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This is me, disappointed with the Sydney Morning Herald. My disappointment looks a lot like a terrible, preternatural anger, doesn’t it?
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People of Earth, I am deeply disappointed with the Sydney Morning Herald. Allow me to explain why.
As some of my regular visitors know, I feel a strange affinity for Australia and the exceptional people I’ve met there.
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I have special affection for Sydney.
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You can imagine my delight when I received this email invitation:

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The Herald explained what they wanted as follows:
The Sydney Morning Herald is challenging you to help us tackle the prevalence of alcohol-related violence and anti-social behavior in Sydney.
Put your ideas to work and create a 30 second video ad or an A4 poster for our Safer Sydney campaign. Your ad should speak to those heading out for the night, especially young men. The winning entry will receive $2,500 as well as being featured across The Sydney Morning Herald newspaper, online and tablet editions.
How could I resist such an invitation? I myself am guilty of perpetrating alcohol-related anti-social behavior with the very worst hooligans and yobbos Sydney has to offer.
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So I was delighted to have received a request from the Sydney Morning Herald to use my many creative talents to help the good people of Sydney to improve their quality of life. I snapped into action and put this poster together:
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I felt fairly pleased with my effort. It was pithy and to the point. It directly spoke to those headed out for the night, especially young men – who are always primarily interested in impressing the ladies with the hope of persuading them to engage in sexual congress. I felt my poster was a sure fire winner.
Then I read the contest rules:
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
General Terms
1. Information on how to enter forms part of the terms of entry. Entry into the competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions by the entrant (referred to as entrant or you in these terms and conditions).
2. The Promotion is a game of skill, and chance plays no part in determining the winners.
3. Entry is open to residents of Australia only.
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WTF???
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