Archive for Chinese Money Influencing American Politics

HEADLINE – OFFICIALS SEARCH FOR CAUSE OF FATAL HAYRIDE CRASH

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Attorney fees, gülen yüz, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, Is that really Ellie Goulding?, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mysterious Mysteries, News, Paying Attention, Small Town America, Stupid News, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Wrath of God, The Wrath of Khan, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, سكارليت جوهانسون with tags , , on October 12, 2014 by paulboylan

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Hey Officials, here’s a hint:

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It appears stupid people are the cause.

 

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW – JOHN BOEHNER

Posted in And now the snorting starts, Captain America, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, I think you are a social parasite but I want you to vote for me anyway, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, News, скарлетт йоханссон, photograph, Photography, Politics, Pycho-Social Trauma, Stupid People, The Great State of Montana!, The Second Coming, The Wrath of God, USA! USA! USA!, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, מצחיק, بشار الاسد, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة with tags , , , , , , on February 19, 2013 by paulboylan

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House of Representatives Republican Majority Leader John Boehner recently stated “Obama wants to obliterate the Republican Party.” Boehner’s complaint has inspired me to draft a fake interview where he explains why Obama needs to do anything at all to destroy the GOP when the GOP is doing a fine job of destroying itself.

I haven’t finished writing the interview yet, but I have collected together the photos I will use for illustration:

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House Leader John Boehner Holds Press Briefing At The Capitol

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Obama State of the Union

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John Boehner

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Obama Wants to Obliterate GOP 3 copy

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HEADLINE – REPUBLICANS ACCUSE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION OF FAKING JOB NUMBERS

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Crazy People, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, gülen yüz, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Money and Power, News, neşeli, смешной, photograph, Photography, Politics, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Why do people in other countries talk funny? with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE –  Jack Welch, founder and former CEO of General Electric, Romney surrogate and de facto spokesman for the Republican Party stated that the statistics showing a slow but steady improvement for the national economy have been fabricated by the Obama administration.

“These are unbelievable job numbers,” Welch tweeted. “Chicago guys will do anything… can’t debate so change the numbers.”

Welch’s sentiment reflects a constant Republican complaint about the U.S. economy.  They believe it cannot be improving and must be getting worse.

“These numbers can’t be real,” Welch said. “We did everything we could to ruin the economy. We gave America George Bush and he gave us two wars and huge entitlements that he paid for with money borrowed from China.  He drove the deficit up to astronomical levels.  Obama inherited an economy that simply could not be fixed, and after he was elected, Republicans in congress did everything they could to  stop him from fixing the economy by create jobs.   So numbers showing any improvement must be wrong.”

Others disagree.

“These statistics show what we all know, and that is that the American economy is finally rising out of the dark hole that the Republicans dug for the nation and that President Obama inherited from George Bush,” said Big Bird, a Public Television celebrity. “Obama had an impossible job to do, but now his policies are working.  There is no need to make drastic cuts in public spending, especially funding for Public Television,” Bird said. “So Mitt Romney can go fuck himself.”

During his first Presidential Debate, Republican candidate Mitt Romney refused to say which government programs he would cut, but when pressed he said he would cut funding for Public Television.

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YES, BUT WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO SAY?

Posted in amusant, And now the snorting starts, Brave New World, buffo, Cowboys and Aliens, Fashion Forward, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, Hubris, 재미, αστείος, kluchtig, News, Our animal friends, Paul Ryan, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Research and Development, The Great State of Montana!, The Wilhelm Scream, What are you sick or something? with tags , , , , , , , on October 3, 2012 by paulboylan

The medium is the message.

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“The cows are all liars!!” yelled Farmer Brown when he heard the news.

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HEADLINE – ROMNEY PANDERS TO MAINLAND CHINESE FOR CAMPAIGN CASH

Posted in American Decline, And now the snorting starts, おかしなふるまいの, अजीब, buffo, Captain America, Cowboys and Aliens, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, космическая девушка, gülen yüz, Geopolitical Insults, good guys and bad guys, GOP, greannmhar, Headline, Headlines, health care, I think you are a social parasite but I want you to vote for me anyway, 스타게이트유니버스, 재미, αστείος, ανόητο άτομα, kluchtig, lächerlich, Mad Men, Money and Power, News, neşeli, скарлетт йоханссон, Occupy Mordor, photograph, Photography, Politics, The Wilhelm Scream, The Wrath of God, Travel, مصارعه, Why do people in other countries talk funny?, טילים, פיצה, سكارليت جوهانسون, سياسة with tags , , , , , , , on September 27, 2012 by paulboylan

MUNCIE – After declaring China the “main enemy” of the United States and promising to start a trade war if elected, Mitt Romney announced plans to ask  Chinese nationals to contribute money to his campaign.

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“I don’t see anything inconsistent or hypocritical about this at all,” Romney said as he attempted to open a window in his private jet flying to Hong Kong to attend a fund raising dinner. “Darned thing is broken,” Romney complained when he failed to find a handle to “roll down” the jet window.

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“When Mitt was in charge of Bain Capital, he oversaw the export of thousands and thousands of American jobs to China,” said Romney Spokesman Trip Whiteman. “The least they can do is toss some cash at him in repayment,” Whiteman added.

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“I love the Chinese,” Romney said. “They are all the right height.  And their workers are grateful for their jobs, they don’t have health insurance, it is very, very difficult to escape poverty, and they like me – which is what I want for America,” Romney concluded.

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He has a vision.

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