Archive for the Is that really Ellie Goulding? Category

HEADLINE – WOMAN ATTACKS BOYFRIEND WITH BASEBALL BAT

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Crime and Punishment, fairness, Fiat Lux, gülen yüz, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, Joseph Bleckman, kluchtig, lächerlich, love, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Small Town America, The Great State of Montana!, بشار الاسد with tags , , , , , on November 1, 2014 by paulboylan

Angry Woman

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Okay, what did he do?

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Reproduction with permission of the Sacramento Valley Mirror, the greatest little newspaper in the world (Tim Crews Editor and Publisher).

HEADLINE – OFFICIALS SEARCH FOR CAUSE OF FATAL HAYRIDE CRASH

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, gülen yüz, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mysterious Mysteries, News, Paying Attention, Small Town America, Stupid News, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, سكارليت جوهانسون with tags , , on October 12, 2014 by paulboylan

Screen Shot 2014-10-12 at 11.38.34 AM copy

 

Hey Officials, here’s a hint:

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stupid people 1

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It appears stupid people are the cause.

 

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STUPID NEWS – Train kills disabled vets attending parade for disabled vets

Posted in And now the snorting starts, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, neşeli, смешной, Small Town America, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on November 18, 2012 by paulboylan

One of the hallmarks of modern journalism is the growing proliferation ofhstupid news./  Especiallyhon the internet./

Recently in Texas a train hit a float in a parade honoring wounded/disabled war veterans. Some of the disabled veterans on that parade float were killed in the accident.

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Here is a follow-up story:

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Well, that is a huge relief.  If the float was rented, those vets might have lost their deposit – and what a tragedy that might have been.

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STUPID UPDATE!!

 

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HEADLINE – IRANIAN OFFICIAL CANCELS CANADIAN TRIP

Posted in Ahmadinejad, bacon, Canada, Geopolitical Insults, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, ανόητο άτομα, Joseph Bleckman, News, Politics, The Great State of Montana!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, טילים on September 8, 2012 by paulboylan

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MUNCIE – A top Iranian official has canceled his Canadian vacation plans to protest Canada’s recent decision to sever diplomatic ties between Canada and Iran.

“I was going to go to Banff to take in some skying, but screw that now,” said Osama bin Pharten, the Iranian Minister of Counterfeiting and Money Laundering.  “As far as I am concerned Canada is no longer a vacation destination for me or my family,” bin Pharten said.

“And their bacon is stupid,” he added.

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A Grim Fairy Tale – THE GHOST DANCE

Posted in End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Fire and Ice, Grim Fairy Tales, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, скарлетт йоханссон, The Great State of Montana!, The Second Coming, The Wrath of God, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة with tags on August 18, 2012 by paulboylan

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Hello, children. Would you like to hear a story?

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THE GHOST DANCE

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It began as a television show: a dance contest with a Native American theme, financed with Native American money accumulated slowly over the years from slot machine and roulette revenues.

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Auditions were held in New York, Boston, Chicago, Denver, Seattle, Houston, Kansas City, San Francisco and lost Angeles. Contestants from all walks of life were asked to perform a complex set of steps called “the Ghost Dance”.

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The competition was fierce.  The dance itself was hypnotic. The show was a hit – outperforming every program in its time slot and eventually becoming the most popular television show in America.

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In its 3rd season, the show began promoting what it called “Ghost Dance Day” during which the show’s growing television audience was invited to join in the fun. The goal was to get as many people as possible performing the Ghost Dance simultaneously.

Each year thereafter as the show’s popularity grew, so did Ghost Dance Day, with people all over America – from New York to San Diego – performing the steps of the Ghost Dance simultaneously. The producers of the show had tapped into the power of dance to build a sense of community.

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And the movement spread. People all over the world began to celebrate the Ghost Dance Day.  Even the world’s poorest people petitioned their government’s to furnish them with television or Internet access that would allow them to both view the competition and participate in Ghost Dance Day.

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Pundits both great and small endlessly analyzed the Ghost Dance phenomenon.

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Scholarly papers were written about the psycho/social elements of the dance’s  unbelievable popularity. But, despite all this intellectual attention, virtually no one looked very closely at the historical roots of the Ghost Dance – other than a few anthropologists and historians, whose warnings were ignored and classified as an element of the egg-head racist lunatic fringe.

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In its 8th year, the show’s producers boasted that Ghost Dance Day would see over 4 billion people dancing together.

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Nobody knows if that boast was realized. Nobody knows the exact number of people needed to fulfill Sitting Bull’s dream. All we know is that, all over the world, the skies grew dark, the earth trembled, and the dead returned.  The Ancestors returned and destroy the works of European civilization in Africa, Melanesia and the Americas, fulfilling cargo cult prophecies and millenaristic dreams.

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MORAL OF THE STORY:  dance shows are bad.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_Dance

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HEADLINE – MUTANT BUTTERFLIES FOUND AT JAPANESE NUCLEAR DISTASTER SITE

Posted in End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, Japan, Monsters, News, photograph, Photography, Science, The Wrath of God, Travel, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, 滑稽, بشار الاسد with tags , , , , , on August 15, 2012 by paulboylan

 

HOW NEWS REALLY WORKS

Posted in American Decline, amusant, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Headline, Headlines, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Photography, Politics, snaaks, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, מצחיק, خنده, خنده دار on May 29, 2012 by paulboylan

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