received this plea for my help…

Posted in おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Barry Goldwater, buffo, Embarrassing Butt-Shots, Globalization, good guys and bad guys, greannmhar, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, Missile Defense, Mordor, neşeli, Nigerian Prince, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, rimshot wav download, snaaks, The Wilhelm Scream, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Vegemite, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون on February 5, 2012 by paulboylan

I recently received an email from someone in Africa who wants my help.  We’ve all received this kind of email from con artists trying to get us to send them cash in exchange for a share in an eventual fortune.  

Here is the first page of the two page email:

Click on image to enlarge.

As I said, the text is typical – but with one difference that stood out as I read.  In attempting to elicit my sympathy, the author described the horrors of his situation, including:

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Following the brake out of the war, almost all government offices, cooperation’s and prostates were attacked and vandalized.

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I’ve never read this sort of pitch before.  And, truth be told, learning that “almost all prostates were attacked and vandalized” does elicit a visceral reaction.

Those poor men.

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HEADLINE – Tornadoes hit Birmingham

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, Australia, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, пицца, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, gülen yüz, Geopolitical Insults, Globalization, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, 재미, αστείος, Kansas City, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mysterious Mysteries, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, ученые scientists, snaaks, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of God, Travel, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده دار on January 23, 2012 by paulboylan

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BRISBANE, Australia – A series of tornadoes have hit local author and radio personality John Birmingham, causing minor injury.

“This is perfectly normal for this time of year,” said Nick Perriam, Director of the University of Queensland Meteorological Institute in Sydney. “Every January inclement weather sneaks up on and thumps authors as far south as Melbourne, especially those writers demonstrating a history of meteorological defamation,” Perriam explained.

Birmingham went afoul of the elements when he described bad global weather conditions in Without Warning, a novel based in a world where a mysterious force kills virtually all American citizens.

“Bloody weather,” Birmingham complained from the relative safety of his front porch.

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Depicts terrible weather conditions.

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HEADLINE – Ahmadinejad, Chavez taunt US from Caracas

Posted in Ahmadinejad, And now the snorting starts, Common Enemy, Crazy People, Dogs, пицца, Early-onset dementia, Embarrassing Butt-Shots, Evil Smiley Face, Geopolitical Insults, Globalization, good guys and bad guys, Headline, Headlines, 스타게이트유니버스, ανόητο άτομα, Mad Men, morbid obesity, Mordor, News, ученые, Our animal friends, Politics, Religion and Politics, ruthless dictator knock-knock jokes, urinary tract infections, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, سياسة on January 10, 2012 by paulboylan


"America is ugly and its mother dresses it funny."

CARACAS - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, two leaders known for making inflammatory comments to provoke theUnited States, joked yesterday about the United States being so unattractive as to be shunned by women.

“You’re so ugly that even our women – who are essentially sex slaves – would refuse to have sex with you, even though refusing to have sex, if you are a woman, is punishable by death,” Ahmadinejad cracked. “That’s how ugly you are.”

“You are so ugly they would rather be buried alive – which is the punishment for any woman refusing to give herself to a man – than have sex with you,” Ahmadinejad added with a chuckle.

Chavez, suffering from advanced early-onset dementia, added to Ahmadinejad’s insults by making animal sounds and then exposing himself, pointing to his genitals and shouting “Roosevelt will never get this!” to a cheering crowd of frightened Venezuelan citizens.

Source:  http://Ahmadinejad-Chavez-taunt-US-from-Caracas

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HEADLINE – British Clarification on Implant Scandal Leaves Women Only More Confused

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Fashion Forward, Free Utilization Doctrine, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, health care, ανόητο άτομα, News, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, פיצה on January 8, 2012 by paulboylan

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LONDON — On Friday British government spokespersons made unintelligible statements about the government’s position on dangerous French breast implants.

“It is undeniably the case that these implants are made up of non-medical-grade silicone and therefore should not have been implanted in women in the first place,” British health secretary, Andrew Lansley, said in a statement, immediately adding: “In re yours of the 5th inth, yours to hand and beg to rep – brackets, that uhh… we have gone over the ground carefully, and we seem to believe, i.e., to, wit, e.g., in lieu, that uhh… despite all our precautionary measures which have been involved… uhh… we seem to believe that it is hardly necessary for us to proceed, unless we receive an ipso facto that is not negligable at this moment. Quote unquote in quotes. Uhh… hoping this finds you, I beg to remain as July 9th,” Lansley concluded.

His remarks did little to assuage the fears of about 40,000 other British women who unwittingly paid for the poor quality implants during cosmetic surgery in dozens of private clinics where the bulk of the implants here were done.

Responding to the announcement, which was supposed to clarify the government’s position on the growing breast-implant scandal, many women said they were more confused and frightened than ever.

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Source:  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/07/world/europe/british-clarification-on-implant-scandal-leaves-women-more-confused-than-ever.html

A SHORT CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE

Posted in Australia, Brave New World, Food, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, 스타게이트유니버스, ανόητο άτομα, ученые, Travel, Vegemite, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, טילים on November 9, 2011 by paulboylan

As you know, I just returned from a two week trip to Australia.

While there, someone provide me with a freshly baked bread roll.


I asked what it was in it and was told “cheese and Vegemite.”

The roll was delicious.

Last night I brought the subject up while chatting with my wife, sort of suggesting that maybe she could make me some.

In response, my wife fixed me with a cold, piercing stare.

She said (and I quote):

“This is what those people do: they take you somewhere, they cloud your mind – like the Shadow – they feed you Vegemite, and you think you love it.”

So I guess I ain’t gonna get any more until I visit again.

BOEHNER POINTS THE FINGER

Posted in Barry Goldwater, Corruption, Crime and Punishment, Embarrassing Butt-Shots, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Get a job, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, IN MEMORIAM, It's not what you think, Mad Men, Money and Power, Paying Attention, Photography, Politics, Pycho-Social Trauma, Stupid People, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, USA! USA! USA! on July 26, 2011 by paulboylan



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HEADLINE – Phone-hacking whistleblower found dead

Posted in Corruption, Crime and Punishment, Evil Smiley Face, Globalization, IN MEMORIAM, Money and Power, News, Politics, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel on July 18, 2011 by paulboylan

LONDON (AP) — Police say Sean Hoare, the whistleblower reporter who broke the story about widespread hacking at the News of the World, has been found dead in his London home.

London Police said Hoare’s death at his home is not considered to be suspicious, according to Britain’s Press Association news agency.

“There is nothing at all suspicious about Mr. Horse’s untimely and utterly unexpected death,” said Nigel Dimitri, spokesperson for the London Police. “It is just another of those unfortunate coincidences when a witness to crimes committed by rich and powerful men – crimes that implicate the London Police, by the way – are found dead in their London homes.  This is just another one of those coincidences,” Dimitri said. 

“Horse’s untimely and presumably slow and painful death due to mysterious causes should not be interpreted in any way as a warning to any other witnesses who might be considering informing on Rupert Murdoch, The News of the World, or the London Police,” Dimitri concluded before driving off in an unmarked black sedan.

 

Britain’s tabloid phone hacking scandal walloped the London police force Monday, as the rapid-fire resignations of two top officers were followed by claims of possible illegal eavesdropping, bribery and collusion. U.K officials immediately vowed to investigate.

 

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/police-phone-hacking-whistleblower-found-dead-181711003.html

HEADLINE – Bin Laden sought name change, rebranding for Al Qaeda

Posted in dada, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Evil Smiley Face, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Humor, morbidly obese gymnasts, News, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, The Wrath of God, Travel, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on June 25, 2011 by paulboylan

The new, smiling, friendly face of international terror.

WASHINGTON—As Osama bin Laden watched his terrorist organization get picked apart, he lamented in his final writings that Al Qaeda was suffering from a marketing problem. He proposed Al Qaeda get a fresh start with a new name.

A friendlier image.

“The Crusader war against us has caused our name to lose its positive, favorable impression with the public,” Bin Laden wrote sometime in 2010. “We need a new, friendlier image,” Bin Laden concluded.

Bin Laden went on to make suggestions for a new name, including “Pal Qaeda,” “Jihad Is Us” and “Wahabi Wally’s Freedom Emporium.”  Al Qaeda in Iraq (AQR) lobbied hard to change their name to “Starbucks” or “Target” but Bin Laden warned his followers against choosing a name “that will only serve to draw us into protracted and expensive litigation, not to mention one that will cause great consumer confusion.”

Some of Starbuck's lawyers.

Al Queda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) suggested “The Ass Bomb Group” but Bin Laden chided AQAP and warned them not to choose a name that limited Al Qaeda’s operational parameters.

“I know how much you guys like to hide bombs in the rectums of idiot converts,” Bin Laden wrote, 

Idiot recruit (they actually convinced him to let them shove a bomb up his poop chute).

“…but a joke – even one that is rich with dramatic irony – should not create the framework within which we operate. If we called ourselves the Ass Bomb Group, that name choice would create a momentum to only use ass bombs to sow fear among the opponents of God.  As funny as that would be, humor should not limit our operational options.”

Bin Laden wrote one final letter instructing his followers to hire “some New York public relations firm” to help Al Qaeda come up with a catchy new name, a PR firm “preferably with a lot of Jews. Jews are so good at that kind of thing.  The Irish, not so much,” Bin Laden stated.

 

a public relations disaster.

The letter, which was undated, was discovered among bin Laden’s recent writings. Navy SEALs stormed his compound and killed him before any name change could be made. 

Federal Express

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Source: bin-laden-sought-name-change-rebranding-for-al-qaeda

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HEADLINE – Japan scientist synthesizes meat from human feces

Posted in Brave New World, dada, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Evil Smiley Face, Fair Use, Food, Free Utilization Doctrine, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Isnt nature wonderful?, Mad Scientists, News, ученые, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Science, Stupid People, Weird Stuff, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on June 17, 2011 by paulboylan

TOKYO - Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, has developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement. 

“The process is very complex and expensive,” Ikeda explained. “The result is definitely edible. The problem is that it tastes like shit.”

“That tsunami really messed those people up,” said Evan Boylan, a student at Illinois State University, upon learned of the Japanese excrement-to-meat scientific breakthrough.

“That’s worse than f**king Soylent Green,” Boylan added.

SOURCE: http://japanesescientistscreatesmeatoutoffeces-

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THE PARENT FILES: Rendesvous With Goethe

Posted in German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Globalization, Hubris, Travel, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on May 14, 2011 by paulboylan

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Within this blog I’ve often mentioned the single most important, pivotal event of my life – i.e., the seven months I spent wandering through Europe and the Middle East when I was 18.

For reasons I cannot fathom, German came easily to me and, as a result, I spent significant time in Germany, Austria and Switzerland.  I still dream in German every now and then. For those who think German is an ugly, guttural language, you have never read or heard German poetry.  It is a musical, incredibly expressive language. I defy you to find the poetic equivalent for angst or zeitgeist in any language. You won’t.  The list of German words that cannot easily be defined in any other language is endless.

My wife and I just talked with our son via Skype videoconference.  He is jet lagged, hungry, and about to go out to try to find food in a small German town where he will spend the next two weeks attending German language classes by day and practicing what he has learned at night.

Or at least that is the plan.  I really don’t know how much German he will be able to pick up in this short time. I know he isn’t me. I know he doesn’t have the same gift for learning new languages that I had at his age.  But I am still hoping that this is the start of a chain of events that will act as a foundation, and an incentive, for more intensive study later.  I want, if possible, for him to experience the pleasure and insight the exposure to German provided me.

And if not, at least I can say to myself that I did my best to make it so.

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HEADLINE -Antarctic penguin colony vanishes

Posted in Family and Friends, Food, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, News, Our animal friends, Science, The Wrath of God, Travel, Uncategorized, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on April 27, 2011 by paulboylan

CHRISTCHURCH – A small colony of emperor penguins on an island off the West Antarctic Peninsula is gone, and the most likely culprit is a resident of Rio Grande, Argentina named Ted who thinks penguins are delicious.  

“I’m not saying I am the only cause for the disappearance of the entire colony, but I can tell you that they barbecue up real nice,” said Ted in a rare television appearance.

The researchers studying the situation, however, caution that their study is hampered by a lack of long-term information on just how delicious emperor penguins are,  both at the site in question and in general.

Emperor penguins are regal, if bulky, birds that stand as high as 4 feet (1.2 meters) and can weigh as much as 84 pounds (38 kilograms). This colony, first spotted in 1948 on an island dubbed Emperor Island, was a small one that had approximately 150 breeding pairs.

Observations are spotty, but the populations appear to have been relatively stable until the 1970s when Ted began visiting the island.  A report in 1978 showed a sharp drop in population, a trend that continued until an airplane survey found the island empty in 2009.

“All I know is that when I’m not eating penguin I am thinking about eating penguin, they are that delicious,” Ted added, “so I am especially concerned that the entire population on this island has been eaten – I mean wiped out by unknown and mysterious causes. Yeah, its a big mystery. I’m sure global warming had something to do with it,” Ted concluded prior to embarking to locate new and previously unknown emperor penguin colonies.

Source:  

http://biologists-document-loss-of-emperor-penguin-colony/

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HEADLINE – FDA claims no need to test Pacific fish for radioactivity

Posted in American Decline, Brave New World, Fiction, Food, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, IN MEMORIAM, Isnt nature wonderful?, News, Op Ed, Our animal friends, pandemic, Paying Attention, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Rotwang, Science Fiction, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Travel, USA! USA! USA!, What are you sick or something? on April 17, 2011 by paulboylan

FDA spokesperson Vinny Slimp

WASHINGTON D.C. – North Pacific fish are so unlikely to be contaminated by radioactive material from the crippled nuclear plant in Japan that there’s no reason to test them, state and federal officials said this week.

“I personally smelled a fish that came out of the Pacific that looked like it could have been Japanese and could detect no radiation whatsoever,” said FDA spokesperson Vinny Slimp. The Food and Drug Administration has oversight of the nation’s food supplies.

“Based on the work they’re doing, no sampling or monitoring of our fish is necessary,” Slimp said. “We also consulted with a really good psychic that works for the North Pacific Fish Foundation who told us to tell everyone to eat all the Pacific fish they want and that no testing is necessary.”  The North Pacific Fish Foundation is an advocacy and lobbying group that represents the sea food industry and works closely with the FDA to provide guidance on sea food safety regulations. 

“Fish is good for you even if it is radioactive,” said Rocko Vincenchi, Associate Director of the Food Safety Advisory Board. “Like the chemicals in drinking water from plastic bottles and dyes in foods, there is nothing bad, per se, about radiation.  We got radiation everywhere. You walk outside and you get hit with radiation from the sun. That’s right, from the sun. Solar energy and radiation are the same thing.  Besides, fish got all that healthy fish oil in them, so the more radiated fish you eat the more you will be protected from radiation in the fish!” Vincenchi said, then quickly added “but I’m not saying there is any radiation in any fish. The FDA says there is no need for testing so that means there ain’t no radiation,  right?”

Rocko Vincenchi

The Food Safety Advisory Board is an advocacy/lobbying organization supported financially by the food industry and is dedicated to repealing food safety regulations.

Source:

http://www.thenewstribune.com/2011/04/16/1629400/fda-claims-no-need-to-test-pacific.html#ixzz1JnSXmTVC

HEADLINE – Gov’t focus on nuke crisis angers tsunami victims

Posted in Barry Goldwater, Brave New World, dada, Fair Use, Get a job, Getting it Right, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, morbidly obese French revolutionary philosophers, News, Op Ed, Paying Attention, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rage Against the Machine, Smiley Face, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, Uncategorized, USA! USA! USA!, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? with tags , , , , , , on April 2, 2011 by paulboylan

RIKUZENTAKATA, Japan – As Japan’s prime minister held another in an endless stream of press conferences to describe in great detail the Japanese government’s efforts to fix damaged nuclear reactors, frustrated tsunami victims complained that the government has been too focused on the nuclear crisis that followed the massive wave.

“Hey! Over here! 165,000 people living in cardboard boxes and packing crates! HELLO?? Is anyone home??” 35-year-old Megumi Shimanuki shouted at the Prime Minister from the crowd gathered at the press conference. “Yeah, yeah, highly radioactive water is leaking into the sea. Blah, blah, blah. I need a house,” Shimanuki yelled.

“Go find the corporate executives and their stooge government regulators who willfully and knowingly decided to operate unsafe nuclear reactors right near the ocean, line them up against a wall, and shoot them,” suggested Ken Hashimoto, a fellow tsunami evacuee.

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“Kill them all, then confiscate their multiple homes, expensive automobiles and jewelry they bought with the profits they made cutting safety corners.  Sell that property and use the money to get me some food,” Hashimoto added.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com

HEADLINE – Japan vows to review nuclear safety standards

Posted in Brave New World, dada, Food, Getting it Right, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, Humor, Isnt nature wonderful?, Life, Mad Men, News, Op Ed, Parody, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Rotwang, satire, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Travel, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? with tags , , , , , , on March 29, 2011 by paulboylan

In response to charges of criminal regulatory negligence that resulted in the clearly apparent failure to build and maintain safe nuclear reactors, the Japanese government vowed to review Japan’s nuclear safety standards.

“We will review them, if we can find them,” promised Ken Fujikuma, Head of the Japanese Nuclear Industry Regulatory Commission and Late Night Drinking Games.

Fujikuma also pledged to “look into” the wisdom of running while holding scissors and playing Russian Roulette with fully loaded hand guns.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110329/ap_on_bi_ge/as_japan_earthquake;_ylt=AqGOpu9PvKLz0Dh77MPCoIys0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFoOGJ1Ymw0BHBvcwMyNwRzZWMDYWNjb3JkaW9uX3RvcF9zdG9yaWVzBHNsawNqYXBhbnZvd3N0b3I-

HEADLINE – Fired workers burn Indian executive to death

Posted in Avatar, Brave New World, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Fire and Ice, Free Utilization Doctrine, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, It's not what you think, Mad Men, Moral Rights, News, Paying Attention, Politics, Rage Against the Machine, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Travel, Uncategorized, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on March 29, 2011 by paulboylan

 

BHUBANESHWAR, India – Indian police briefly detained two people after an angry mob of fired workers burned to death a senior executive of a steel factory, an official said Friday.

After learning they were laid off so that the company could pay large bonuses to executives, 3,000 workers attacked a vehicle carrying a senior steel mill executive as he was leaving the factory in eastern Orissa state on Thursday, dousing the Jeep with gasoline and setting it on fire, said police Superintendent Ajay Kumar Sarangi.

“Who needs collective bargaining?” said angry factory worker Rhapee Kanasta. “You Americans really have no idea of how to deal with the abuse of corporate power,” Kanasta continued. “Here in India, if they go too far, we kill them.  No table negotiations. No Fair Labor Practices Board of Review. No complicated and expensive lawsuits. No strikes. No picketing. Just douse them in gasoline and burn them.”

“Oh yes, we can become very angry, indeed,” said fellow factory worker Sanje Ghupta.

Source: http://www.sify.com/finance/fired-workers-burn-indian-executive-to-death-news-news-ldhc4ijgcfe.html



Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions – and Ray Gun Girls

Posted in 3D, Antique surgical instruments, Art, Astronomy, Avatar, Barry Goldwater, Battlestar Galactica, Brave New World, Cinema, dada, Droit de Suite, Droit Moral, космическая девушка, космическая девушка space girl, Fair Use, Family and Friends, Fire and Ice, Free Utilization Doctrine, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, Fritz Lang, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Harvey Eisner, Isnt nature wonderful?, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, morbidly obese French revolutionary philosophers, morbidly obese gymnasts, Nichola Tesla, Paying Attention, Photography, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Research and Development, Review, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Rotwang, Science, Science Fiction, Space, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Stoats, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, Television, The Matrix, The River of Time, The Wilhelm Scream, TV, Uncategorized, USA! USA! USA!, Weird Stuff, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on March 11, 2011 by paulboylan


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By now you know I kind of dig Space Chicks.

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In addition to writing substantively on the historical, sociological and geopolitical aspects of Space Chicks, my purely scholarly passion led me to become the worlds leading authority on subject.

Professor Boylan presenting a paper on Space Chicks at the University of Johannesburg, South Africa, in 2006

When I first determined the importance of Space Chicks as a pop culture phenomenon,  I soon observed that there is an important Space Chick subset that is best described as “Ray Gun Girls.”  Simply put, a Ray Gun Girl is a girl often, but not always, wearing a space suit in close proximity to a ray gun, often, but not always holding the ray gun.

Like Space Chicks in general, Ray Gun Girls first appeared on the cover of pulp magazines.

And when Space Chicks migrated from pulp novel covers to film and television, Ray Gun Girls began showing up there, too.

In all honesty, most Ray Gun Girl images are fetish driven manifestations of arrested male adolescent wish fulfillment, amounting to little more than soft core pornography.

However, as the years went by science fiction matured, and Space Chick images began to include strong, capable women who were fully realized heroic figures as complex and detailed as any male hero. As this happened, the images of Ray Gun Girls also evolved into something more serious and less sexist.


To me, the entire phenomenon is really quite fascinating. I don’t have the time or inclination to explore in this blog why there is such a driving interest to depict women holding ray guns.  The psycho-sexual implications alone would fill more space than I have to work with here. However, it is worth noting that the Ray Gun Girl concept is distancing itself from sex object utility and is increasingly being seen as a sign of feminist empowerment.


I’m taking the time here to provide you with the opportunity to judge for yourself.  Below is a gallery of Ray Gun Girl drawings and photos representing only what I was able to download in a few minutes before I gave up and went on to more serious business.  Nevertheless, this incomplete sample is the most comprehensive collection of Ray Gun Girl pics anywhere on or off the internet.

I present them in the order my computer imposed due to file title.

[If you don't see any gallery below, then you need to go back up to the top and click on the link entitled something like "The Ultimate Ray Gun Girl Gallery."

I take no responsibility for any offense that may result from anyone accessing and scrutinizing any of the photos in that gallery.]

HEADLINE – Nun’s Bones Found in Monk’s Bag

Posted in Art, Artists Rights, Barry Goldwater, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, Family and Friends, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Life, Mad Men, News, Our animal friends, Smiley Face, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, Weird Stuff, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on January 20, 2011 by paulboylan

MUNCIE – Three monks and one pastor were arrested at the Eleftherios Venizelos airport in Athens, Greece after security personnel discovered the remains of Eleni Vathiadou, a former nun, in their luggage as they tried to board a flight to Cyprus.

The four suspects provided Greek authorities with conflicting explanations.

“I was holding that bag for a friend,” said Father Spiro Papastavros.

“Look man, those bones are intended for my own personal use only,” said Father Gus Poulos. “I wasn’t going to sell them.”

“My sister sent them to me,” claimed Father Nicholas Dimos.

“In my defense, she was delicious,” said Pastor Ted Schultz.

Source:

http://news.travel.aol.com/2011/01/19/monk-caught-with-nuns-skeleton-in-luggage/?icid=maing%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec2_lnk1%7C37641

HEADLINE – Toxic Waste Bars Have Hazardous Levels Of Lead, Recalled

Posted in American Decline, Barry Goldwater, Brave New World, dada, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Fire and Ice, Food, Fritz Lang, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Humor, Isnt nature wonderful?, Joseph Bleckman, Mad Scientists, morbid obesity, News, Nichola Tesla, Paying Attention, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Research and Development, Rotwang, Small Town America, Stupid People, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on January 17, 2011 by paulboylan

LOS ANGELES –  Candy bars called “Toxic Waste Chew Bars” have been recalled because a sample lot was found to have high levels of lead – 0.24 parts per million, as opposed to the FDA tolerance of 0.1ppm.

“We clearly labeled those candy bars as Toxic Waste,” said Vinnie Slimp, Vice President of Marketing for Circle City Marketing and Distributors, producers of Toxic Waste Chew Bars.

Vinnie Slimp

“It states quite clearly on the wrapper that the ingredients include three kinds of lead, arsenic, dioxin, chromium 6, spent nuclear fuel and there is also a clear warning that the candy may contain traces of tree or ground nuts,” Slimp said.

“It isn’t our fault when someone ignores these clear warnings and actually eats that stuff,” Slimp concluded.


Circle City Marketing and Distributors  is also recalling  “Deadly Poison Gum Drops” which they also produce and market.

Both Toxic Waste Chew Bars and Deadly Poison Gum Drops are manufactured in China.

Source: http://www.ecoworld.com/agriculture/toxic-candy-bars-recalled-for-lead-content.html


HEADLINE – European anarchists grow more violent, coordinated

Posted in Berne Convention, dada, Droit Moral, Fair Use, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, Joseph Bleckman, News, Paying Attention, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on December 30, 2010 by paulboylan

ROME – A loosely linked movement of European anarchists who want to bring down state and financial institutions is becoming more violent and coordinated, security experts say.

“Anarchists have suddenly realized that they can be more effective using organizational methods borrowed from business and government,” says Herb Slovo, Director of World Empire Security Consultants.

“Coordinating with other anarchists just makes subverting the world economic tyrany so much easier,” says Jimmy X, self-described anarchist and unemployed dog groomer.

Jimmy X

“Conventions, discussion groups, ad hoc committees. Even rules of procedure for meetings. Newsletters. Schedule books. All of it. It really helps us get things done without all that bickering and confusion,” X says.

“We are actualising öur potential with blue sky thinking, exploring a different set of paradigms,” says Swedish Anarchist “Therbs” (not his real name).

Therbs

“We have our eye on the prize and will leverage our corporate knowledge assets to achieve our goals within a defined set of core strategic streams,” Therbs continues.  “We’re cutting across the old silos which have held us back and moving forward we’re looking at a dynamic future with win-win scenarios coming into play.”


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101228/ap_on_re_eu/eu_italy_embassy_blasts;_ylt=AqM8tkLxzmdTlw1S3trFdtqs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFiMHNnZDNvBHBvcwM1MwRzZWMDYWNjb3JkaW9uX3dvcmxkBHNsawNldXJvcGVhbmFuYXI-

MY BLOG IN GERMAN!!

Posted in Berne Convention, Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Photography, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rotwang, Stoats, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, The Wilhelm Scream, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on November 7, 2010 by paulboylan

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THIRTY-FIVE people just used google to translate my blog into German:

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=de&langpair=en%7Cde&u=https://paulboylan.wordpress.com/page/3/&twu=1

Überraschen! Unglaublich! Wunderbar! Es macht mich fühle wie ein kleines mädchen.


I hope it isn’t these people:

Studious and thoughtful Germans.

 


FEAR OF THE UKNOWN

Posted in Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Joseph Bleckman, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, The Matrix, Uncategorized, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on September 23, 2010 by paulboylan

As I sat in my study ruminating on deep and important matters, my wife interrupted me to ask a question.

“You know the question,” she said to me. “It’s the question that drives us. It’s the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.”


My wife knows that I am powerfully attracted to her when she quotes Trinity from The Matrix.



But I digress.  After repeating dialogue from one of my favorite movies, she placed an item in front of me and asked “what does this mean?”


I am going to show you the object and ask you the same question. Here is the object:


What you are looking at is an exact reproduction of an information tag on a pillow my wife purchased.  The questions she asked – that I now ask you – is:

What the f**k does “ALL NEW MATERIALS consisting of TEXTILE FIBERS OF AN UNKNOWN KIND” mean?  Are the people who made this pillow actually saying they don’t know what is in this pillow?

Somebody must know what kind of textile fibers are stuffed into that pillow.



More importantly, why would there be a law that requires a manufacturer of pillow products to inform me that my pillow is filled with a substance that cannot be identified?  How is that supposed to protect – much less reassure -me?


Well, that’s it for me. Like Yobbo, I am out of here.

I am going to find my wife and listen to her as she explains that the Oracle told her she was going to fall in love with me, and then tell me with the very next breath she wants pizza – and I am going to try not to think about the unknown and likely unknowable.


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HEADLINE – TESTICLE FESTIVAL HUGE SUCCESTICLE

Posted in 3D, And now the snorting starts, Art, Astronomy, Avatar, Barry Goldwater, Battlestar Galactica, Brave New World, buffo, Cinema, Evil Smiley Face, Food, Fritz Lang, Globalization, greannmhar, Hapax Legomenon, Harvey Eisner, Hate Crimes, Headline, IN MEMORIAM, Internet Fun!, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, Isnt nature wonderful?, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, kluchtig, lächerlich, Life, Mad Men, music, News, Nichola Tesla, скарлетт йоханссон, Our animal friends, Paying Attention, photograph, Photography, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Rotwang, Science Fiction, Small Town America, snaaks, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Television, The Great State of Montana!, The Matrix, The River of Time, The Wrath of God, Travel, TV, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Website of the Week, Weird Stuff, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون scarlett johansson on June 15, 2010 by paulboylan

Photographer: Karen Combs 2010

Photographer: Karen Combs 2010

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OLEAN, MO. – The Olean Festival Commission has declared this year’s Testicle Festival to be most successful testicle festival in the 17 years that Olean has hosted a testicle festival. “Attendance this year broke all prior attendance records,” said Gunther Haas, the primary organizer of this year’s Testicle Festival. “People traveled from as far away as Henley to participate in the testicle themed festivities.”

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Good, clean testicle related fun.

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In addition to the many testicle related food items being offered, this year’s Testicle Festival featured a Testicle Festival Parade, a Testicle Festival Pancake Breakfast, with testicle shaped pancakes and free testicle shaped balloons for the kids, and a testicle eating contest.

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A number of testicle-themed rides and educational exhibits also contributed to this year’s Testicle Festival’s unprecedented success.

“We got a roller-coaster called the Testicle Express that is sure to give a thrill,” said Travis Jode, Honorary Mayor of Olean’s 17th Annual Testicle Festival. “And for the kids we have a giant testicle you can walk through and learn all about testicles.”

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But the one thing that sets this year’s Testicle Festival apart from all other testicle festivals was the variety of testicles offered for consumption.

“Bull testicles are great,” said Sue Ellen Plavin, this year’s Testicle Queen.


“But you can get bull testicles at any testicle festival.  That’s where we’re different.  At the Olean Testicle Festival you can enjoy all sorts of testicles ranging from goat and sheep and pig and turkey to more exotic testes like squirrel, possum and frog, which I can tell you are simply delicious.  And I hear tell that somewhere around here you can score some kangaroo balls,” Plavin said and smiled. “I bet you can’t get kangaroo ‘nads at the Russelville Testicle Festival. No siree bob.”

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Good, clean testicle related fun.

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I WANT YOU TO PICK MY NEW AVATAR PHOTO

Posted in 3D, Art, Avatar, Battlestar Galactica, Brave New World, Family and Friends, Fiction, Fire and Ice, Food, Globalization, Hate Crimes, Headlines, Internet Fun!, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, music, News, Photography, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Science Fiction, Small Town America, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Tasmania, Television, The Matrix, The Wrath of God, Travel, TV, Website of the Week on February 17, 2010 by paulboylan

I’ve decided I need a new avatar photo.  This is the one I’ve been using:

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This is really a great photograph.  It is utterly cool in every way an avatar photo can be cool. But, despite how cool it is, no one has ever commented on it – which means no one gets it.

So it is time for Rotwang from Fritz Lang’s Metropolis to go,  but I don’t want to exert the effort of deciding which photo should be my new avatar, which means you get to pick.

I’ve narrowed the field down a bit.  My finalists are numbered below. Whichever pic gets the most votes will be my new avatar.

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THE PARENT FILES: FEELING GOOD ABOUT ME

Posted in Getting it Right, Globalization, It's not what you think, Life, Paying Attention, The River of Time on January 25, 2010 by paulboylan

I have three reasons for living. The first is to be a good husband. The second is to be a good father and the third is to be a good citizen. I honestly have no idea if I am any good at any of these things – or, to be more precise, good enough.  But today something happened that made me feel good about being me.

I was driving back from church with my son and we were talking about Time – or, to be more precise, we were talking about how important it is to have a proper relationship with Time.

I was explaining to my son that success – and by “success” I mean living a long life in good health, not missing any meals and being content more often than being dissatisfied – depends in large measure on whether or not a person has a good relationship with Time.

Successful people live in the Past, Present and Future simultaneously. You probably do it but don’t realize it.  When you are confronted with a choice you automatically draw off of past experience, apply information you’ve gathered in the present and then use both Past and Present to anticipate Future consequences of your actions.  The deeper your grasp of the Past – both personal and historical – and the more extensive your Present data gathering, the better you can project into the Future to avoid unpleasant or undesirable consequences.

Most people can’t do this. They cannot remember the past in any meaningful way, they fail to gather data in the Present, which means they cannot anticipate the Future consequences of their actions.

For example, millions of Americans bought items using credit cards today who should not have made those purchases. They don’t remember the purchases they made in the Past, they have failed to gather data in the Present as to whether they can afford to make more purchases on credit, which means they don’t – can’t – understand the dire Future consequences of going deeper into debt.

People who do not integrate the Past, Present and Future have no control over their lives. They are the most likely to lose their jobs during economic bad times. They are the most likely to lose their homes to foreclosure. They are the most likely to eat too much fast food, gain too much weight, develop life-style related diseases and die young.

I don’t want my son to be one of those people. So today I was talking to him about how important it is to gather information – any information – as he goes about his daily life.   I told him that all information could be important and useful. I struggled with the concept, trying to explain it, and then said:

“You never know when the trivial will become pivotal.”

The moment I said that I realized it was pretty cool. Almost like poetry. And I felt like a good father and felt pretty good about being me.

Which I am never comfortable with.  So the next thing I told him was:

“Jews control the media.”

It isn’t true and I don’t believe it, and I know my son won’t believe it, but I don’t want him to get used to me being wise.  I want to ge a good father but I don’t want to work too hard at it, and the less my son expects of me the easier it will be.

HEADLINE – Argentina forces dirty war orphans to provide DNA

Posted in Fiction, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Humor, News, Op Ed, Research and Development, Travel on January 17, 2010 by paulboylan

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Ulan Bator – The Argentine legislature has enacted a controversial bill requiring all war orphans residing in Argentina to provide DNA samples – but only if they are “filthy.”

“Just look at those dirty, filthy war orphans,” said Juan Hepilmeyer, Argentine Minister of Public Hygiene. “The Argentine government has finally decided to do something about the problem of dirty war orphans, and the first step is to collect their DNA,” Hepilmeyer said.

“I don’t care what the law says,” said Ricci Polinski, a hygienically-challenged war orphan who wanders the streets of Buenos Aries. “They won’t get of my DNA,” said a defiant Polinski as he picked his nose and wiped his finger on his shirt.

Hepilmeyer said that the new law authorizes the use of the Argentine Army to enforce the new regulations.

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Source: http://www.stltoday.com/argentina-forces-dirty-war-orphans-to-provide-dna/

REMEMBERING THE 2000 COMMERCIAL ACTORS STRIKE, PART 2

Posted in 3D, Art, Avatar, Battlestar Galactica, Brave New World, Cinema, Evil Smiley Face, Family and Friends, Fiction, Fire and Ice, Food, Getting it Right, Globalization, Hate Crimes, Humor, IN MEMORIAM, Internet Fun!, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, music, News, Op Ed, Paying Attention, Photography, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Review, Science Fiction, Small Town America, Smiley Face, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Television, The Matrix, The River of Time, The Wrath of God, Travel, TV on December 27, 2009 by paulboylan

In Part One of this series, we encountered “Hello, Meteor!” – a commercial the Discovery Channel  (TDS) made during the 2000 commercial actors strike.  “Hello, Meteor!” garnered critical and commercial acclaim.  This success encouraged TDS on to assign more of their non-actor office to star in other commercials, including the now classic “Hello, Mosquito!” shown below.

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REMEMBERING THE 2000 SAG COMMERCIAL ACTORS STRIKE

Posted in 3D, American Decline, Art, Artists Rights, Astronomy, Avatar, Barry Goldwater, Battlestar Galactica, Berne Convention, Brave New World, Cinema, dada, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Droit de Suite, Droit Moral, Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, Evil Smiley Face, Fair Use, Family and Friends, Fiction, Fire and Ice, Food, Free Utilization Doctrine, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, Fritz Lang, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Getting it Right, Globalization, Hapax Legomenon, Harvey Eisner, Hate Crimes, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Humor, IN MEMORIAM, Internet Fun!, Isnt nature wonderful?, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, Mad Scientists, Moral Rights, morbid obesity, morbidly obese French revolutionary philosophers, morbidly obese gymnasts, music, News, Nichola Tesla, Op Ed, Our animal friends, pandemic, Parody, Paying Attention, Photography, Politics, Pop Culture, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Review, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Rotwang, satire, Science, Science Fiction, Small Town America, Smiley Face, South Korea, Space, Sports, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Stoats, Stupid People, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, Tasmania, Television, The Matrix, The River of Time, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Travel, TRIPs, TV, Uncategorized, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Website of the Week, Weird Stuff, West Korea, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on December 23, 2009 by paulboylan

If you are anything like me, then every so often – when the winter wind blows clean and fresh from the north – you are overcome by nolstagia for the halcyon days of the 2000 Screen Actors Guild Commercial Actors Strike.

Ah, those halcyon days! – when men selling things on television had to do without actors because actors who acted in television commercials wanted more money for their labor, but the major studios wouldn’t give them more money.  And so they went on strike.


Commercials got made and were broadcast without professional acting, and sometimes the results were simply wonderful.



The Discovery Channel used accounting and technical employees to act in a series of commercials that have since become legend, the first of which I feature below.

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AHHH!!!   THE ATMOSPHERE!!!!  AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

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WHAT AMERICANS SOUND LIKE

Posted in 3D, Art, Avatar, Battlestar Galactica, Brave New World, Cinema, Evil Smiley Face, Family and Friends, Fiction, Fire and Ice, Food, Getting it Right, Globalization, Hate Crimes, Humor, IN MEMORIAM, Internet Fun!, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, music, News, Op Ed, Paying Attention, Photography, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Review, Science Fiction, Small Town America, Smiley Face, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Television, The Matrix, The River of Time, The Wrath of God, Travel, TV on December 21, 2009 by paulboylan

As I’ve often mentioned (purely as a matter of pretense), I often lecture to non American audiences. With minor exception I lecture in English.

The noted internet social analysis and general media maven, Joseph Bleckman, sent me this link that shows what non English speakers hear when they hear Americans speaking.  It isn’t a very loving or kind parody, but it is pretty funny.


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