Archive for Social Justice

HEADLINE – Gov’t focus on nuke crisis angers tsunami victims

Posted in Barry Goldwater, Brave New World, dada, Fair Use, Get a job, Getting it Right, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Isnt nature wonderful?, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, morbidly obese French revolutionary philosophers, News, Op Ed, Paying Attention, Politics, Post Modern Knock-Knock Jokes, Rage Against the Machine, Smiley Face, The Matrix, The Wilhelm Scream, Travel, Uncategorized, USA! USA! USA!, What are you sick or something?, Why do people in other countries talk funny? with tags , , , , , , on April 2, 2011 by paulboylan

RIKUZENTAKATA, Japan – As Japan’s prime minister held another in an endless stream of press conferences to describe in great detail the Japanese government’s efforts to fix damaged nuclear reactors, frustrated tsunami victims complained that the government has been too focused on the nuclear crisis that followed the massive wave.

“Hey! Over here! 165,000 people living in cardboard boxes and packing crates! HELLO?? Is anyone home??” 35-year-old Megumi Shimanuki shouted at the Prime Minister from the crowd gathered at the press conference. “Yeah, yeah, highly radioactive water is leaking into the sea. Blah, blah, blah. I need a house,” Shimanuki yelled.

“Go find the corporate executives and their stooge government regulators who willfully and knowingly decided to operate unsafe nuclear reactors right near the ocean, line them up against a wall, and shoot them,” suggested Ken Hashimoto, a fellow tsunami evacuee.

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“Kill them all, then confiscate their multiple homes, expensive automobiles and jewelry they bought with the profits they made cutting safety corners.  Sell that property and use the money to get me some food,” Hashimoto added.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com

HEADLINE – POLICE APPREHEND BIGGEST SERIAL KILLER

Posted in 3D, American Decline, Art, Avatar, Battlestar Galactica, Brave New World, Cinema, dada, disembodied heads of the rich and famous, Droit de Suite, Early Elizabethan Knock-Knock Jokes, Evil Smiley Face, Family and Friends, Fiction, Fire and Ice, Food, French Impressionistic Knock-Knock Jokes, German Reformation Knock-Knock Jokes (1520-1553), Getting it Right, Globalization, Hate Crimes, Headline, Headlines, Humor, IN MEMORIAM, Internet Fun!, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Life, Mad Men, morbidly obese French revolutionary philosophers, morbidly obese gymnasts, music, News, Op Ed, Our animal friends, pandemic, Paying Attention, Photography, Pop Culture, Pycho-Social Trauma, Rage Against the Machine, Research and Development, Review, Romance Language Knock-Knock Jokes, Science, Science Fiction, Small Town America, Smiley Face, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Stupid People, Sumerian Knock-Knock Jokes, Tasmania, Television, The Matrix, The River of Time, The Wrath of God, Travel, TV, Victorian Era Knock-Knock Jokes, Website of the Week, Why do people in other countries talk funny? with tags on May 1, 2009 by paulboylan


By Rhappi Kanasta, Ass. Press Writer – Thu Apr 30, 9:59 pm ET

LOS ANGELES – Police believe a 72-year-old insurance claims adjuster arrested earlier this month is the biggest serial killer in the city’s history.

“This guy is huge,” Capt. Denis Cremins said. “When we say we caught him laying around the house, we mean “around” the house.”

The suspect weighs over a metric ton and is so large that his arrest required two specially trained SWAT units just to put him in improvised handcuffs originally used to restrain emotionally unstable, bipolar hippos at the Los Angeles Zoo.

“We trained in Iraq, so my men are familiar with morbidly obese perpetrators,” Denis said. “But this is way beyond my experience.  How could he let that happen to him? He should be ashamed of himself.”

Serial killers often over-eat, said FBI profiler, David Carr. “It really is a big problem and it can lead to clinical depression. Without counseling and medical intervention, a serial killer’s uncontrollable appetite for fast food eventually interferes with their predatory activities, and when that happens suicidal thoughts are not uncommon” Carr explained.

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Source for headline:  http://largest-ever-serial-killer-captured.html

FAT PROFITS

Posted in Art, Family and Friends, Globalization, Headline, Headlines, Humor, It's not what you think, Joseph Bleckman, Mad Men, News, ученые, Op Ed, Paying Attention, Pycho-Social Trauma, Research and Development, Stargate Universe, Steampunk, Tasmania, Television, The Matrix, The Wrath of God with tags on January 1, 2009 by paulboylan


1642-long-tongue

People of Earth, it is getting tough out there.The rich are getting richer, the middle class is joining the poor and the poor are getting desperate.

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Well, there is a guy who has decided to fight the system and pitch in and do his part. But he is being sued and risks going to jail for his efforts – and it just isn’t right.  It isn’t fair.  And we have to do something to help him.

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Dr. Craig Alan Bittner is being punished for actually doing something to help the world. Dr. Bittner is a plastic surgeon that works at an exclusive Beverly Hills clinic. He specializes in a surgical technique called “liposuction.”Liposuction is the method of removing fat from lazy people with lots of money who want to look thin without exercising or dieting.Instead of joining a gym and eating less, these rich people would rather pay Dr. Bittner lots and lots of money to use tubes to suck the fat out of their useless, leach-like bodies.

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Dr. Bittner is very good at his job. Over the years he has sucked a lot of fat out a lot of fat rich people who paid him very, very well for helping them look thin without working for it like the rest of us must if we want to lose weight.

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Don’t jump any conclusions about Dr. Bittner. He is more than is just an over-paid janitor serving the pointless, selfish interests of the idle, over-fed rich. Liposuction is only what he does to earn a living.His goal – the passion that drives him and gives meaning to his life – is protecting the earth.Dr. Bittner is a serious and conscientious environmentalist.

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And that’s why he decided to invest his own money, time, and effort to develope a scientific method for transforming the fat he takes from his corpulent, parasitic patients and turning that fat into biodiesel he uses to fuel his Ford SUV and his girlfriend’s Lincoln Navigator.

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"It was your ass - and now it's gas...."

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Apparently, Dr. Bittner has a lot of fat on his hands – and not just any fat, but the very best fat. Rich people become obese blobs by eating the best food and drinking the finest beverages.The result is the creation of fat – or, as scientists call it “adipose tissue” that is so pure and free of chemicals like pesticides that it is perfect for the creation of bio fuel.

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Dr. Bittner is understandably proud of his scientific breakthrough. “The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel — and I have more fat than I can use,” Bittner posted on lipodiesel.com. “Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the earth.”

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Well, as we all know, no good deed goes unpunished.Some of Dr. Bittner’s patients are suing him for allegedly taking out more fat than required to make them look good.And state authorities are trying to revoke his license to practice medicine because making fuel from fat taken from rich people is somehow illegal.

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People of Earth, I ask you: what is the harm? Who is Dr. Bittner hurting by turning fat into fuel?His fat, rich patients aren’t contributing anything to our nation or the world.Look at the last eight years. We gave them huge tax breaks and de-regulated banking for the sole purpose of making them even richer. But, in exchange, they were supposed to invest in new businesses and create jobs. Did this happen? No. They took all of our money and kept it – and got fat eating expensive food that they bought with money they took from us.

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Now that the economy has collapsed, are they suffering? No, they are not. Not one of them has lost their job (they don’t work) or their homes (they own several).All they did was get fat.

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Well, the least they can do now is contribute the fat they made eating food paid for with our money to make fuel for our cars.That is the very least they can do. If I had my way, when they die, they would be legally obligated to donate their organs to poor people who need transplants.

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In this day and age – in this increasingly harsh economic climate -it would be a sin to throw fat out unused. It would be like throwing away money when people are starving because they can’t afford to buy food.

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And it would be equally wrong to punish Dr. Bittner for not only doing the smart thing, but for doing the economic an environmentally right thing.

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Please join me in doing something about it. I call upon all of my readers to join me in asking Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger to pardon Dr. Bittner.

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Don't laugh. Do you look this good?

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I’ve made it easy for you.Just go to http://free-bittner.livejournal.com/ and follow the instructions for sending an email directly to Arnold asking for him to pardon Dr. Bittner.I’ve even written the letter for you. All you have to do is click to join this grass roots effort to save Dr. Bittner – and to make the world a better place by encouraging using fat taken from rich people – fat made, in part, with our money – to make fuel to power our cars.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

 

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