Posted in おかしなふるまいの
, космическая девушка
, Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes
, gülen yüz
, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553)
, Lord of the Rings Knock-Knock Jokes
, Pre Columbian Knock-Knock Jokes
, مقاطع سكس مصارعه
on January 26, 2012 by paulboylan
Sex? Sex is overrated. Good sex is not the key to a successful and happy marriage.
Don’t get me wrong – sex is great. Good sex is even better. And it is key. But, in all honesty, by itself, it isn’t enough. I know plenty of guys great in bed who ended up alone.
The secret to my incredibly successful and happy marriage is the simple fact that, at least once a day, I make my wife laugh.
I don’t even pretend to understand it. But, for some incredibly fucking mysterious reason, the tides of time and evolution have programmed women to want to be with men who make them laugh.
I think it has something to do with demonstrating that you “care.” I don’t know what that means. Seriously. I am, at rock bottom, an average guy. I have no idea what women want or need, especially when it comes to “caring” – which seems so important to women, but is so alien to men.
But, in order to make a woman laugh, you have to really, really, understand her. You have to know exactly those aspects of her personality and psyche that trigger a belly laugh. Preferably an uncontrollable belly laugh. Yes. That is the best. When your woman experiences an uncontrollable belly laugh that you engendered it is an amazing event, a magical moment, and it ends with love light shining out of her eyes.
And to be able to do that, a man must truly understand his woman. And, perhaps, that demonstrates the “caring” women seem to crave.
Whatever. Tonight I am waiting for the exactly perfect time, the perfect moment when something I say results in my wife, the love of my life, involuntarily laughing, with – if God is with me – champagne shooting out of her nose.
Verweile doch; du bist so schön. So, so schön.
Posted in Food
, Grim Fairy Tales
, Isnt nature wonderful?
, Our animal friends
, Pre Columbian Knock-Knock Jokes
on January 12, 2012 by paulboylan
Once upon a time there were three grey whales trapped under the arctic ice.
That alone is enough to make anyone wonder: what is wrong with these three whales? What kind of whales get themselves trapped beneath ice so they will most likely die because they can’t hold their breath long enough to swim beyond the frozen ice and out to the open sea?
Okay, let’s just get past the fact that these whales were unusually stupid. Whales, for the most part, are fairly intelligent. They’ve survived for millions of years and the stupid ones have died out because they were too stupid to avoid obvious dangers – like getting trapped beneath an arctic ice sheet. But every now and then one or two whales don’t get enough oxygen when they are born and they end up just a little bit stupid.
The whales trapped beneath the arctic ice are three very stupid whales. They’re trapped. They are gonna die. That’s that. It is what it is. It has happened before. It will happen again. Stupid is as stupid does, and – over the course of geological time – stupid tends to die.
But sometimes even the stupid get lucky. In this case, the three stupid whales were discovered by a little blond girl who decided to try to save them.
In all honesty, the details are a bit boring. To make a long story short, the little blond girl convinced a bunch of white people to cut holes in the ice that the three stupid whales could use to breathe while they swam to the open sea.
And it worked. The whales – although stupid beyond reasonable belief – used the air holes carved out of the ice to breath as they made their way to the open ocean.
And when they got there – when they were finally free of the consequences of their own stupidity, when they finally broke into the open sea – they were set upon by a band of Native Americans in big canoes who thrust hand-made harpoons into their flesh, puncturing their lungs, and killing them.
“Hey, thanks, white people!” the Native American arctic hunters shouted as they attached ropes to the three dead gray whales to tow them to their village, where the whales were beached and butchered for the traditional nutritional pleasure of the village.
And the shame of it all – the real tragedy here – is that the white people who helped bring the whales to the open sea were not allowed to eat any flesh of the whales they saved because, by law, only Native Americans are lawfully entitled to eat whale meat.
Sometimes, life isn’t fair.