Archive for the The Wrath of Khan Category

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH PROFESSOR X BOYLAN

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Australia, Early-onset dementia, Fiction, Geopolitical Insults, Hapax Legomenon, Horrible Coincidences, It's not what you think, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, بشار الاسد, سكارليت جوهانسون on June 7, 2015 by paulboylan

CATS FLOATING

 

John Birmingham is a prolific writer who’s most recent three novels – Emergence, Resistance and Ascendance – tell the story of how an oil drilling platform in the Gulf of Mexico drills so deep that it accidentally breaks the “cap stone” separating our world from a demon hoard that once ruled the earth and used people for food.  They plan on reconquering the surface world only to discover that humans aren’t the timid, frightened “cattle” they were thousands of years ago, but have evolved from helpless savages into a global technological civilization with weapons that seem like magic to the invading demons.

 

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And the demon hoard didn’t count on Dave Hooper, an oil rig worker, becoming the demon-killing champion of Humankind.

 

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Dave Hooper carrying Lucille.

 

Professor X. Boylan  is a fictional character depicted in Resistance, the second novel in the series.

 

Resistance

Resistance

 

We were fortunate enough to locate and interview Paul Nicholas Boylan, the real life basis for the fictional character.

PEOPLE OF EARTH: Welcome Mr. Boylan.  Thank you for coming here today.

PAUL NICHOLAS BOYLAN: No problem, Chief.

POE: We here at People of Earth are big fans of John Birmingham’s novels and we feel his most recent  “technology v. magic” Dave Hooper novels are possibly the best Birmingham has written.

PNB:  Yeah, that’s what people are telling me.

POE:  You haven’t read these books yet?

PNB:  I’m waiting for the graphic novel adaptations to come out.

POE:  Why?

PNB:  ‘Cause I like comic books.

 

LostInSpaceAnnuals

POE:  Aren’t you at all curious about Professor X. Boylan, the character you inspired?

PNB:  Let me explain somethin’ here, Chief. It is sort of my policy, if you will, to not read any of the books that have characters based on yours truly.

POE:  Why not?

PNB: I got my reasons.

POE:  Are there other characters based on you?

PNB:  Yeah.  I’m sort of like a “muse” if you know what I mean.

POE:  What other authors have you inspired?

PNB:  Dean Koonz put me in Odd Thomas and that grenade launcher put me in Fifty Shades of Grey.

POE:  Which characters?

PNB:  I’m not sure but I’m told I’m in there.

POE:  I haven’t read either of those books –

PNB:  Me neither.

POE: – but let’s compare Professor X. Boylan to the real you.

PNB: Knock yourself out, Chief.

POE:  To start out with, this is you.

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Paul Nicholas Boylan

PNB:  Hey, thanks for not using one of my mug shots.

POE:  And this is what Professor X. Boylan is supposed to look like.

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Professor X. Boylan

PNB:  I got no complaints.

POE:  Nellie over at  onebooktwo.wordpress.com reviewed Resistance and said

Professor X Boylan, attorney at law, is an interesting character.  He’s obviously brilliant, but he’s also an attorney, which makes him a wordsmith.  He is very funny without meaning to be funny.

PNB: Funny?

POE:  Oh yes. Hilarious.  Nellie, also at onebooktwo.wordpress.com, wrote “Boylan make great comic relief.”

PNB: What the fuck does that mean?

POE:  It means the character based on you is funny.

PNB: What do you mean I’m funny?

POE: It’s funny, you know. Your character is a funny guy.

PNB: Funny how? I mean, what’s funny about it?

POE: Just, you know, you character is funny.

PNB: Let me understand this, ’cause, ya know maybe it’s me, but I’m funny how? I mean funny like I’m a clown?

 

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POE:  No, not like a clown –

PNB: I amuse you? I make you laugh? What do you mean funny? How am I funny?

POE: Just… you know, your character –

PNB: No, no, I don’t know.  You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what’s funny.

Disgruntled Republican

POE:  Nothing. Nothing is funny about you at all, and I apologize for implying anything at all that you find objectionable.  Truth be told, you are actually more similar to Joe Pesci’s character, Tommy, in the movie Goodfellas.

PNB:  Nope. Much as I’d like to, I can’t take credit for that. Nick and Marty came up with that all on their own.

POE:  Well, that’s a fucking relief.

 

people of earth

HEADLINE – OFFICIALS SEARCH FOR CAUSE OF FATAL HAYRIDE CRASH

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, gülen yüz, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mysterious Mysteries, News, Paying Attention, Small Town America, Stupid News, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, سكارليت جوهانسون with tags , , on October 12, 2014 by paulboylan

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Hey Officials, here’s a hint:

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It appears stupid people are the cause.

 

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HEADLINE: VISUALLY IMPAIRED LEARN HOW TO SHOOT

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, Brave New World, End of the World Knock-Knock Jokes, Fiat Lux, GOP, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, скарлетт йоханссон, Paying Attention, Politics, rimshot wav download, Small Town America, Stupid People, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, USA! USA! USA!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, سكارليت جوهانسون with tags , , , , on October 7, 2014 by paulboylan

Blind Luck

 

And the visually gifted learn how to run.

 

 

HEADLINE: RANDOM SHOOTINGS DON’T BOTHER KANSAS CITY DRIVERS

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, Headline, Headlines, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Kansas City, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, скарлетт йоханссон, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Pycho-Social Trauma, rimshot wav download, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, Travel, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on April 12, 2014 by paulboylan

Kansas City Drivers

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Ass. Press) – Several shootings have targeted apparently random vehicles along a tangle of interstate highways in south Kansas City, but it doesn’t seem to have rattled area drivers, who say they’ll stick with their normal routes.

“I live in Kansas City,” said Steven Murphy, a local commuter. “Getting shot at might be the best thing that happens to me all day.”

“Heck, I invite being targeted by a sniper,” said Linda Kromthip, another Kansas City resident driver. “I have a bumper sticker that says ‘I Hate Violent Blacks and Jews.’ I know it is a long shot, but who knows? I might get lucky.”

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH PAULA DEEN

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, Bigotry in America, News, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, TV, USA! USA! USA!, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه on February 28, 2014 by paulboylan

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Southern “down home” celebrity cook Paula Deen – exiled from public life due to racist comments she made about African Americans – is ready to return to public life. In this frankly fictitious interview, Ms. Deen describes the valuable lessons gleaned from her past mistakes.

PEOPLE OF EARTH:  Paula, thank you for speaking with me today.

PAULA DEEN:  It is such a pleasure, Paul. I just love your blog – especially your fake news stories.

POE:  Thank you.  Paula, it wasn’t so long ago that you were revealed to be a racist, especially in your attitudes about black people.

DEEN:  That’s true, Paul.  But in the days since my shocking statements I’ve had the chance to meet many, many black people from all over this great country and learn about them.  I’ve learned a lot.

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paula deen

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POE:  What would you say is the most important thing you’ve learned?

DEEN:  I’ve learned that niggers sure can hold a grudge.

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THERE IS A REASON WHY GEORGE BUSH PAINTS HIMSELF IN THE NUDE

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Artists Rights, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, Captain America, космическая девушка, Fashion Forward, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, lächerlich, love, Money and Power, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, смешной, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of Khan, مقاطع‏ ‏سكس‏ ‏مصارعه, مصارعه, مضحك, مضحکہ خیز, 滑稽, טילים, מצחיק, פיצה, بشار الاسد, خنده, خنده دار, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة on February 12, 2013 by paulboylan

aasmokie

So I am sitting on the couch in my family room watching my son watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when I comment on the recent news articles revealing that former POTUS George Herbert Walker Bush is an accomplished painter with a penchant for painting himself in the nude.

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Opening Of New U.S. Embassy

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“You mean he stood there looking at himself in a mirror?” My son asked.

“Yes, I suppose he did,” I responded.

After a short silence my son opined:

“Well, that makes sense.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Okay, let’s say you are a former conservative Republican President who likes to paint nudes,” my son says.

“Okay,” I respond. “let’s say that.”

“Well, then your possibilities are limited,” my son concludes.

“How so?” I ask.

“Have you seen Barbara Bush?” my son asks.

“His wife?”

“Yes.”

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Barbara-Bush

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“Oh,” I said, granting the point.

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UPDATE:

I found out later that it is was recently revealed that it is George Bush the Younger (the one who started two long wars but didn’t pay for them and very nearly brought down the global economy), not George Bush the Elder (the one who scoffed at his critics’ complaints that he lacked foresight by referring to it as “that vision thing”) who painted and presumably still paints himself nude.

I didn’t inform my son of my error.  I value any exercise in critical thinking and, based on even invalid data his conclusion was admirable.

And it is very likely that the younger Bush paints himself nude because his daddy did it, too, and the younger Bush is competing with him artistically.

The following photo is of a painting obtained by hackers of the younger Bush’s painting efforts. It is a bit creepy because it is clearly derived from a photograph, which means George has a collaborator who takes pictures of him in the nude:

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The elder Bush was a better president (he fought Gulf War I, neutralized Saddam Hussein without creating a quagmire the US could not exit from).  The odds are the elder Bush is a better painter.

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VOICES OF THE REVOLUTION

Posted in Brave New World, Cowboys and Aliens, GOP, Politics, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Religion and Politics, Small Town America, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, Why do people in other countries talk funny? on December 1, 2012 by paulboylan

The American Republican Party is breaking up.  A nascent war between the far right and the middle for the soul of the GOP has begun.

I predict  (and I am not alone in this) that the extreme right – the screeching lunatics who couldn’t keep their racist, misogynistic, homophobic mouths shut – will double-down on their lunacy and drive the GOP even farther to right edge of the political spectrum – and right off the edge of the political world.

We won’t actually see the GOP fragment into a bunch of independent, special interest parties before the next election. But, because the lunatics control the state-based primary and nomination process, the next Republican candidate will not even pretend – like Romney did – to be palatable to the majority of American voters.  The next Republican candidate will be openly racist, misogynistic, homophobic, dead set against immigration reform  and won’t even pretend to care about anyone making less than $500,000 per year.

That person, whoever it is, will lose to Hillary Clinton in an electoral landslide, but a close popular vote.

Which will cause the extreme right to go absolutely insane. They will triple down on their lunacy.

And that is the point when Republican moderates (yes, they do exist) will finally have had  enough.

The following recent voices are signposts into the Twilight Zone.

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“When I talk about a civil war in the Republican Party, what I mean is, it’s time for Republican elected leaders to stand up and to repudiate this nonsense [of the extreme right wing], and to repudiate it directly.”

Steve Schmidt, a top Republican strategist who ran John McCain’s 2008 campaign

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The demographics race we’re losing badly. We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

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 “We’ve got to make sure that we are not the party of big business, big banks, big Wall Street bailouts, big corporate loopholes, big anything. We cannot be, we must not be, the party that simply protects the rich so they get to keep their toys.”

Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)

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“A majority of the American people believe that the one good point about Republicans is they won’t raise taxes. However they also believe Republicans caused the economic mess in the first place and might do it again, cannot be trusted to care about cutting spending in a way that is remotely concerned about who it hurts, and are retrograde to the point of caricature on everything else.”

Heather Higgins, conservative activist

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 “Let me just be candid: My party [the GOP] is full of racists, and the real reason a considerable portion of my party wants President Obama out of the White House has nothing to do with the content of his character, nothing to do with his competence as commander-in-chief and president, and everything to do with the color of his skin, and that’s despicable.”

Retired Army Col. Lawrence Wilkerson

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“If the party doesn’t change, we can put the party on a Carnival cruise line ship during the next election and they can enjoy themselves up and down the Caribbean because that’s about the size it will become.”

John Weaver, a GOP strategist who ran ex-Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman’s presidential bid

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 “The Republicans are for free enterprise, but not free people. And that is their fundamental problem. Their freedom only applies to businesses, not individuals.”

Jennifer Granholm, commentator for politico.com

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 “In reality, the Republican Party didn’t lose the election because of Sandy, or Christie, or a mural. It lost because 71 percent of Latinos, 93 percent of black people, 73 percent of Asian Americans, and 55 percent of women voted against it. The party did not embrace policies that appeal to these demographic groups—and lost. And that’s the GOP’s fault.”

Jake Heller, reporter

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 “At the end of the day, conservatives were left out in the cold. It should have been a landslide for Romney – had he embraced a truly conservative agenda.”

Brent Bozell, president of the conservative Media Research Center

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 “We didn’t sell a positive vision.”

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.)

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 “We need a legitimate third party to challenge the current system that we have, because I don’t believe that the Republican Party … has the ability to rebrand itself.”

Herman Cain

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“I can’t stop crying.  America died. The Democrat Party voted God out and replaced Him with Romans 1. In the Good vs Evil battle…today…Evil won. Thanks a lot Christians, for not showing up. You disgust me.”

Victoria Jackson, former actress and born again Christian

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“Tea partiers will take over the Republican Party within four years.”

Richard A. Viguerie, chairman of conservatiehq.com

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“If conservative lawmakers want to win elections, they better pay attention to and address youth voters currently swayed by leftist professors who indoctrinate them for Democrats with cherry-picked lesson plans and biased lectures.”

Jennifer Kabbany (quoting “several prominent educators”)

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“President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob.”

Rick Santorum

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“There are good decent men and women, who go out everyday to put their skills to test that aren’t taught by some liberal college professor trying to indoctrinate them. I understand why [Obama] wants you to go to college — he wants to remake you in his image.”

Rick Santorum

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